k-land

Things M Says (Part 44)

2012-01-18T16:15:00.002-05:00

This morning, before school:

M: I can't find my other Croc.
me: Well, that's why you need to put your shoes away when you take them off. Now you need to go look around all the weird places like under your bed and in the yellow room.
M, walking back: Mom, you were right! It was under my bed!
me: See? I knew it! Why do you think I have a "shoe pile" over there?
M: ...
me: Why do you think I tell you to put your shoes in the pile every day?
M (thinking): So that everyone will know where their shoes are.
me: Exactly.
M (thinking some more): Wow, it's like I'm at school right now, because I'm learning.

Things E Says (Part 12)

2012-01-12T12:15:00.001-05:00

We work on pronunciation with E a lot, because of the cleft. This is my favorite:

me: Say "one more t-t-t-tiiiime"
E: One more I-i-i-i-ime!

Things E Says (Part 11)

2012-01-12T12:12:00.000-05:00

75 times a day:

E: Mama, wook!

Things M Says (Part 43)

2012-01-12T12:08:00.001-05:00

This morning before school, with a new Wii from Christmas at our house.

M: My ear really hurts. I think I need to stay home and rest my ear.
me: So you need to stay home and lay in bed and read? If you're sick you have to let your body rest and lay in bed. You won't be playing the Wii or watching TV and movies.
M: I think my ear would be okay if I was playing the Wii...
me: Maybe, but if you're sick then you need to lay in bed.
M (walking away): I think my ear is feeling a little better...

Things E Says (Part 10)

2011-10-29T22:17:00.002-04:00

Everyone looking up at a helicopter:

E: "My hewicopper!"

Sure buddy, it's totally yours!

Things M Says (Part 42)

2011-10-29T22:14:00.001-04:00

M and R talking during bathtime:

R: "It's a pain in the butt."
M: "Why is it called a pain?"
R: "If you say something is a pain, then you mean that it's annoying."
M: "Why do you say it's a pain in the butt?"
R: "It's just a figure of speech to say 'pain in the butt'."
M: "A butt?!" (lifts his bum out of the bathwater and points at it) "You mean like this little cutie?!"

I Love...This Thing!

2011-09-15T17:30:00.001-04:00

It was recently my birthday on September 11th, which brought along with it reflections on the national tragedy in conjuction with the Birthday Fairy. The Birthday Fairy is my mother's invention (don't tell my kids!), and she makes birthday mornings ever so much fun! You wake up on your birthday with a trail of goodies from your bed to the living room where, like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you get some presents. My kids love it, even when it's their mom's birthday. M woke me up bursting and said "come see what you got, it's so exciting!!"

This year I chose several items from Amazon to "help" the Birthday Fairy choose things that I would truly love to have. I found an old Super Nintendo game I used to love to play when I was a kid visiting my cousins house for under $10, as well as an almond flour cookbook to give support to my GAPS diet, and a CD that I haven't heard in years. But the thing I am loving most is having this little doohickey around. It's a scalp massager and I love it. It relieves my stress and it was about $3, which relieves my stress a little more, ha! The first time I used it on M he stopped in his tracks with half-closed eyes and said "it makes me feel all shiver-y". Exactly.

Chocolate Coconut "Larabars"

2011-09-06T01:00:00.003-04:00

Chocolate Coconut "Larabars"

Put these items in a food processor and mix until they form a ball. Set the ball aside in a bowl.

1 cup pitted dates, chopped

1 cup dried fruit (figs, raisins, etc.)*

1 1/2 tablespoons cocoa powder

pinch salt

Now put these items in the food processor and mix until the consistency is like coarse flour. Add the ball back in by pinching pieces of it off and adding them into the food processor bowl. Then add the coconut oil and water by drizzling over the bowl evenly. Process until the dough becomes a ball again, or close to it.

1 1/3 cups soaked and dehydrated nuts (almonds, walnuts, cashews, hazelnuts, pecans, etc.)**

1/4 cup unsweetened shredded coconut

1/4 cocoa powder

2 tablespoons coconut oil (to desired consistency)

2 tablespoons filtered water (to desired consistency)

Press into a 8x8 glass pan, then cut into bars and serve immediately. You can also store them in an airtight container at room temperature.

*I used dried figs

**I used equal parts hazelnuts, almonds and walnuts

This post is a part of Fight Back Friday at Food Renegade, Pennywise Platter at The Nourishing Gourmet, and Real Food Wednesdays at Kelly the Kitchen Kop. (And Fat Tuesdays at Real Food Forager!)

Herbed Chicken Salad

2011-09-03T15:30:00.001-04:00

Herbed Chicken Salad

3-4 cups of cooked chicken, cut up into cubes
1/2 cup mayonnaise (preferably homemade)
1/3 cup sour cream
two handfuls of parsley, finely chopped
handful of tarragon, finely chopped
handful of thyme, finely chopped
several sage leaves, finely chopped
2 pickles, finely chopped OR dill pickle relish
1 tsp dried dill
1 cup of grapes, sliced in half (optional)
1 cup of pecans and/or walnuts (preferably soaked and dehydrated) (optional)
salt and pepper to taste

1. Combine all the ingredients in a large bowl and stir to combine.

Use to make sandwiches on sprouted bread, or if you are on GAPS, like me, eat wrapped up in a lettuce leaf. Yum!

Onion, Pepper, Broccoli, and Herb Fritatta

2011-08-31T11:43:00.000-04:00

photo credit: http://www.comfytummy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/breakfast-pie-1.jpg

Onion, Pepper, Broccoli, and Herb Fritatta

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Chop all the vegetables and heat up a cast iron skillet to medium heat. Grease a glass pie plate with butter or palm shortening or coconut oil and set aside. Now saute these items together, until the onions are translucent, about 8 minutes.

2 tablespoons butter
1 onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp dried basil
salt and pepper to taste

Pour the cooked vegetables into the prepared pie plate. Add all these items to the cast iron pan next, and saute until broccoli is bright green and tender, about 8 minutes.

2 tablespoons butter
1 cup chopped broccoli
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp dried basil
salt and pepper to taste

Pour this batch of cooked vegetables into the prepared pie plate as well. Spread around evenly. Then combine these items in a separate bowl:

8 eggs, whisked
1 cup shredded cheddar
salt and pepper to taste

And pour the egg mixture over the vegetables in the pie plate, making sure they are all covered and with egg (for the most part).

Add more salt, pepper, thyme and basil to taste on top. Bake at 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes.

How Do I Start GAPS?

2011-08-30T18:31:00.009-04:00

I've had a lot of people ask me about how to get started on GAPS now that I have been at it myself for 5 1/2 months. Whoa! That's a long time! Anyways, I wrote an email to my friend, and it turned into this post. Hopefully you will find the links and structure inspiring so that you might take GAPS on for yourself.

GAPS Introduction and How-To

Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to staaart! Okay, so first of all here's the basic overview of the diet: GAPS Diet Overview. Now you know where you're going, and it's time to prepare prior to starting Intro Diet:

buy GAPS books:

do NOT buy Gut and Psychology Syndrome unless you can afford it no problem and you would like to read it; it's not essential, it's haphazardly written, but it's also very interesting in a rambling kind of way!
DO buy GAPS Guide by Baden Lashkov, which is much more clearly written, shorter and cheaper :)
DO buy Internal Bliss, which is a spiral-bound book full of GAPS recipes
you can buy any or all of these books here more easily (and cheaper!) than on Amazon (which I linked to for review purposes, not price/ease): List of GAPS Books

buy cod liver oil: Green Pastures Cod Liver Oil
buy probiotics:

Bio-Kult is recommended and it really IS awesome; you can buy it here: Bio-Kult Probiotics

I would recommend buying in bulk since it goes from $42/bottle to $37/bottle.

The next best probiotic I have found is the Garden of Life Vitamin Code Raw Probiotics (it says 85 billion live cultures on the bottle), and it's a little cheaper: Garden of Life RAW Probiotics - Women

find bones/meat using this link: Eat Wild Directory or this link: Grassfed Beef Directory

find grass-fed beef, lamb (if stuck, Whole Foods has them, but they are pricey)
find pastured chickens (Whole Foods has a decent price on pastured chickens: the Mary's Air Chilled Pastured chickens; buy in a "box" and they will give you 10% off)
find wild seafood (this is easy to find, but harder to find with bones; try Asian markets)

make bone broth ahead of time, store in freezer (make sure to store in large glass jars or safe plastic like polypropylene)

recipes for broth, beef, chicken, fish (including quick fish stock): Broth is Beautiful

buy/make sauerkraut, pickles, other fermented veggies

Bubbie's brand is made the old-fashioned way with salt, which means it's raw, probiotic, and needs to be refrigerated; I get mine through my monthly order at Azure Standard: Azure Standard
how to make sauerkraut: Old-Fashioned Lacto-Fermented Sauerkraut
how to make kimchi: Kimchi: Korean Sauerkraut
how to make lots of sauerkraut juice: Is Sauerkraut Juice The New Gatorade?
how to make dilly carrot sticks: Lacto-Fermented Dilly Carrot Sticks
how to make pickles: Lacto-Fermented Dill Pickles OR Sour Pickles
how to make Moroccan preserved lemons: Morrocan Preserved Lemons

find good local eggs: How To Buy Eggs

ask if their chickens eat soy, you do NOT want soy in the feed
ask if their chickens eat bugs outside in the sun, since this produces dark yolks full of vitamin D and other nutrients
you may pay $5/dozen at farmer's markets, but people with backyard chickens tend to charge around $3/dozen, so keep your ears open for those opportunities

find raw dairy: Where To Get Real Milk

how to make raw milk yogurt:

buy some store whole milk organic yogurt and put 1-2 tablespoons in a quart mason jar and fill with raw milk, stir, cover with a cloth, and let sit at room temperature (around 85 degrees) for at least 24 hours; then you have yogurt!
OR you can make your own starter and then make raw milk yogurt from that; here's a how-to: GAPS Yogurt OR Homemade Yogurt
OR you can simply buy and use Strauss, Humboldt or Trader Joe's yogurts; make sure they are whole milk, organic, plain, and have a long list of different strains of bacteria in them (the longer the list the better!)

how to make sour cream:

recipe:
OR buy Daisy brand or any other sour cream that has only the ingredients: cream, milk, culture, salt (no skim milk, no milk powder, no thickeners)

how to make whey (from raw milk, yogurt, etc.): How To Make Whey
how to make ghee: How To Make Ghee

use Kerrygold or Humboldt butter (they are grass-fed), or other grass-fed butters you might find in your area

find raw cheese:

there are raw, grass-fed cheeses on Azure Standard
Rumiano is a grass-fed brand
Tillamook is grass-fed MOST of the time if you are in a bind (it's also not raw)
Organic Valley is raw, but I don't know if they are grass-fed
Trader Joe's carries some grass-fed cheeses

soak and dehydrate nuts for later in Intro Diet

How to soak: Soaking Nuts
then dehydrate out in the sun or in a dehydrator until crisp again
to use as "flour" just grind up in a food processor

find coconut flour, coconut oil, coconut shreds (unsweetened): all available at Azure Standard

virgin coconut oil tastes and smells like coconut, whereas the expeller-pressed kind has no flavor or taste
coconut flour is VERY handy for making treats, but has a lot of fiber so eat carefully
coconut shreds are tasty and filling, plus you can add them to yogurt bowls and things like that

make water kefir, milk kefir, or kombucha (all are allowed):

how to make water kefir: Homemade Soda Pop With Kefir Grains
how to make coconut water kefir: How To Make Young Coconut Water Kefir
how to make milk kefir: How To Make Milk Kefir
how to make kombucha: How To Make Kombucha
where to buy water kefir grains, milk kefir grains and kombucha mushrooms: Cultures For Health

Okay, now you're ready to start. You should have a fridge/freezer full of stock, yogurt, sauerkraut, whey, eggs, veggies, grass-fed meats, ghee and such (eventually in stage 6 of Intro Diet you can add nuts and fruit)
Below is a Google doc with all my recipes in it, both for Intro Diet and Full GAPS Diet. It's a work in progress because I haven't transferred all the recipes over, plus I'm always finding new ones. Feel free to check it out, and add more links in comments if you have them!

List of GAPS Recipes

Also, I have two additional Google docs that go into more depth with real food and candida, both of which are very helpful:

I hope this helps (and doesn't overwhelm!) you as you get started. I'm so excited to help you transition into this!

Peanut Butter Brownies with Chocolate Buttercream Frosting (GAPS, grain-free)

2011-08-22T13:22:00.001-04:00

I saw this recipe on Grain-Free Foodies and was inspired to make a chocolate-peanut butter version for my GAPS dessert quota. They came out so beautifully! I would even make these for company, kind of like the Lemon Curd Bars that even "regular" people like. I tend to worry about my taste buds these days, since having been on GAPS and real food for so long I don't need as much sweetener in my desserts. But really, these brownies are good enough for anyone to like, even if they aren't a fellow GAPSter.

Chocolate-Frosted Peanut Butter Brownies

2 1/2 cups peanut butter
1 cup raw honey
4 eggs
3/4 tsp. baking soda--optional, do not use if on GAPS

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Combine all ingredients together with a stand mixer using the paddle attachment, until the batter is well-mixed, glossy and slightly stiff. However, do not beat too long! If it's too stiff, then the brownies will be tough.
2. Butter a 10x15 glass pyrex pan very generously. Pour batter into the pan, spreading out with a spatula. If this doesn't work, get your fingers wet with water and press into an even layer.
3. Bake for 30-35 minutes, until golden brown and set in the middle.
4. Let cool completely before frosting.

Chocolate Buttercream Frosting

2 sticks grass-fed butter, at room temperature

1/2 cup raw honey

2/3 cup cocoa powder

2 tsp. vanilla

1. Put butter and honey into a bowl on your stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. Whisk at a high speed for 3-5 minutes until well-combined and light colored. Turn mixer off and add cocoa powder and vanilla. Start mixer slow until combined, then whisk on high for another 3-5 minutes. Turn off, scrape down the sides of the bowl and combine by hand.

2. Chill entire bowl and whisk attachment in the fridge for 30 minutes. Remove and whisk once more for 3-5 minutes. Use to frost immediately. Store leftover frosting in the fridge.

Daughters of Mormonism Podcast: Gender Bias in the Book of Mormon

2011-08-04T18:31:00.001-04:00

For the last three days I have been listening to the Daughter of Mormonism podcast, one after another. I have been blown away by how much I love this podcast, perhaps because I consider myself "over" a lot of the issues that are raised in some of the episodes. I was particularly struck by this feeling as I listened to the third episode called "Gender Bias in the Book of Mormon".

I was surprised by the strong emotional reaction I had as I listened to this episode. I have given up on believing in a literal translation of the Book of Mormon, so why would I care about whether or not there are as many "he" references as "she" in the text? It turns out that I still care an awful lot. The Book of Mormon and it's portrayal of men and women were a major part of my childhood, affecting the way I thought about myself and where I fit in in the grand scheme of things.

I was the kind of believer growing up who would have denied that gender bias made a difference to me. It could have been because I was young, or I just didn't see the impact, or that I could sense that admitting that would be something you might say if you didn't have faith. But ultimately, as is the case with feminism and sexism in general, once you see it you can't "un-see" it. A friend of mine once put it this way, to quell fears of those who say feminism is unrealistic because feminists see it everywhere: "I see it everywhere, but it isn't the only thing I see". That really resonates with me.

I realize now the damage that gender bias in the Book of Mormon has done in my life. The great and abominable church, the daughters of Zion, and the gates of hell are all "she" and "her" in the BoM passages Sybil read in the podcast. It became a burden I was used to, to "take the extra step". I took the extra step to change all the words he to she, him to her, men to women. I took the extra step to tell myself that I mattered even though the scriptures forgot to mention my sex. I took the extra step to excuse the men over the pulpit who forgot me, to tell myself that they didn't mean it and I was actually included. I took the extra step to fit myself back into a structure that was made for men, over and over again.

I accepted it because I didn't know any better. But that doesn't mean that I didn't want something better, even back then. And it certainly doesn't mean that I accept this now, not when I have done so much work to value myself as a whole person. I am deserving of, yes, even my own pronouns! At the very least my own pronouns.

It is similar to the damage done by being taught and believing that the greatest deity is male, God the Father. Mormonism's redeeming quality here is that we believe in a Heavenly Mother, but it doesn't do all that much since she is essentially silent and absent. It wasn't enough for me to simply knew that she existed. I wanted a female god to relate to, to imagine myself being! And for that matter I wanted to have female scripture heroes, female General Authorities to emulate and revere, and women in my local ward who had real power and influence.

It's taken me a long time to admit how I was affected by this one specific part of Mormonism. How did you feel while you were growing up in the Mormon faith, as a female reading these gender messages in the Book of Mormon? Can you look back now and see more clearly how it affected you?

(cross-posted at The Exponent)

GAPS Chocolate Nut Bars and Coconut Lemon Bars

2011-08-04T01:50:00.002-04:00

Oh boy are these good! I based them off the wrapper of the Chocolate Coconut Chew Larabar I ate earlier yesterday, using this recipe as a template from Wardeh over at GNOWFGLINS. I made a double batch and pressed them into a 9x13 pan and they fit perfectly.

These bars are great because they are high in protein, the only sugars are from the dried fruit, and they are made with organic items. The nuts called for have been soaked in salty water and dehydrated to reduce enzyme inhibitors. This is also a raw and GAPS friendly recipe, not to mention portable and relatively easy to make in bulk. I haven't priced it out, but I am also pretty sure that my homemade bars are cheaper than the individual price of a Larabar at $1.29 at Trader Joe's and $1.49 at Whole Foods. But that's not to say that they aren't worth it, because I am known to buy a box of 12 bars at Whole Foods upon occasion!

Chocolate Nut Bars

1 cup pitted dates

1/2 cup dried figs

1/2 cup raisins

3 T cocoa powder

large pinch of coarse sea salt

3/4 cup soaked and dehydrated almonds

3/4 cup soaked and dehydrated walnuts

scant 1/4 cup cocoa powder

scant 1/4 cup shredded coconut

approx. 2 T. expeller-pressed coconut oil

approx. 2 T. filtered water

1. Put dates, figs, raisins, 3 T cocoa powder and salt into a food processor and process until it turns into a paste and forms a ball. It should take a few minutes, and may require you to hold your food processor down firmly for the first minute or so!

2. Remove ball of paste and set aside in a bowl. Add almonds and walnuts to the food processor and process until a fine nut meal forms (don't go too long or you will have almond-walnut butter).

3. Turn off and add the ball of fruit paste back in, pinching into smaller pieces to ease the mixing process. Add remaining cocoa powder and coconut and process until

it makes a dry paste that you can press into a glass pan. If needed, add a little coconut oil and water to moisten, about 1/2 teaspoon at a time.

Coconut Lemon Bars

1 cup dates

1/2 cup dried figs

1/2 cup raisins

2 T. shredded coconut

large pinch of sea salt

3/4 cup soaked and dehydrated almonds

3/4 cup soaked and dehydrated walnuts

scant 1/2 cup cocoa powder

juice of 3 lemons

approx. 2 T. expeller-pressed coconut oil

approx. 2 T. filtered water

1. Put dates, figs, raisins, 3 T. shredded coconut and salt into a food processor and process until it turns into a paste and forms a ball. It should take a few minutes, and may require you to hold your food processor down firmly for the first minute or so!

2. Remove ball of paste and set aside in a bowl. Add almonds and walnuts to the food processor and process until a fine nut meal forms (don't go too long or you will have almond-walnut butter).
3. Turn off and add the ball of fruit paste back in, pinching into smaller pieces to ease the mixing process. Add remaining shredded coconut and lemon juice and process until it makes a dry paste that you can press into a glass pan. If needed, add a little coconut oil and water to moisten, about 1/2 teaspoon at a time.

Chocolate Buttercream Frosting (w/ Chocolate Mint and Chocolate Orange options)

2011-07-26T18:39:00.000-04:00

Basic Chocolate Buttercream
1 cup softened grass-fed butter
1/2 cup raw honey
1/2 cup cocoa powder
2 tsp. vanilla

Mint Chocolate Variation:
add 1 tsp. mint extract

Orange Chocolate Variation:
add 1 tsp. orange extract

Things M Says (Part 41)

2011-07-12T19:55:00.000-04:00

M, after talking incessantly to Super Mario World: "Hey Mom, is there a guy that pops out right here that goes 'zoop! zoop! zoop! zoop! ahh! and then throws fireballs?"

Um, nope. Pretty sure I would have noticed that.

My Planned Parenthood Carnival: My Story

2011-07-07T16:55:00.001-04:00

(The carnival hub is here. And there are lots of other posts on Shakesville here. You can also look for the #MyPP hashtag on Twitter.)

I have actually never been to Planned Parenthood. I live a life of white, middle-class privilege where my parents always covered my insurance. And when I went to college, got married, and had children, I always had insurance. I'm very lucky to have had that coverage. For so many other women, Planned Parenthood is there for them for patient care.

My experiences with Planned Parenthood are more second-hand than anything else. I had a roommate in college who used Planned Parenthood because she didn't have any insurance as a poor, newly-married student. She had her first child under the watchful and affordable care of the Utah Valley Planned Parenthood. I'm glad that she had that security.

A more recent second-hand experience involves my work with Phoenix Youth at Risk. A youth in one of our programs came to me when she had just lost her virginity. Her partner, a so-called best friend, snuck his condom off right before they started having intercourse. He thought it was funny. He thought maybe she wanted to have a baby. She was 14. I made sure that I wouldn't be breaking any rules by taking her to our local Planned Parenthood. I found out that I was allowed to take her there, but I couldn't go inside with her. I told her that I would take her. She never did take me up on the offer, especially after she found out she wasn't pregnant. But I'm glad that I have PP to lean on if another youth ever comes to me for help.

In short, I believe in Planned Parenthood. They fill a vital, non-judgmental role in our communities all around the U.S. I hope the voice of the people in every state holds Planned Parenthood up at this time of need. If you can spare any donation money right now, please give what you can to Planned Parenthood.

Bone Broth Challenge (not so hard when you're on GAPS)

2011-07-04T10:41:00.000-04:00

CHEESESLAVE is doing a Bone Broth Challenge for the month of July. Since I am about halfway through my third month on GAPS, I decided to join in and raise awareness on bone broth and all it's benefits.

First things first, how do you make bone broth? Well, I use the Broth is Beautiful recipe here. You will find recipes for basic chicken, beef, and fish stock there. Or I make my delicious basic Homemade Chicken Soup, without dumplings for now while I complete GAPS.

Lately I have been just throwing bones, water, carrots, celery, and a little apple cider vinegar into my slow cooker for one hour at room temperature (the vinegar draws the minerals out of the bones). Then I move the slow cooker outside on a chair and cook it on high overnight. That's the easiest way to make stock I have found.

I have had some truly amazing healing take place for me as I have drunk three cups of broth every day for the last 3.5 months. You don't need to commit to GAPS or cups of stock every day to feel better though. If you do the Bone Broth Challenge, you are only committing to one cup every day. See how you feel after this month.

Benefits of bone broths include:

Healing your gut lining: stock is alkalizing, which balances and soothes leaky gut syndrome (which most of us have from growing up eating the Standard American Diet (SAD)).
Collagen: this can help reverse wrinkles and cellulite. For me this is a possible added bonus while I do GAPS!
Calcium and other minerals: this can revitalize your teeth and bones, hair and fingernails. I have even heard some people swear they have remineralized teeth that have been hit by decay.

My Planned Parenthood Carnival

2011-06-29T13:16:00.000-04:00

What Tami Said and Shakesville are co-hosting an upcoming blog carnival. On July 7th please join in on your own blog and link up with Shakesville and What Tami Said to share your story. Planned Parenthood provides vital services to too many Americans for us to stand by and be silent.

Here is the blog announcement of the carnival so you can read more about what do to. For example, on idea is to use the hashtag #MyPP on Twitter to raise awareness of the issue.

Modesty: Rape Culture, Rape Apology, Young Women, Young Men

2011-06-20T17:00:00.001-04:00

[Trigger warning for rape and body policing.]

I have recently come across a few posts regarding what Young Women wear, and what they are told to wear. Some say Stop Telling the YW to Be Modest for the YM, and some rebut with Please Keep Telling the YW to Be Modest for the YM. Of course, whenever we veer into telling someone what to wear, there is a possibility for blame. If we tell the Young Women not to show their shoulders, their legs, their skin, or even the outline of their body, because it will "make" the boys aroused, it sends a clear message: You are responsible for how the boys think and react to your sexual body.

While discussing what YW should wear, two different friends of mine used typical victim-blaming language. One friend essentially said that he didn't think women are responsible for dressing modestly for men, but just that the men would appreciate it. And another friend said that it would irresponsible for him not to teach his daughters that they can avoid unwanted sexual advances by how they dress. I emphasize the italicized parts, because they are the most vital to understand the rape culture we live in.

The problems with these two statements? It's still not a good reason to dress modestly for someone else, even when a benign word like "appreciate" is used. It's still forsomeone else, essentially making women responsible for men's reactions to women's bodies. And when women are responsible for how they dress "making" men aroused, the victim-blaming has commenced. As for the second statement, how you dress has been shown NOT to affect rates of rape and sexual assault. It could not be more clear that when we teach our young women how to dress for safety, we are not arming them with safety at all but simply reinforcing rape culture under the guise of concern.

This situation with good friends puts me in a difficult position, aptly described as The Terrible Bargain, where I either keep quiet about their rape apologetic answers or I do bring it up and risk friendships and credibility as I will most likely be seen as a shrill harpy for being so difficult to talk to. In this case, I spoke up.

I pointed out to my friend that even if we tell our daughters to think a little bit of what they are wearing and how it makes men react, then it is still victim-blaming. I also talked about how we generally deal with rape as "how can people avoid rape as victims", as opposed to "how do we hold perpetrators responsible". Why are we so focused on the victims? Because rape culture perpetuates our default explanation to be geared towards the victims.

It's easier to deal with victims than with aggressors. It's easier to tell women what to wear and how to act and how to avoid rape, than to root out sexual violence in our society and culture. Easier is not good enough for me. I expect more. Let me say that again: I expect more. Maybe instead of worrying about how we talk to our daughters about what they wear and and how they act and how that will get them raped, we need to be talking to our sons about how they treat women, or objectify women, or use women.

Addressing rape culture and the rape apologetics that we have all heard is a tricky business, but it is vitally important. And here's the rub: people you know, people you like, people you respect, and people you love will, at some point, apologize for rape or victim-blame. I still do myself sometimes, and I care about this issue passionately. I am personally committed to eradicate victim-blaming from my thoughts, speech, and actions. I expect more from myself, so I feel confident that I can reasonably expect more from people in my life.

The truth is that I'm not trying to hurt someone's feelings when I ask them to examine what they are saying. I care too much about women to let rape apologia reign. The truth is that I am not dense. I understand what someone means when they say they want to protect their daughter by teaching her to avoid rape by dressing modestly. But like so many other feminists, I expect more.

So in my defense, let's have a little quote, the portion that deals with how women dress in particular:

Rape culture is 1 in 6 women being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is not even talking about the reality that many women are sexually assaulted multiple times in their lives. Rape culture is the way in which the constant threat of sexual assault affects women’s daily movements. Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how you wear it, how you carry yourself, where you walk, when you walk there, with whom you walk, whom you trust, what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, what you drink, how much you drink, whether you make eye contact, if you’re alone, if you’re with a stranger, if you’re in a group, if you’re in a group of strangers, if it’s dark, if the area is unfamiliar, if you’re carrying something, how you carry it, what kind of shoes you’re wearing in case you have to run, what kind of purse you carry, what jewelry you wear, what time it is, what street it is, what environment it is, how many people you sleep with, what kind of people you sleep with, who your friends are, to whom you give your number, who’s around when the delivery guy comes, to get an apartment where you can see who’s at the door before they can see you, to check before you open the door to the delivery guy, to own a dog or a dog-sound-making machine, to get a roommate, to take self-defense, to always be alert always pay attention always watch your back always be aware of your surroundings and never let your guard down for a moment lest you be sexually assaulted and if you are and didn’t follow all the rules it’s your fault.
--Melissa McEwan from Shakesville, on FAQ: Rape Culture 101

Amen. It's harmful to young women to be saddled with not only their own growing and changing bodies, developing sexuality, and insecurities, but also with the responsibility not to tempt boys and men. And not just to tempt them in an impure-thoughts kind of way, but not to tempt them in a it's-your-own-fault-if-he-rapes-you kind of a way. No woman deserves that kind of pressure and responsibility.

So not only is the question of rape culture and rape apology a tricky one, but now we get to figure out how we DO talk to our children and the Young Men and Young Women about sexuality, modesty, responsibility, and boundaries. How do we navigate those waters without victim-blaming? How do have these conversations without blaming women for men's thoughts? If anyone can figure this out, it's our community here at The Exponent. I'd love to hear your progressive, body-positive, feminist ideas.

(cross-posted at The Exponent)

Things M Says (part 40)

2011-05-13T23:57:00.000-04:00

M, comparing his manhood to E's: "E! Your pen!s is getting bigger, but not as big as mine!"

Oooo-kay. It starts young, no?

From Eat Fat, Lose Fat to GAPS Intro Diet

2011-05-08T03:45:00.000-04:00

As you all know, I committed to lose weight using the Eat Fat, Lose Fat regimen last October. What I found out through the process of taking coconut oil in hot water with a squeeze of lemon three times a day for fivemonths is this: healing comes before weight loss.

In the process of taking all that coconut oil, I did lose about 5-10 pounds. But instead of slimming down beyond that, I found that my weight stabilized and held as other health issues improved. I had more energy. I was sleeping regularly. I actually wanted to work out and be active by going outside, walking, riding my bike, doing yoga and pilates. I felt at ease, content, levelheaded. I started to wonder if it was simply okay that I hadn't lost weight yet. My body was healing!

Through that process I realized that when I give my body what it needs, it will heal from the roots up. I am guessing that my weight gain and fatigue and hormone fluctuations are a result of nutritional deficiency. As I heal from that deficiency, my problems disappear in order starting from the underlying issues all the way up to things like weight gain.

So that brings me to the GAPS healing diet that I started on March 19th. It was only natural that after healing with coconut oil alone, an intense healing diet was the next step. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was having success healing, yes, but it was slow. I was less tired, but I wasn't energetic all day. I was more active, but I wasn't running and biking and yogaing everyday. Those are the kinds of things I really want. I want to feel excited and happy about life! I want to run and bike and feel energized, not the need for a nap.

On March 19th I started the GAPS Intro Diet. I made it through the six stages in about 6-7 weeks. I am about to move to the Full GAPS Diet which includes more variety than any of the Intro Diet stages. What I had experienced with the Eat Fat, Lose Fat diet was only a small part of the way I have been feeling for the last month and a half on GAPS. Yes, the die-off was intense at first (the first week or two), but oh the energy! and oh the happy body I have! GAPS is intense, yes, but it is worth it!

(I'll be writing more in depth on GAPS issues over the next several months. I committed to do GAPS from March 19th until September 19th of this year. I might even do a GAPS challenge for my readers in a week or two. Don't worry, you'll only be committing to a week of GAPS!)

Things M Says (part 39)

2011-04-21T17:08:00.000-04:00

M says the full name of any show that he wants to watch.

M: "Mom, can I watch Avatar: The Last Airbender?"
M: "Hey Dad! We have five episodes of Spongebob Squarepants!"
M: "Can we watch the special extended edition of The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring?"

Okay, that last one is made up. But you get the picture.

My Choice

2011-04-13T10:22:00.004-04:00

"So though the fight over Planned Parenthood might beabout abortion, Planned Parenthood itself isn’t about abortion. It’s primarily about contraception and reproductive health. And if Planned Parenthood loses funding, what will mainly happen is that cancer screenings and contraception and STD testing will become less available to poorer people. Folks with more money, of course, have many other ways to receive all these services, and tend to get them elsewhere already." --Ezra Klein on What Planned Parenthood Actually Does

When I was 20 weeks pregnant with my second son, I went in for my ultrasound and checkup hoping to find out the gender of my baby. I already had one three-year-old son, and I was hoping for another boy. The ultrasound tech saw the male gentalia and told us. I was ecstatic! I asked a lot of questions about the heart and brain and bones. The technician asked if I was a nurse, surprised by my inquisition. I said no, I was just interested in physiology. After studying many sciences, and then modern dance in college, I had an awareness of and interest in the human body that was automatic. The idea of growing a skeleton, muscles, life in my womb was mesmerizing in the dark of that ultrasound room.

A few minutes later, my husband and I spoke to my obstetrician about the baby. She said that their equipment was old, but that she was fairly certain that our baby boy had a cleft lip. I had read about cleft lips in biology a few years before, but I did not really know what was done for cleft babies. I was not worried. We were to go to fetal and women's center with a "million dollar ultrasound machine". Honestly, the only thing I thought was to hope for a 4D ultrasound picture for the fridge. My husband and I had no idea what we were in for when we made that appointment.

We went to the perinatal center a few days later and realized we were there with other high risk pregnancies. I started to get nervous, wondering about whether or not I would be able to breastfeed a cleft baby. Questions were forming. In fact, during the exam I asked so many questions that the tech finally had to tell me she was not allowed to answer some of them. The doctor finally came in and told us about the cleft. But then she said that he also had a problem with his kidney. They thought it might not be forming properly. I was numb as they started to talk about how the two problems were unrelated, making the likelihood of a syndrome greater. In other words, it was more likely that he had an underlying syndrome rather than just happening to have a cleft and a kidney issue.

They started looking to see if our baby's hands and fingers could clasp and unclasp. Something in my mind snapped. I shook off the numbness and shock at that point, and began to sob. I demanded their best guesses as to what was going on with our baby. They said they didn't know, but that we would need to meet with a genetic counselor. We were also recommended for an amniocentesis to get more information. It was likely that his underlying condition was bad, like Trisomy 13 or another short-lived, painful syndrome. I was gently asked about the possibility of needing an abortion. For the first time in my life, I considered it.

The next day we went back for the amniocentesis. I am terrified of needles, but in the past few years I have faced my fear and been able to have blood tests done without fainting. The doctor was bright and loving, and I trusted her when she said how good she was at very quick amniocenteses. I wasn't in the mood to smile, but I appreciated that. I had not slept much that night, speculating with my husband about what our baby might have. As the needle went into my belly, and I squeezed my husband's hand and my eyes tight shut. It was over, and I wasn't even faint. But when the doctor announced how many CCs had been taken and I went white and had to lay down. I asked questions about the genetic tests they would perform, and how long it would take for them to come back.

I hated our genetic counselor. She was perfectly nice, but did not have any answers. I knew my hatred was a mask for my fear and anxiety. I wanted to make the next 10 days go by as quickly as possible. I sobbed half the day, and did yoga in the middle of the night to calm my nerves. I still remember doing sun salutations in the dark, trying to stop weeping. We had to wait for one general set of tests, and then for another set of more specific tests. I called the genetic counselor morning, noon, and night the days the tests were supposed to be done. I was nearing 22 weeks, when the dividing line for an abortion in the state of Arizona had been drawn.

I wanted to know what my baby was facing, to know if I needed to spare him a painful, short life if he ended up having Trisomy 13, or something else equally horrific. Even if he did have a fatal syndrome, I was fairly certain that I could not go through with an abortion. The days were painfully long. I compared the mercy of an abortion for my malformed child with the difficult birth and mere months of life that he might have to endure with many painful health problems. I had no idea what I would do.

We finally heard back about our baby boy's chromosomes: they were normal. There were other, more rare syndromes and diseases we might want to check for. But the ultrasounds showed a strong heart, and one fully working kidney. The cleft was bilateral, incomplete on one side, and in the lip and palate. This was a rarer form of cleft lip and palate, and one of his kidneys had simply not formed at all. But he was thriving. Everything else looked strong and fully formed.

I was relieved. I didn't have to choose between an abortion or my baby's death at the age of 1 due to some awful syndrome. A cleft lip and single kidney was welcome indeed. I no longer had to wonder if he had something life-threatening or that would cause a terrible death at an early age, a situation that I might have considered having an abortion for.

I still do not know what I would have done if my baby had been missing a chromosome, or was found to carry a fatal sickness. But I had a choice. I had a legal, supported, dignified choice that I could make myself, alone. I had a choice that I wrestled with day and night for weeks while we had testing done. If I had chosen to have an abortion in a situation like that, it would have been out of love and out of necessity to spare our baby pain and suffering.

I am so thankful for the women at the perinatal center for giving me that option without any judgment in their voices on those first uncertain, rocky days. They did not presume to know what was best for me. They simply offered options, and support. And trust. They trusted me to know what was best for me and my baby.

I decided to keep him, of course. He beat the odds with his genetic testing, and I was spared my own Sophie's choice. He has beat the odds on many fronts. I am lucky.

I am also lucky to have the right to choose what I want to do. I have that right because I live in a country where abortion is legal. I have that right because I am a white middle-class woman with means and health insurance. I have that right because I am informed of my options. I have that privilege. Many do not. There are millions of women who, when faced with a situation similar to mine or worse, do not have the options I enjoyed.

This past week has been dramatic as we have watched a government shutdown nearly averted, all turning on the fulcrum of Planned Parenthood and it's funding. I do not wish on anyone what I went through with my youngest baby, but it will happen anyway. Sometimes it happens to women who don't have money or health insurance. Do they deserve less than I do? Do they not have the right to a legal procedure, if they need it, if they weigh their options and make a heart-breaking decision about what to do?

97% of Planned Parenthood's services are preventative: cancer screenings, yearly exams, rape services, and birth control. Planned Parenthood's services do include abortion care. But those procedures are not touched by federal money, despite all the recent headlines and spin that the budget crisis was over federal funding for abortion or just abortions themselves. The truth is that the budget war was, and is, over access to basic women's health care.

I stand with my choice to keep my baby when I found out he would not be severely ill and in pain during his life. I would have stood by my choice either way, because I would have known that I had made it while considering all sides. I stand by women who make these decisions in secret because of the stigma of abortion. I stand with Planned Parenthood. I stand with life and choices both staying in tact whenever possible. I stand with my sisters, mothers, aunts, daughters, grandmothers, and all the other women I am connected to on this planet as a war rages around their bodies. I stand with women.

(Exponent II's most recent issue has three pieces on Women and Reproductive Choice, found in the Exponent Generations feature.)

(cross-posted at The Exponent)

Things M Says (part 38)

2011-04-01T02:21:00.000-04:00

critiquing me, like a judge on Top Chef

M: "This is a really nice smoothie, probably the best one you've made so far. It's got a good flavor from the kefir and berries, and it's really cold. Overall, very delicious Mom."
me: "Um, thanks."

Possibility

2011-03-23T23:19:00.002-04:00

Last year I made a phone call to my father after not speaking to him for nearly three years. It went well at the time. I forgave him for the abuse in my childhood. However, few months later I found myself having a breakdown about it and I haven’t called him since. Two steps forward, one step back.

I was talking with a friend yesterday about that, and he pointed out that having an amazing relationship with my father is automatically tied to the fact that I have already done the hard part of forgiving him. I hadn’t really considered that until today. And now I am feeling like that might be something that I want.

How do you move forward from a place like that? How do I draw boundaries that will keep me safe, but maintain the openness that it will take to have a real relationship with my father? How do navigate a positive relationship with my former abuser as a feminist trying to heal and let go of the past?

It’s really painful to be faced with the choice of either shutting my parents out because it’s too hard to have a relationship with them, or embarking on the possibility of being hurt all over again. Of course, there’s a third possibility: that it will be different if I make it different with intention. Either way, the bottom line is that I want more than just not talking to my parents in order to cope.

Put in My Place

2011-03-13T01:09:00.000-05:00

This past Tuesday I woke up to International Women's Day feeling excited. I practiced mindfulness as I went throughout my morning routine, which was especially busy that day. I ran to various stores, banks, and dropoffs. I wanted to get done with my work and then go for a short run, listening to all my favorite female artists on my playlist in honor of the day.

As I got home from picking up my son from school, running milk and water into the house and grabbing bikes to take to the shop while my boys waited in their carseats, I noticed that Tim was at my next door neighbor's house. Tim is a neighbor from one street over, characterized by his intensity. He once found my lost keys and walked around the entire neighborhood for an hour until he found me and returned them to me. He also takes it upon himself to inform all the residents in our area of their alleged infractions of HOA rules.

In fact, just a few days before he had yelled over his fence that we weren't allowed to play in the parking lot while my son learned to ride his bike. My husband and I argued with him for a few minutes, tried to leave several times, and resolved to ignore him from then on at all costs. This was mostly because he asked for our address in a menacing way, prompting me to immediately sit up and take notice of the implicit threat in his voice. I told my husband that I did not feel safe around him after seeing him come after us so aggressively.

Growing up in abuse has made it so I can see abuse coming from a mile away. I usually go with my gut when I choose not to trust someone. I take careful inventory of if I feel threatened, belittled, or treated as "lesser-than". I joke sometimes that I grew up with master manipulators, and I am unimpressed with the efforts of some people that I meet by comparison. My neighbor Tim set off this alarm in me that day.

So here I am, a few days later, trying my best to avoid him, and finding him almost on my doorstep, literally. I was standing in my driveway, loading bikes onto the rack, trying to avoid talking to him. However, Tim saw me and immediately came up and started yelling. Now that he knew where I lived, he remembered the time he had brought me my keys.

He verbally attacked me for arguing with him, for not being nicer to him because of the keys incident, called me confrontational, said he was glad he knew where I lived now. Because he's the kind of person who talks over people and doesn't listen, I already knew I didn't stand a chance trying to reason with him again, or trying to engage him at all. He was right about everything, and he knew it. From the moment he stepped onto my driveway and into my personal space, my alarm went off full throttle. I started shaking, but kept my head and repeated these words to him, forcefully, over and over: "I don't want to talk to you", "Get off my property", "Stop talking to me", and "Leave me alone".

He spent ten minutes ignoring my request for bodily safety. He felt entitled to threaten me with his words and his proximity. He told me what to do, and how, and without a trace of irony told me how confrontational I am. He finally stepped away from me as I didn't back down. I kept shaking and got into my car as he bemoaned to my next door neighbor how awful I was. I dropped off my bikes at the shop, called the HOA to lodge a complaint, and then called my husband.

As the shock wore off, I realized that I had been harmed in a way that warranted police intervention.* I deserve to live in my house without fear of verbal attacks, or eventual physical assault (which I'm sure could happen if I talk to this man again). In fact, I owethat to my sex to stand up for myself. So I did. I have healed enough in my life to know what I deserve, and to take it.

On International Women's Day, I honored myself as a person deserving respect. I took action when I was put in my place by Tim, declaring to humanity everywhere: "No, I will not cower to this controlling man. I will defend myself and not apologize for it. I know what is right, and I will boldly stand up for myself."

I am a woman who has worked too long and hard to cower to old, sexist, aggressive neighbors. But I am a big enough person to see him for the way he is, and let it be. The greatest experience I could have had for IWD was the reminder of how some people see me. I feel closer to women all over the world because if it. And I feel stronger in my sense of self.

*I did call the police, and he was served with a trespass warning. I haven't seen him since.

(cross-posted at The Exponent)

Parmesan-Crusted Grilled Cheese Sammies

2011-03-07T22:06:00.000-05:00

We all know how to make a basic grilled cheese sandwich, bread plus cheese plus butter grilled in a pan. But wow are these fancified grilled sammies yummy! Hat tip to my sister, who makes the best crispy parmesan creations ever :)

Parmesan-Crusted Grilled Cheese Sammies

from T-Nee, my sister

2 slices of sprouted whole grain bread, like at Trader Joe's (they have several kinds--I buy the organic kind with no soy on the ingredient list)

slices of raw cheddar cheese

grass-fed butter, like Kerrygold

parmesan cheese, grated with a microplane

garlic powder

dried oregano

dried basil

1. Heat an empty cast iron skillet on medium heat while you get your sandwich ready.

2. Butter a thick layer on to each piece of bread (remember that you need the fats to digest the grains!). Sprinkle with parmesan and press to make it stick well. Sprinkle with a little garlic powder, oregano and basil. Then build the sandwich carefully in the pan with the cheddar in the middle.

3. Lower the heat to low, and cover pan with a lid. Grill until the parmesan is browned and crispy, and the cheddar is melting. Then flip and grill the other side to match. Serve with tomato soup, or in my case tonight: roasted red-pepper and tomato soup from, you guessed it, Trader Joe's!

Reflections

2011-02-17T12:07:00.001-05:00

"Love everybody, all the time, for no reason at all."

It's the time of year where wintry temperatures, even here in Arizona, evoke thoughts of quiet thoughtfulness. We look forward to warmth and spring, seeing parts of ourselves in each season of the year. I love that we cycle through four seasons every year, each shift in weather reminding us what it is like to feel hot, what it's like to sit with family during the holidays, how wonderful it is to plant seeds and watch them grow.

Growing up in the Church planted many ideas that I still carry to this day. The eternal round idea still appeals to me, even though I have left many other pieces of Mormonism behind. We have the circle of seasons, cycles of the moon, the biorhythms in our bodies. Now I interpret it differently. I think that whatever I send out with my energy, is what I get back. After all, the Earth is round, not flat.

Today also happens to be graduation day. Today, at 6:30 sharp, I will be sitting with my youth in our mentoring pair as she graduates from our ten-month program. I have regrets but I also feel gratified. Each day I spent with the community at Phoenix Youth at Risk was a leap of faith, a laboratory for change, a group therapy meeting, a magical process.

Mentoring my youth wasn't about changing her, it was about loving her without judgement. It was ten months of practicing unconditional love, remembering that she was the possibility of all possibilities. I wasn't very good at loving her. I let preconceived notions hamper me. Sometimes I could not see her. I have a problem with that. Sometimes I don't see my 5-year-old either, or my husband, or my 2-year-old. It's easy to see them as obstacles. But then I wake up, remember that they are here happening forme, not to me.

As I reflect on my Mormon upbringing, the mentoring of the last nearly-year, therapy, and meditation, I see that these are mirrors in my life showing me me. So what do I do with that? I own my shit. If I own what's mine, then I can move from there. Because it's only then that I truly see the world and people around me, without the film of my own issues blurring them from me.

"May I be filled with loving-kindness,
May I be well,
May I be peaceful and at ease,
May I be happy."
--Jack Kornfield, A Path with Heart

(cross-posted at The Exponent)

Almond Roca (sugar-free, honey-sweetened)

2011-02-02T15:08:00.001-05:00

Ever since the holidays we have been enjoying little bites of almond roca for an occasional sweet treat. This candy is very easy to make. Simple directions and a short list of ingredients make for an elegant dessert with a crunch. I make it plain, but you can melt chocolate and drizzle it on top for a more decadent version.

When I use them, I soak raw nuts and seeds in a salty brine for a day, then dehydrate them a low temperature to improve digestibility. The soaking removes enzyme inhibitors, which interfere with your body's ability to utilize the enzymes present in these raw morsels. Then the dehydrating returns them to their crispy state, but doesn't kill the enzymes that are now available for absorption in the body. It is still better to soak nuts and seeds even if you plan to roast them. The enzymes will die, but at least the enzyme inhibitors are neutralized.

Almond Roca

1 1/2 cups butter

1 cup honey

1 cup chopped almonds

1. Melt butter gently in a saucepan. Add honey while the butter melts, stirring constantly until nicely combined.

2. Using a candy thermometer, heat the mixture over medium-high heat until it reaches the "soft-crack stage" or the "hard-crack stage". Use "soft-crack" for a softer candy that bends, but then cracks into pieces when broken apart. Use "hard-crack" for a harder candy that is stiff, and doesn't bend when broken into pieces.

3. After the mixture reaches the desired temperature, stir in the chopped almonds until combined. Then immediately spread onto a jelly roll pan lined with parchment paper, or that has been buttered to cool. Let cool for 45 minutes or so. Transfer to the refrigerator to cool completely.

4. When you put your hand on the candy and cannot feel any more heat radiating from it, remove from the refrigerator to break into pieces. Remove the pan and paper. Break into any size you like.

5. You can store the candy at room temperature, but it does get a bit sticky and the pieces hold on to each other. I kept ours in the fridge until they were mostly gone, then started keeping the remainder in the cupboard. Either way I prefer to eat them at room temperature, so if you store in the refrigerator, remove about 20 minutes before you want to eat it.

This post is part of Real Food Wednesdays at Kelly the Kitchen Kop.

Comment Issues

2011-02-01T17:51:00.002-05:00

Hi readers. I have been having some formatting trouble with the comments, but for now I have at least returned it to the original options. I'll keep working on it. In the meantime, sorry about that!

M and His Butterflies

2011-01-31T17:08:00.002-05:00

M got caterpillars for Christmas. Well, he got a netted container with a voucher for caterpillars anyway. I love Amazon, and we generally buy most things through it, from grocery items to birthdays and Christmas presents. We sent away from M's caterpillars at the end of December. His caterpillars finally arrived a few weeks ago. They crawled around, tiny, eating their food for several days. They grew and grew and eventually hung from their lid, each forming a chrysalis. Then, we moved the chrysalides to the netted container and watched them every day.

A few days ago, one chrysalis turned dark and a butterfly emerged. Yesterday, two more followed. And today, the final butterfly emerged. M is the proud papa of four painted lady butterflies. M named them, in order of emergence from their pods: Iam, Isaac, Sheila and Hella. According to M, Iam and Isaac are boys, and Sheila and Hella are girls.

We have been giving the butterflies slices of orange to munch on until they were all ready to be released outside. Of course, M had to be ready too. A few minutes ago, M announced that he was ready to let them go in the backyard. We took the net outside, opened the top and gently helped them come out. They hung around the patio for a few minutes, walking around and trying out their wings. But then one took flight (we could swear it was Sheila) and we yelled "goodbye!" to her. While we prepared a plate with sugar-water and orange slices to place in the backyard, two more butterflies flew off to explore the neighborhood. M and I hope they come back to visit. Maybe they will fly by to say "hi" and have a little snack.

(I included the Amazon link above for the brand we bought. We love it, and their customer service was very nice.)

Local Eggs and Produce

2011-01-21T09:51:00.002-05:00

I get my eggs every other Saturday at the Phoenix Public Market downtown. I also always get my produce there, gathering items that cover a wide spectrum. It's good for our bodies to have variety. I love some of the heirloom varieties you can find at the different booths.

Jimmie and Celia at Chile Acres are now my friends since I started buying from them over a year ago. They treat me right, and they treat their chickens right too. Their birds (they have ducks, too) live outside on pasture, eating bugs, foraging, having garden scraps from the farm. They do have feed, but it doesn't contain any soy. When I break the eggs open, the yolks are a very dark orange. Orange means nutrition. We love these eggs!

The place I go for produce first every time at the Market is Maya's Farm. I love all their varying onions and garlics, wonderful herbs, melons, tomatoes, lettuces and the meyer lemons, oh! the meyer lemons! I also like to know that my produce is fresher and grown in mineral-rich soil, yielding more trace minerals in my foods. That's part of the reason I try to garden as much as possible too. I may even start vermicomposting after talking with my friend last night about house-hunting yesterday. We found a small three-bedroom with a pretty kickass backyard. Yay!

This post is part of Fight Back Friday at Food Renegade.

Things M Says (part 37)

2011-01-20T10:33:00.003-05:00

M, choosing a song on the iPod that R doesn't like:

R: "Can you change it? I'm not digging this song."
M, changing it to the next one: "Are you digging for this one?"

(Quick) Tomato Basil Soup with Parmesan Curls

2011-01-19T10:54:00.002-05:00

I love tomato soup. Of course, I grew up getting mine out of a can. Canned soup generally contains monosodium glutamate (MSG), vegetable oils like cottonseed, soybean, canola, safflower or sunflower (which are usually cheap, rancid byproducts of Big Ag), high fructose corn syrup, citric acid (another kind of MSG), autolyzed yeast (yet another kind of MSG), cheap iodized salt, wheat flour (which is white flour, probably "enriched" which really means "devoid of nutritional value"). But now that I know about the ingredients in canned soup, I am happy to make my own. Since I am in the habit of making my own stocks, I can usually throw a soup together in a few minutes.

I usually follow a basic Tomato Cream Soup recipe from Kim Knoch at The Nourishing Cook. She says you can throw it all together in 3 minutes, and she's right. I usually double her recipe since I have the large cans of diced tomatoes.

I DO use canned tomatoes, which are not ideal due to BPA in the linings of most canned foods. Eden Organic is the only canned food manufacturer in the States using BPA-free cans, but even they are unable to use those BPA-free cans for tomatoes. The FDA won't allow it, due to their acidity.

But until I learn how to can, and how to find the time to do it, I am calling compromise on this one. Maybe once tomatoes are in season here, I will dice them up for fresh tomato soup.

Tomato Cream Soup

28 ounce can of diced tomatoes, or tomato sauce

4 cups homemade chicken stock

1/2 cup tomato paste

1 cup cream

1 cup whole milk

sea salt and pepper to taste

1. Add all ingredients to a soup pot, blending with a stick blender to desired consistency (if you used diced tomatoes). Heat through and serve.

After I had made this basic recipe a few times, which is perfect for a cold day or for dipping grilled ham and cheese sandwiches, I wanted to make something a little different.

Tomato Basil Cream Soup with Parmesan Curls

14 ounce can of diced tomatoes

14 ounce can tomato sauce

1/2 cup tomato paste

1 cup cream

1 cup whole milk

sea salt and pepper to taste

1 tablespoon garlic powder

1 tablespoon onion powder

2-3 tablespoons dried basil (or a handful of chopped fresh basil)

parmesan cheese curls, cut with a knife or cheese slicer

1. Combine all ingredients except cheese curls into a large soup pot. Heat through, blending with a stick blender to your desired consistency. Serve in bowls with cheese curls floating on top, and with sourdough toasts and grass-fed butter or homemade crackers.

(This post is part of Real Food Wednesdays at Kelly the Kitchen Kop)

Real Food Nutrition and Health E-Course

2011-01-14T21:35:00.002-05:00

Food Renegade is one of my oft-checked real food blogs. I am getting more involved with Real Food Media and blogging here at k-land about real food, nourishing practices, and my family's health. As I build up momentum, I am inspired by the work some of these bloggers do. It's not just the beautiful websites and the wholesome recipes, it's the feeling of solidarity to have people with me in the real food arena. A lot of people doubt the veracity of Nourishing Tradition's claims, or that saturated fat really is good for you, or that our ancestors ate raw dairy, sprouted and sourdoughed grains, pastured meats and eggs.

Starting on February 4th and ending April 8th, Food Renegade's Kristen is starting an e-class, complete with e-book!, that teaches you all the basics to traditional foods. I love how Kristen puts it:

"Nutrition fascinates me. It's a blend of biology, history, chemistry. It's the story of traditional peoples and what they ate, the story of convenience foods and food manufacturing. It's the story of modern Industrial agriculture, synthetic fertilizers and pesticides, genetic engineering, and diminishing top soil while also being the story of humane animal husbandry, biodynamic farming, and a respect for life. It's the story of modern diseases like cancer, diabetes, and heart disease. Yet it also teaches about true health and aging with stamina."

I feel the exact same way. I love the intersection of learning about my ancestors and what they ate, wading through current science on nutrition, and then actually incorporating those practices into my kitchen and family menu. I already have downloaded the ebook, and I am looking forward to the course coming up in a few weeks!

Real Food Nutrition and Health E-Course

And here is a short video to introduce you to what the e-course is all about. It sounds a lot like Kristen has managed to cover all the basics. This is great way to jump in to real, whole, traditional food. Or if you already have committed, it can sharpen your understand of why we all need real food so much. Enjoy!

The Thousand-Petaled Lotus

2011-01-09T18:51:00.001-05:00

When we reach this level, the seed of our soul has sprouted from its roots in the earth, and grown upward through the elements of water, fire, air, sound, and light, and now to the source of all--consciousness itself, experienced through the element of thought. Each level brings us new degrees of freedom and awareness. Now the crown chakra blossoms forth with infinite awareness, its thousand petals like antennae, reaching to higher dimensions. --Wheels of Life by Anodea Judith, pg. 320

Last year I went to a retreat in southern Arizona, a yearly event with my husband's law firm. We get to stay in lovely hotel rooms, eat gorgeous meals, relax at the spa, and golf in spectacular surroundings. As usual, I shunned golfing and signed up for a full body massage, my favorite thing on the planet. And since my husband did not want to go to the spa, I found myself with an extra time allotment. I had never had a facial, so deciding to try something new I put myself in the schedule.

Carefully choosing the simplest line of products the spa offered, I laid back and started talking with the esthetician as she was working. Partway through our session she asked if it was okay to "work on my chakras". I tried not to roll my eyes as she got out her chakra stones, reminding myself that I did not know anything about chakras that I had not heard from skeptics or pop culture. Either way, I would have a personal experience with chakras that I could draw on for information.

The stones clinked into her hand out of the drawstring bag. She told me that if I had a chakra out of balance then I would feel the stone as being either hot or cold. She started with the Root Chakra and worked upward, setting a semi-precious stone over each one on top of the sheet that covered me. I know now that in yoga practice pranic energy in the body can activate dormant spiritual energy called Kundalini, visualized as a snake coiled up in the first (root) chakra at the base of the spine that, when roused, can move upward passing through each of the lower chakras until becoming one with Crown Chakra.

Halfway there, when we reached the Heart Chakra my skin was exposed and the stone felt cold on my skin. I internally harumphed and thought "of course it feels cold on my skin, it's a stone". Throat Chakra felt neutral. Third Eye Chakra felt neutral. After each placing of the stone, she read a small paragraph from a paper explaining what the chakra meant, what color was associated with that chakra, and which stone she was using. We had reached the final chakra.

I could not have prepared myself for what that last stone-placing would be like. She took out an amethyst and said that Crown Chakra was associated with knowledge, intelligence, and oneness. As she started talking she took the amethyst and gently drew a circle with it on the top of my head. I flinched as the stone drew that white hot disc on my scalp. The burning felt bright, like looking into the sun. I was stunned, though I did manage to explain what had just happened. The only direction I got that day was to "look into balancing your crown chakra".

Since then, I have pondered what my surprising reaction to that amethyst was. I have since been to a chiropractic appointment where my coronal suture (the top of my head) was very tight and required a shoulder and neck adjustment. And just last week I got a(nother) massage and the therapist said I have one of the tightest scalps she has ever worked with. The universe seems to be trying to send me a message: "fix your head!"

Did the amethyst just feel hot because I have tension in my scalp? Maybe. Are chakras more than they seem? Probably. I cannot deny that I have been profoundly affected by that experience, especially as it keeps resurfacing in my life. I even have a crown chakra necklace I wear most days, reminding me of my true nature. My resolutions for the new year are in a similar vein too, to increase mindfulness through daily meditation (and then tweet them under #meditation365).

I have always known that I should meditate, but I never saw the glaring need until this year. As a survivor of abuse I have a few post-truamatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms. I have noticed a correlation between my general stress levels and the severity of my symptoms. I have also noticed a correlation between managing my stress with meditation and being able to sleep well, eat well, and make progress on my weight loss goal.

Physiologically, the crown chakra relates to the brain, especially the higher brain, or cerebral cortex. Our amazing human brain contains some thirteen billion interconnected nerve cells, capable of making more connections among themselves than the number of start in the entire universe...Our brains, as instruments of awareness, are virtually limitless...From within, we access a dimension that has no locality in time and space...In other words, we carry the whole world inside our heads. --Wheels of Life by Anodea Judith, pg. 321
I will continue to find connections between my body, mind, awareness, health and spirituality. What kinds of connections have you, dear readers, found on your spiritual paths?

(cross-posted at The Exponent)

Submissions for Exponent II Spring 2011 Issue due January 15th

2011-01-05T15:39:00.001-05:00

I am writing an article for this submission. Any of my readers want to contribute?

You can check out the announcement and call for submissions here at The Exponent.

And you can read the current Winter 2010 issue here.

Real Food Resolutions

2011-01-03T15:09:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year where almost everyone makes a new year's resolution, and I am no different. I just wrote a post this morning about meditation and cleaning, two paths that I am endeavoring to take this year on 2011.

In the meantime, I have noticed that one of my favorite bloggers, Kimi over at The Nourishing Gourmet, is hosting a Nourishing Resolutions 2011 carnival today. So here I am, making my real food resolution list.

Real Food Resolutions:

For vitamin K2: Make liver once a week, or serve natto. (Either way we will be having hard cheese and Kerrygold butter almost daily.)
For B vitamins: Make a Coconut Smoothie with nutritional yeast added to it at least once a week.
For maintenance: Keep going and maintaining my current nourishing practices by making water kefir, making beet kvass, sprouting wheat for flour, soaking grains, soaking and dehydrating nuts, taking daily cod liver oil and butter oil, daily vitamin C and B complex, maca root, oregano oil, iodine from kelp, and a multivitamin.
Participate: Join in a real food carnival once a month.
Continue with my weight loss goal: Operation Lose Baby Weight. (Based on Eat Fat, Lose Fat.)

This post is part of Nourishing Resolutions 2011 Carnival at The Nourishing Gourmet.

Meditation, Drawing, Cleaning, Reading or "2 New Goals"

2011-01-03T14:59:00.001-05:00

I love making goals. I have been involved with Phoenix Youth at Risk for almost a year now. We make a LOT of goals in the program, and I have seen some amazing things pulled from deep inside me last year. I love getting out a new goal sheet and filling it out. I love the clarity I get as I create the vision at the beginning, and I love the clarity that comes after completing the steps and seeing the transformation in my life. I just love it!

I was inspired by a recent project of my friend G where she completed a drawing every day last year, called #draw365. I love the idea of doing something once a day, and how satisfying it would be to look back over the accumulation of those days by this time next year.

And then I was thinking and clicking around the internet, I got inspired by another friend mfranti to try out a #clean365 project, since I already do that most days, but it's more random and without an overlying purpose. This one doesn't stress me out, but will help me stretch a bit to feel and look more organized. So there is one goal I can make and keep, and tweet under #clean365.

Of course, after the all the drawing and cleaning thoughts I got to thinking about meditation. I am thinking that I may try a #meditation365 hashtag of my own, or maybe it already exists. I find myself meditating on my relationship with my children the most.

I had a conversation once with R when M was giving me some grief about a year ago. I joked "what would the Buddha say?" and he came back with "he would say to see The Boy's suffering". I was hit with that sentence like a ton of bricks. Ever since then I have seen my relationship with M (and E) a little more clearly.

Starting with Thich Nhat Hanh's book Peace is Every Step, I'm going to read many books on mindfulness this year, taking inspiration from them to direct my daily meditation. Upcoming books that I have been eyeing:

This will be another goal I can realistically make and keep, and even tweet daily under #meditation365.

I suppose I should mention that you can follow me on Twitter here, huh?

(Of course, I will be continuing on with my Operation Lose Baby Weight goal. I am already very comfortable taking my coconut oil three times a day, keeping my fats plentiful, nourishing, and traditional, and being patient while the weight comes off. So far I have managed to shed 5 pounds, but there is a lot more where that came from! That will be my goal until it's completed.)

Cheese and Vegetable Chowder

2010-12-28T20:50:00.000-05:00

This soup is so lovely. The vegetables are the star, but the nutrition is boosted by all the homemade stock, cream and cheese in the background. This is perfect for our family, since we are fighting off the sniffles. My E and M slurped their bowls up with gusto tonight before going to bed a little earlier than usual. I hope they heal a little as they sleep.

Read about how the healing properties of homemade bone broth here. I had a lot of stock on hand from Thanksgiving when I made turkey stock. After making a double recipe of this soup, I still have two large containers of stock left in my fridge!

(I will probably make tomato cream soup later this week, and I will post the recipe when I do. Plus, I have another turkey I need to roast soon, so I'll have even more stock to make nourishing soups with. This is very important at this time of year when our immune systems can take a beating, and we don't get as many vitamins from the sun.)

Cheese and Vegetable Chowder

4-6 tablespoons butter

1 large onion, finely chopped

1 large leek, split lengthwise and thinly sliced

2 garlic cloves, crushed

6 T. sprouted whole grain flour

5 cups chicken stock, preferably homemade

3 carrots, finely diced

2 stalks celery, finely diced

1 turnip, peeled and finely diced

several large broccoli florets, chopped

3-4 sprigs fresh thyme, or 1/8 tsp. dried thyme

1 bay leaf

1½ cups raw cream or half-and-half

10½ oz. mature raw Cheddar cheese, grated

fresh chopped parsley, to sprinkle on top

salt and pepper

Melt the butter in a large heavy-based saucepan or stockpot over a medium-low heat. Add the onion and leek. Cover and cook for about 5 minutes, stirring frequently, until the vegetables start to soften. Add the garlic and cook for 1-2 more minutes, taking care it doesn't burn.
Stir the flour into the vegetables and continue cooking for 2 minutes. Add a little of the stock and stir well, scraping the bottom of the pan to mix in the flour. Bring to a boil, stirring frequently, and slowly stir in the rest of the stock.
Add the carrots, celery, turnip, broccoli, thyme and bay leaf. Reduce the heat, cover and cook gently for about 35 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are tender. Remove the bay leaf and the thyme branches.
Add the cheese a few handfuls at a time, stirring constantly for about a minute after each addition, to make sure it is completely melted. Taste the soup and adjust the seasoning, adding salt if needed, and pepper to taste. Turn off the heat and stir in the cream until warmed through. Ladle immediately into warm bowls, sprinkle with fresh chopped parsley and serve.

Things M Says (Part 36)

2010-12-23T10:20:00.000-05:00

M: "I'm not going to spend my money from now alllllll the way until I am a grown-up."
me: "Oh yeah? What are you saving it for?"
M: "I want to go to outer space."
me: "Well, going to outer space is very expensive."
M: "So they don't have coupons for that?"

Candy-Making and Cookie-Baking Extravaganza 2010

2010-12-22T22:16:00.000-05:00

So I've been making quite a bit of progress on my Candy-Making and Cookie-Baking Extravaganza 2010! I've also taken a lot of my favorite recipes and morphed them into my favorite versions. Now they can truly be called k's. So far I have made these items:
Peanut Butter Cups
Almond Joy cups
Coconut Citrus Fudge
Homemade Eggnog (in a blender)
Maple Shortbread and Classic Shortbread

And I've made these:
Cinnamon and Vanilla Nuts (I used pecans and cashews, gonna try walnuts and almonds later today or tomorrow)
Lemon Curd Bars (we have SO MANY lemons from Ryan's parents' house)

And of course we will be having some lovely breakfasts, like:
Baked Oatmeal with Dried Fruit, Yogurt and Maple Syrup
Crepes with Berries and Cream
Blueberry Buckle (recipe coming soon!)

And back to the treats again. There are so many other recipes I want to try this week, like:
Almond Roca
Traditional Fudge
Caramel Corn
Bûche de Noël
Sugar Plums
Buckwheat Sourdoughnuts
Molasses & Cranberry Cinnamon Rolls
Sprouted Grain Doughnuts with Coconut Vanilla Glaze
Maple Sugar Candied Nuts

Homemade Eggnog

2010-12-22T11:48:00.001-05:00

As a child, I never liked eggnog. We would buy eggnog in a carton from the grocery store, but it was too thick and sweet for my liking. Now I know, from reading eggnog labels the last couple of years, that I probably didn't like the flavors of high fructose corn syrup and thickeners in store-bought eggnog.

A few years ago I tried Silknog, an eggnog-flavored soy milk. It's thinner but still has that nice holiday flavor. We drank it for a couple of years during the holidays, but in the last year I have learned about many problems surrounding soy. Soy has a very high phytic acid content, and should only be consumed in moderation and properly fermented. Good sources of fermented soy include natto, naturally fermented soy sauce, and fermented miso.

This year I have been missing my thinner, eggnog drink. So I started looking around for a real food version of eggnog using raw milk and cream, raw egg yolks (but no raw egg whites, they have enzyme inhibitors!), wholesome sweeteners like maple syrup and raw honey, and as my friend likes to call them "Christmas spices". Using this recipe as inspiration, I upped the cream and yolks and made delicious eggnog in my blender! How easy was it? VERY.

You place all the ingredients in a blender, blend them up, and then pour and serve. If you have seen the way classic eggnog is made, then you'll be impressed with this method. In the original recipes you are supposed to separate eggs, whip the whites, whip the cream, fold them in at different times, and so on. I don't have time to mess with that! And I don't want to eat the raw white anyway.

So enjoy this quick recipe. It makes delicious, healthy, homemade eggnog that has that not-too-thick texture. Even R liked it! And as R would say: "You can really taste the nog."

Homemade Eggnog

1 cup whole milk (preferably raw and grass-fed)
3/4 cup cream (preferably raw and grass-fed)
4 egg yolks (preferably pastured)
2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg (preferably freshly grated)
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
pinch of cloves
pinch of allspice
2-3 tablespoons maple syrup or raw honey (I used syrup)
dash sea salt
Bourbon, rum, cognac, to taste (optional)

1. Place everything in a blender and blend for a minute or so. Pour into glasses and garnish with another grating of nutmeg, or a stirring stick of cinnamon.

Coconut Citrus Fudge

2010-12-21T13:15:00.002-05:00

Coconut Citrus Fudge

1 cup coconut butter

2-3 tablespoons raw honey

2 tablespoons coconut oil, gently melted

1 tablespoon orange, lemon, grapefruit or other citrus zest

1 teaspoon orange, lemon, grapefruit or other citrus extract (if using oil, use a few drops)

1. In a food processor pulse coconut butter and honey until combined. Then with the processor running, add the coconut oil in a steady stream. Add zest and extract or oil, and mix until combined.

2. On a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper or wax paper, spoon mixture and form into a rectangle. Press with your hands to make the thickness even, about 1/4 inch thick. Chill for 30 minutes in the refrigerator.

3. Remove from the fridge, and lift parchment or wax paper off the cookie sheet and transfer to a cutting board. Cut into little squares or whatever bites you like.

4. You can store these in the fridge, or even on the counter in an airtight container. The coconut butter keeps it shape well, even at room temperature. And this time of year our houses are on the cooler side. Enjoy!

(Inspired by a review of Cooking to Heal by Kimi at The Nourishing Gourmet, I have made this "fudge" a few times. It is very light, very nourishing, and kid-friendly. My kids love it. I have changed it a little, mostly to incorporate more coconut oil and achieve a smoother feel.)

Joyous Almond Cups

2010-12-19T00:55:00.001-05:00

Whenever I make these peanut butter cups I always end up making these Almond Joy-esque cups as well. I use the same mini cupcake pan, the same spot in the freezer to freeze the two layers, and we end up with two flavors of cups to choose from for a sweet, but nourishing treat. This recipe is my version after being inspired, as usual, by a recipe from Kimi over at The Nourishing Gourmet.

Even more so than the peanut butter cups, these joyous almond cups have a lot of coconut oil incorporated into the recipe. Coconut oil has many benefits. Coconut oil has a lot saturated fat. But don't fear. This saturated fat is good for you. Yes you read that right. The saturated fat in coconut oil is comprised of medium chain fatty acids, 50% of which are the fatty acid lauric acid. Medium chain fatty acids are more easily digested, reducing strain on the liver, pancreas, and digestive system. Coconut oil benefits a sluggish thyroid by this same logic: it takes less energy to digest coconut oil, freeing up your thyroid to heal and function better. Coconut oil helps with energy levels and weight loss. Coconut oil heals you from the inside out.

So when you wonder why I go through all the trouble of researching coconut oil, finding different kinds of coconut oil, and then incorporating it into my diet despite my lack of love for it's flavor, this is why. I feel better when I have it in my daily diet. I know the science behind it and am more than happy to have it's help healing my body.

Now let's get back to the treat part. I make these either with or without chopped almonds. Sort in the vein of sometimes feeling like a nut...But when I do add the nuts I make sure they are from my soaked and dehydrated stash. Soaking nuts overnight in salt water helps neutralize the naturally-occuring enzyme inhibitors present in most nuts. Then dehydrating them returns them back to their crispy state. The almonds I used in this recipe were soaked, dehydrated, and then toasted for 20 minutes at 300 degrees just to bring out their flavor a little before I chopped them and added them in.

Joyous Almond Cups

coconut base:

1/2 cup gently melted coconut oil

1/4 cup gently melted raw honey

1 1/4 cups unsweetened, shredded coconut

1 1/2 teaspoons almond extract

1/2 cup chopped almonds, preferably soaked and dehydrated, then toasted for 20 min. at 300 degrees

chocolate topping:

1/2 cup cocoa powder

3 tablespoons raw honey

3/4 cup coconut oil

2 teaspoons vanilla

1 teaspoon coffee liqueur

1. Make coconut base: Combine melted coconut oil and raw honey. Whisk well to combine. Add shredded coconut and almond extract.

2. Using a small ice cream scoop, divide among 24 mini cupcake molds. Sprinkle each one with a little of the chopped almonds, dividing evenly. Place in the freezer on a level surface for 30 minutes to harden.

3. In the meantime, make chocolate topping: combine cocoa powder, honey, and coconut oil in a glass bowl set over simmering water. Whisk until coconut oil is almost completely smooth. Remove from heat and continue whisking, adding vanilla and coffee liqueur.

4. Remove frozen coconut bases, and spoon a little of the chocolate topping on each cup. Place back in the freezer for another 30 minutes until frozen and set.

5. To remove, pop out with a spoon or butter knife immediately after removing from the freezer. Store in the freezer, or else they will melt. To eat, I like to remove from the freezer and let sit for a few minutes to soften. Enjoy with cold, whole raw milk, yum!

Peanut Butter Cups

2010-12-18T00:45:00.003-05:00

I love these peanut butter cups. I made them last February for R for Valentine's Day. I wrote the other day about looking for candy for Christmas at the store, but coming up empty. Even in my compromising mindset I couldn't find anything that would work. So I am making a few different candies and confections to help satisfy M's and E's sweet teeth on that magical morning.

But back to the peanut butter cups. I have tweaked the recipe just a bit. I watch Ina Garten on the Food Network quite a bit, and on her show Barefoot Contessa she occasionally shows how she tests recipes. Ever since she explained how chocolate is enhanced by a little bit of coffee I have been paying attention to how she pairs them in different recipes. She says that you do not end up tasting the coffee, but the chocolate tastes better.

Sometimes she uses leftover brewed coffee, sometimes it's instant coffee or espresso granules, and sometimes it's coffee liqueur. I have Kahlua, so I have used that recently in any chocolate recipe I make. I just eyeball between a teaspoon and a tablespoon. I don't know enough about how they make instant coffee crystals to use them confidently, and I don't brew coffee at home. (The caffeine affects my adrenals and such.)

Oh, and one last thing: after I use up the natural peanut butter in the jars in my fridge I want to make my own peanut butter. It's very handy to have peanut butter around, so I think it's worth the trouble to soak peanuts in salt water, dehydrate them and then put them through the food processor. The point of doing all of that is to avoid the enzyme inhibitors present in peanuts and nuts in general. The soaking process neutralizes the enzyme inhibitors, helping you to not only digest them better but absorb more nutrients from the nuts.

Peanut Butter Cups

peanut butter base:

3/4 cup natural peanut butter, preferably from soaked and dehydrated peanuts

1/4 cup gently melted coconut oil*

2 tablespoons raw honey

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/3 cup chopped nuts, preferably soaked/dehydrated/roasted at a low temperature (300), optional**

chocolate topping:

4 oz. unsweetened chocolate, chopped

2 tablespoons raw honey

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 teaspoon coffee liqueur

1. Mix peanut butter and coconut oil together until smooth, using a rubber spatula. Add honey and vanilla and stir until smooth. Using a small ice cream scoop, divide among the 24 mini cupcake molds in a mini cupcake pan. Put into the freezer for 20 minutes or so while you make the chocolate topping.

2. In a glass bowl set over a pot of simmering water, stir chocolate, honey, vanilla and coffee liqueur with a wooden spoon until almost smooth. Remove from the pot and set onto a hot pot holder while you continue to stir until completely smooth.

3. Remove mini cupcake pan from freezer and spoon chocolate mixture onto each peanut butter cup, smoothing a little with the back of a spoon. Place back into the freezer until solid, about 20 minutes or more.

4. Remove with a spoon or butter knife. They should pop out with a little elbow grease, as long as they are completely solid. If they mush together at all, put them back into the freezer for a few minutes and try again. Store in the freezer until you want to eat them.

5. To eat, I like to take a few out and let them rest on a plate for a few minutes to soften. And, of course, my favorite way to eat them is with a cold glass of whole, raw milk. Enjoy.

*You can use virgin coconut oil (which will taste like coconut), or expeller-pressed coconut oil (which will have neutral taste). I prefer the expeller-pressed, but I have tried it both ways and the coconut flavor does work in this recipe.

**(I didn't add these, E can't chew them very well; he choked on a swiped cashew yesterday when I wasn't looking, scary!)

My New Quest: Make My Own Candy for Christmas

2010-12-14T22:15:00.000-05:00

I was at Trader Joe's today, one of my favorite places to go. I had grand plans to buy some candies there to use for stocking stuffers. I remembered from last year that there was a lot of variety. So I was excited. However, that did not pan out the way I wanted it to.

First of all, I could not find a single piece of chocolate without soy lecithin in it. The reason I am avoiding soy is due to it's effect on hormone levels, not to mention it is usually genetically modified. Then I looked at some jelly beans and cookies. They contained soy flours, corn syrup, and soybean/sunflower/canola oils. Is it so much to ask for foods made with recognizable ingredients? I just want whole grain flour, butter, whole sugar, natural flavors. Sheesh.

But then I remembered these chocolate macadamias sprinkled with sea salt from last year, which I have still not attempted. But I did make peanut butter cups and coconut-chocolate mounds this year for Valentine's Day and they were wonderful. I also have loved this coconut-orange fudge recipe. At least I know I can make those from experience and try some new recipes too. I can make a few kinds of candies and then put them in a cute package for each of our stockings.

I also have an excellent pair of shortbread recipes that I need to whip up. It's a good thing I started sprouting some white wheat berries tonight. I even found recipes for basic chocolate fudge, caramel corn, and these almond cookies! Maybe something that looks similar to this Nature's Candy Box idea. It really is worth it to me. I'm going to do it, dammit!

I may even try to convert some of my old favorites into nourishing versions and see how it goes. I really love these cookies, and these sugar cookies, and these peanut butter cup cookies, and these checkerboard cookies, and these mexican wedding cookies. I want to have all of them again. Wish me luck, I will be blogging my success!

My Banishing Ceremony

2010-12-12T02:45:00.000-05:00

(We are thrilled to announce that kmillecam has agreed to join Exponent as a new perma. Welcome! She is a feminist, dancer, reader, wife, liberal, real foodie, abuse survivor, activist, yogi, green, pilates-loving, EWG-reading mama. Her two little boys keep her days busy, along with her quest for living life fully awake. In addition to guest posting at Doves & Serpents, and sharing here at The Exponent, she blogs about real food and abuse survivorship at her personal blog k-land.)

The day after the full moon, or the first day of the waning moon, is the day reserved for banishing rituals. It's a time to remove obstacles and release those patterns in our lives that no longer serve us.

I have been thinking about motherhood and the full moon. I feel the brokenness of my maternal line back to my ancestors, how my own mother is a void in my life. My grandmother died earlier this year. I sat on her grave a few weeks ago, under a tree, on the edge of the cemetery. I spoke to her and kissed the stone that covered her. I did sun salutations, felt the grass and the sun warming my face and torso. I cried, felt connected to her, all without any answers about the next life.

At Phoenix Youth at Risk we set soul-shaking goals. My first goal was to do the Forgiveness Process with my father who sexually and physically abused me when I was a child. After I completed that goal via several weeks preparation and a lot of outside support, I got to thinking about my mom.

My mom most likely suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder. I had been so distracted by the obvious abuse in my life from my father, that I had not been able to understand why my own mother never knew how to love me. Until now. Why did she require my emotional sacrifice as she treated me like an appendage to her broken life? Why couldn't I make her realize what she was doing to me, and what she continues to do?

On a weekend this past October, I decided it was time to have my banishing ceremony. I did not banish my mother, I banished my toxic beliefs and patterns that I got from her. The mother I have always wanted doesn’t exist. I released the fantasy of finding her. I let go of hoping she would change. I wanted no more expectations. I released and let go.

The night before my ceremony, I stood in the moonlight of my front yard for a solitary full moon ceremony. I cried under the moon, my constant comfort in the sky. I directed the energy from the moon to my heart center. I pressed my hands to my heart, and talked to the moon about how I wanted to feel right and focused during my banishing ceremony the following night. I realized then that even though my mom-link is missing in my life, the moon is always there. The Goddess is my source of strength. I am a goddess. The moon is my mother. I am a mother. I am a good mother.

My banishing ceremony the next day was beautiful. I met with friends and family, most importantly my husband and children, to light candles to the four directions under the bright, misty moon. We held hands and stood together in a circle. I read my thoughts about my mother, and I offered up the papers of journaling I had been saving. Everyone took a slip of paper to write a personal issue to release into the flame of the center candle.

We burned our conflicts, our negativity, our unhealthy attachments. We healed together. Since that night I have felt catharsis and emotional upheaval. I feel so much better and yet I feel the exhaustion of healing from deep, emotional work. I still think of the brick circle in my front yard I stood in alone under the full moon. I still think of the circle we created under the waning moon at the park, as we held hands and listened to each other.

The circle is never-ending, reminding us of the cycle of life. My ceremony is over and the circle is undone, but never broken.

(cross-posted (last month) at The Exponent)

On Fat Acceptance

2010-12-12T02:38:00.002-05:00

It remains a radical act to be a fat and happy woman in America. If you're fat, you're not only meant to be unhappy, but deeply ashamed of yourself, projecting at all times an apologetic nature, indicative of your everlasting remorse for having wrought your monstrous self upon the world. You are certainly not meant to be bold, or assertive, or confident—and should you manage to overcome the constant drumbeat of messages that you are ugly and unsexy and have earned equally society's disdain and your own self-hatred, should you forget your place and walk into the world one day with your head held high, you are to be reminded by the cow-calls and contemptuous looks of perfect strangers that you are not supposed to have self-esteem; you don't deserve it. Being publicly fat and happy is hard; being publicly, shamelessly, unshakably fat and happy is an act of both will and bravery.
--Melissa McEwan at Shakesville, on Fat Hatred

I am fat. This is not my way of fishing for a compliment. It is just the truth. I have had two babies in five years and the second baby was nearly more than my body could handle. Having my baby E caused my hormones to get imbalanced, which caused my adrenals and thyroid to work overtime, which caused my weight gain and subsequent inability to shed the pounds. I did not know the cause at the time of my pregnancy. I was very mystified when I would eat normal portions of food and still balloon out as if eating twice as much as usual.

I am very lucky to have found out the cause of my weight gain. With increased awareness of my body, and by taking care to rebuild my adrenal and thyroid function, I have been able to drop a few pounds in the last month. I have found that weight loss has to do with reducing my stress, eating healthy fats, mindfulness while eating a meal, and accepting who I am.

As I stayed fat for the last 2 years or so, I started to notice that I was being treated differently. People seemed sorry for me that I was just so fat. People seemed angry with me that I just could not lose that weight. People seemed to think that it was such a shame that I had so severe a personal failing that I couldn't starve myself enough to lose the baby weight within the acceptable time frame after giving birth to E. I started to believe that something was wrong with me, that I really lacked self-control or I would be thin again.

But the bottom line is that I am still ME, fat or thin. Realizing that I still had worth even though I am fat, has been a huge victory for me. We are constantly bombarded with images of what is acceptable for women. Fat men can be jolly, even sexy and desirable if they are funny and endearing. But fat women are just gross. They need to get their act together and start looking good again. Fat women have no business being sexy, or wanting full relationships, or being happy. Fat women are expected to hang their heads in shame that they dare to be fat without apologizing for it.

Being fat in society is not easy. Thin privilege is all around us. If you are thin, you enjoy the privilege of eating whatever you like without anyone commenting on your portions. You can feel happy without anyone shaming you. You can go to the doctor without being belittled for your mass. You don't have to brace yourself for any dirty looks or comments when you eat food in public. You don't have to defend your very existence in the face of outright hatred, simply because of how you look.

I hate how I am treated now that I am fat. Remember, I have been thin before. I know how differently I am treated now. In my fat body is the same brain, the same personality, the same wit, the same capability that I have always had. In fact, it is that brain and capability that has aided me in tenaciously figuring out my body in the face of so much disdain from the society around me.

In spite of being considered subhuman, I have learned to love myself now in all my fat glory. I will love myself when I am thin again too, albeit with a wiser understanding of the privilege it will bring.

(cross-posted at The Exponent)

Blogging at The Exponent

2010-12-12T02:02:00.001-05:00

I was recently added as a permablogger at The Exponent. I am very happy with my monthly contribution on the schedule. Go ahead, click the link and see my cute little kmillecam picture over there. I'm so excited!

My first post was last month about My Banishing Ceremony. And today was my second official blog post: On Fat Acceptance. I was feeling particularly open and candid today when I wrote my essay. So there I am, laying my (very tender) thoughts out. So far so good. I have been happy to read a lot of comments over there that are happy to be having a conversation about such an oft-overlooked subject. Which is funny, because we all struggle in some way with body image.

My decision to permablog there has been a stretch for me. I question my writing abilities, and it is hard for me to meet deadlines without feeling like I am incapable. But after I made a goal to write more and commit myself to writing deadlines, the fear has gotten better. Making a goal isn't something that I just think of either. I'm talking sit-down-and-make-a-goal-by-writing-specifics-on-a-goal-sheet-in-a-Phoenix-Youth-At-Risk-way kind of a goal. This kind of goal starts with a personal declaration, details daily and weekly steps, and outlines clear outcomes. This kind of a goal should scare you a little, make you stretch, make you grow. These goals, and the support of my PYAR community, have allowed me to approach some intense issues over the last several months.

One previous goal was to get a measure of catharsis with my mom. I did that with my banishing ceremony, the same ceremony I blogged about here and on The Exponent for my perma debut. Another previous goal was to do the forgiveness process with my dad. I called him and forgave him for abusing me. It was very powerful. That was the first time this year that I thought about consciously facing fears. When I told her about this, a friend of mine said something I will never forget: "every time I notice that I am afraid to do something, I have to do it".

So that brings me to writing and blogging. I fear rejection. I don't want to be an out-of-practice stay-at-home mom trying to write, but failing. But then I realized that in order to write well...I have to write! Now I have embraced writing. I will blog at The Exponent once a month. I will continue to blog here and work on clarity and quality. I will even write for the Exponent publication and have my name in print. This is all part of my grand plan to return to school and my career path when E gets a bit older.

So, go and read my feminist thoughts at The Exponent. Maybe you can comment and let me know what you think. :)

Things M Says (Part 35)

2010-12-10T18:04:00.000-05:00

earlier today, for the millionth time:

M: "Mom, we're going to make popsicles, right?"
me: "No, and if you say 'popsicles' again you will go to time out. Don't ask me again."

just now:

M (very concerned and upset): "Mom. I feel like saying 'popsicles' again."
me, bursting out laughing: "It's okay buddy, I know you really really want to make them! But we can't, we don't have frozen berries."
M (feeling much better after seeing me laugh): "Okay, we will make them another day." (and then, overcome with love and relief after realizing, again, that I'm not mad) "Mom, I love you SO MUCH!"

I've lost...

2010-12-09T13:01:00.001-05:00

...8 pounds since starting my Eat Fat, Lose Fat goal. When I started this goal in September, I think I was eating too much food for my body to shed extra pounds. So I have shaved each meal down a little, paying closer attention to when I am full. The reduced calories allow me to feel hungry between meals, something I am learning to even enjoy. By the time I am hungry, boil water to melt my 2 tablespoons of coconut oil, take the coconut oil "tea", and then wait 20 minutes to eat my meal, I am already slowing down more than I used to to really think about what I am going to eat, and how much.

This mindfulness has come hand in hand with increased meditation and self-awareness. Savoring the textures and flavors of my meal is more pleasant now that I am not rushing through it. When you have little boys you are watching over at home, it's easy to get caught in the hurry hurry hurry of keeping them on time to school, fed, dressed, and happy. I am finding more quiet moments with them, where I am not off to the next thing, but simply being with them.

I don't finish my food if I am not hungry. I save it for the next meal, which helps me feel good about myself, frugal, and not wasteful. I am more in touch with how my body is feeling, what I really need. I have to believe that this will also affect my adrenals and thyroid.

My body has gotten to a point after three pregnancies, two births, 2 full years of breastfeeding, reaching 30, dealing with PTSD from my abusive childhood, and stress where my adrenals and thyroid are barely hanging on. My hormone levels are all wacky, I am tired all the time, I cannot lose weight with normal eating, and I do not feel like myself. However, after nearly one year of real food, I think I am finally starting to heal.

It was last December that I was going to wean E, because the thought of pumping my breastmilk and feeding him bottles beyond his first birthday was simply more than I could emotionally handle. I had read Nourishing Traditions, and I knew what our food should be like; but it's difficult to change all your habits at once. Knowing that real food commitment would help the health of the whole family (but especially E with his health problems) was the push I needed.

Fortunately, I was one year ago when I was ready to fully embrace real food-dom. We started buying raw milk, switched to only grass-fed and pastured meats, dairy, cheese, butter and eggs, took cod liver oil every day, soaked our grains, and even started eating organ meats (liver, yum!). We kept eating our local, organic produce, remaining supportive of our AZ farmers and sustainably-minded. It hasn't been that hard, I promise :)

So now I am looking at this December, knowing so much more about what is going on inside my body than I ever have before. I hope to continue slowly dropping pounds as my adrenals and thyroid heal. I am reading a book about how to heal adrenal fatigue and thyroid problems called The Mood Cure. I was already doing a lot of things right, but with the help of the book I have been able to pinpoint what specific symptoms I have. For example, by taking 5-HTP this week my mood has improved and my energy levels are up.

As I read it seems that a lot of my questions are finding answers. More on that to come as I blog more this week about adrenal fatigue and thyroid function. For today simply celebrate my 8-pound-loss victory with me!

My Antibiotics Perspective

2010-11-30T22:17:00.000-05:00

If you can manage, try not to take antibiotics. It's better for your immune system to fight off infection by itself. I have heard it explained like this: when we take antibiotics for every sickness, we are trading the long term benefit of a healthy immune system for the short term benefit of feeling better "today". You should be able to manage avoiding antibiotics generally if you eat well, sleep well, and make your health a priority.

For example, I have daily: fermented cod liver oil, raw B vitamin complex, 5-HTP, maca root, local and pastured eggs, raw and whole milk, Kerrygold butter, fresh produce, lacto-fermented veggies (pickles, carrots, sauerkraut), raw cheese, kefir water, kvass, and some kind of pastured or grass-fed meat.

But sometimes you can't keep your immune system up, no matter your attention to diet, exercise, stress and sleep. And sometimes it doesn't matter how many probiotics you take or eat, it's not enough to fight off infection. I eat very well, and I make sleep and health a priority. But I still got VERY sick over the weekend.

I try to always remind myself that there are many variables at play when it comes to optimum health. Environmental toxins around me that can take their toll, from plastics to pollution. Generations of family before me ate margarine, Crisco, lots of vegetable oils (canola, safflower, soybean), battery chickens, white flour, white sugar, CAFO beef and pork, and believed that saturated fat was "bad". The last two or three generations have been fed these kinds of lies for years now.

I had been taking care of a sick M for 5 days when I got sick. Couple that with my recent hormone, adrenal, and thyroid issues, and being a little more stressed than usual by making pies and such for Thanksgiving, and I came down with a sore throat.

That sore throat was brutal, but I fought it off after three days. I felt better for several hours, but that night I came down with a very painful ear infection, with a bit of hearing loss, and tender mastoid bones (behind the ear). I fought that off after a day or so, but then I relapsed again with renewed throat pain, and now two sore ears with hearing loss and a LOT of pressure and pain in the mastoid area. Here I was on day five, backsliding and in as much pain as when I was in labor with E.

Full disclosure, I was mad that I couldn't fight this off. I had done everything I could think of to combat my sickness. I went to bed early, I took care of my stress levels, I used my neti pot three times a day, I drank mullein tea, I drank fenugreek tea, I put coconut oil in my ears, I gargled with salt water three times a day, I took Emergen-C, I took extra cod liver oil, vitamin C, B complex, maca root, zinc, I drank extra kefir and water, I washed my hands and took warm showers. But it wasn't enough. I almost fought it off twice, but it wasn't quite enough.

I admit that I cried quite a few times as I waited for my pain relievers to kick in on Sunday, and hoped I would make it to Monday and feel a miraculous change. Instead, I was up all night in pain waiting to go to the doctor at the crack of dawn to break down and beg for antibiotics and narcotics. Yes, it was that bad.

So I did. By the time I got my hands on antibiotics, pseudoephedrine (yes, it was that bad), and acetaminophen with codeine (again, yes, it was THAT bad), I was still unable to move for about 8 hours after taking my first dose. Every time I moved my head would throb and I would weep from how painful it was. My saint of a MIL came over to clean my kitchen, make us dinner, and take M to the doctor (he was diagnosed with strep throat and had also started to backslide like I was.) We were a sorry lot yesterday.

Antibiotics are truly amazing. I am a different person today than I would have been without them. I could have been hospitalized if I didn't get this infection under control. Keep that in mind when you try to avoid antibiotics, and don't take it too far. Sometimes your body loses the battle, and you need a little help. Just make sure to have lots of probiotic food during and after your round of antibiotics. I am eating a lot of naturally fermented pickles, and drinking the juice to boot! I am also trying to drink lots of of kvass and kefir, more than I usually do.

I feel so much better, and I'm happy to have the wisdom of both modern medicine and the traditional, whole foods of my ancestors.

Real Jumbleberry Pie

2010-11-24T17:05:00.001-05:00

I made my sprouted flour pie crusts last week, the recipe is here. I pulled some out of the freezer this morning, rolled them out and made my favorite pie: jumbleberry. Enjoy!

Jumbleberry Pie Filling

Mix together:
5 cups of berries--I eyeballed equal amounts of strawberries, blueberries, blackberries and raspberries
3/4 cup rapadura (or Sucanat, maple sugar, palm sugar)
1/3 cup sprouted wheat flour
2 tsp. lemon zest (optional) (I forgot this)

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. When ready to roll out, pull ONE flattened ball out of fridge and roll on a lightly floured surface with a rolling pin. Have your pie dish ready so you can properly estimate how large to roll your dough. When dough round is the right size, use your rolling pin to move it by rolling your dough around the rolling pin like a scroll and gently transferring it to unroll over the dish. Ease it into the dish and press down flush.
2. Pour filling into pie. Set aside.
3. Take out remaining ball of pie dough from fridge. Roll out on a floured surface, not as big as the last round since it only needs to be on top of the pie. Transfer over to filled pie. Press edges together with fingers. Cut excess off of edges of pie with a sharp knife. Press edges again with a fork, dipped in a little flour if sticking to pie dough edge. Poke decorative holes into top of pie with sharp knife. Brush entire top of pie with whole milk. Sprinkle with coarse sugar (I used a little turbinado sugar I am trying to get rid of; you could use rapadura, but it would look darker). Cover edges with foil to prevent over-browning.
4. Bake for 25-50 minutes, longer for frozen berries. Then remove foil and let bake completely uncovered for another 20-30 minutes or so until the pie looks perfectly brown. Cool on a wire rack.
(Serve with real whipped cream sweetened with rapadura, or homemade vanilla ice cream made with raw milk and raw cream. Yum!!!)

Pie Crust

2010-11-19T23:25:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year to make pie! Complete with rapadura instead of sugar and sprouted wheat flour instead of white flour, this pie crust is a hit among the my family, even those not avoiding sugar or white flour.

I say this is a nourishing pie because if you buy grass-fed butter (like Kerrygold) it is full of vitamin K2. You can google vitamin K2 and get a lot of information about it, but I like these two links here (basic K2 info) and here (list of vitamin K2-rich foods).

The rapadura is full of nutrients because it is the only form of sugar processed without ever being separated from the molasses. It is considered a whole food.

Sprouted flour is neutralized of it's phytic acid, so you can absorb all the good trace elements in the grain like calcium, magnesium, etc. You can buy sprouted flour or make your own.

Double Pie Crust

3 cups sprouted wheat flour
3 and 1/4 sticks (26 Tablespoons) of grass-fed butter, cut into small pieces, very cold, preferably straight from the fridge
1 teaspoon sea salt
2 Tablespoons rapadura (or Sucanat, maple sugar, palm sugar)
3/4 cup ice water

1. Make pie dough: Mix flour, salt and sugar with a whisk in a bowl to sift.
2. Take butter out of the fridge and sprinkle small pieces over flour mixture. Using a combination of a pastry cutter and your hands (or just your hands), cut in the butter until the crumbs are between the size of peas and olives. You can also use a stand mixer with the whisk attachment, or a food processor. Add ice water a little at a time, blending with your hands, until the dough comes together.
3. Lay out two pieces of plastic wrap and put half of your pie dough on each. Using your hands and the plastic wrap, form each pile into a ball, then flatten into a disk and wrap up tightly. Chill in the fridge for 30 minutes. Or, store in the freezer up to a month. To use, transfer to the refrigerator a few hours before you want to roll it out and use it.

Vote NO on S. 510

2010-11-19T10:39:00.001-05:00

The FDA already wields too much power. In theory, they could use that power to protect our rights to good, whole, raw, local, organic, traditional foods. Instead, they let the money talk. They support the interests of Monsanto and other huge companies who tend to screw up basic foods like meat and eggs. Remember all those meat recalls? Remember when that dirty-egg company got away with dangerous safety standards? We, as consumers, pay the price.

The FDA should be protecting our interests, but they do not. Don't be fooled by their doublespeak as they talk about "food safety". We know the truth. When we can talk to the farmers we buy food from, we have control over what we put into our bodies. If that option is taken away, we have no choice but to wonder if the eggs at the supermarket are dangerous. We don't know where they came from, and the FDA has shown no interest in making sure large food corporations pay the price for their bad food.

Urge your senators to vote NO on S. 510. Urge your state representatives to vote NO on S. 510.

If this bill passes, your local foods sources will be hit. Have you noticed that the real food movement has been gaining momentum? We consumers have been demanding better food. We have been demanding to know where it comes from, and if good practices are in place. Don't let the FDA take that from us. It's our right. It will only take a few minutes to write a small paragraph or two to your state senators and representatives. We will rise up!

Lunch: Green Salad w/ Leftover Chicken, Tomato, Onion, Kefir

2010-11-17T16:01:00.000-05:00

I didn't get hungry for lunch until nearly noon, and then I was busy so I didn't take my coconut oil until closer to one. Then I made this salad, poured my kefir, and by then I wasn't starving anymore. I ate my salad calmly and now I sit here satiated but with fewer calories in my belly than usual. I hope this works and I start losing some pounds again.

Coconut Oil: 2 tablespoons taken in hot water with squeeze of orange.
Lunch:

2 cups greens, 1/2 cup leftover shredded chicken, one diced tomato, 1/4 - 1/2 diced onion, 2 tablespoons Basic Salad Dressing
1 cup strawberry water kefir

Water Kefir

2010-11-17T15:58:00.001-05:00

Water Kefir

1 package hydrated kefir grains

1/2 cup organic sugar

1-2 tablespoons molasses

1 pastured egg shell, rinsed clean

1 cup diced fruit

Note: do not use tap water, it will kill your kefir grains; do not use Brita water, it doesn't remove flouride and other toxins that can kill your kefir grains

1. Fill a half gallon glass jar with filtered water. Now pour a little of the water out into a saucepan and bring to a boil. Turn off heat and add sugar to boiling water, stirring until sugar dissolves, and then pour sugar-water back into the jar to fill it up again.

2. Add molasses to the jar of water and stir with a wooden spoon to mix in. Gently add water kefir grains and egg shell.

3. Cover with a dish towel or cheesecloth to keep out dust and bugs and so the kefir can breathe.

4. Let sit on the counter for 1-2 days. Then, pour contents through a strainer into a new jar. Discard egg shell. Reuse kefir grains for your next batch.

5. With the strained kefir in the new jar, you can now choose a fruit to flavor the kefir. I like using strawberries. Add diced fruit to kefir jar, cover again, and let sit at room temperature for 1 more day.

6. Remove cover and replace with a screw top lid. Leave at room temperature for a couple of hours to build up fizziness. Place in refrigerator to stop the fermentation process.

Breakfast: Fried Egg, Bacon, Orange, Milk

2010-11-17T15:53:00.000-05:00

In my previous post I mentioned that I haven't been losing weight the last few weeks. The recipes I have posted from Eat Fat, Lose Fat so far on k-land have been Phase 1 recipes, so today I am starting to post Phase 2 recipes. Breakfast isn't so much a recipe as a list of foods.

Coconut Oil and FCLO (taken 20 minutes before breakfast): 2 tablespoons coconut oil taken in hot water and a squeeze of orange, and 2 capsules fermented cod liver oil.
Breakfast:

1 fried egg
2 slices nitrate-free, pastured bacon (Trader Joe's carries uncured (nitrate-free) Niman Ranch (pastured) bacon for $4.69/12 oz.--it's the best deal I have found)
1/2 grapefruit w/ Coconut Sprinkles (I had a plain orange instead)
one cup raw, whole milk

I was worried that I would be hungry and grouchy after eating less in the morning, but this has been a pretty good breakfast. I wasn't feeling hungry until about noon, so that was a nice surprise.

(I did end up being grumpy, but that is more to do with my crazy morning. I drove all over the place to get R somewhere and then to work, pick up my Azure Standard order that was a day late due to truck trouble, and pick up raw milk, all while getting M to and from school on time. Argh!)

Moving to Phase 2

2010-11-17T15:06:00.000-05:00

Phase 2 recipes in Eat Fat, Lost Fat are slightly lower in calories, but still offer nutrients and healthy fats. Since I have plateaued and even gained a pound or two the last couple of weeks, I have decided that it is time. Phase 1 didn't cut it, so Phase 2 here I come! I will NOT be keeping this baby weight on any more, I'm done.

Lunch: Green Salad w/ Chicken, Strawberries, Milk

2010-11-12T15:46:00.001-05:00

I haven't posted any recipes lately, because I have been recycling through many of them I have already posted here. But today I can put up my lunch because it was so easy. I'll get around to posting last night's roast chicken over onions and potatoes later :)

Coconut Oil and FCLO: two tablespoons taken melted in hot water and lemon, two capsules fermented cod liver oil (because I forgot at breakfast!)
Lunch:

Leftover Vegetable Soup (will post recipe tomorrow)
Green Salad with Leftover Roast Chicken, shredded raw cheddar, celery, carrots, and Homemade Basic Dressing
Handful of strawberries
Beet Kvass
Raw Milk

Green Salad w/ Leftover Chicken

serves one

handful salad greens

one carrot, peeled and sliced

one rib celery, sliced

leftover chicken, shredded

handful shredded cheese

Basic Salad Dressing

1. Layer in a bowl: greens, carrots and celery, chicken, cheese, dressing. Salad for one, real food style!

Beet Kvass

2010-11-12T15:46:00.000-05:00

Beet Kvass

2-4 beets, peeled, and cut in a large dice

1/4 cup whey

1 tablespoon sea salt

1. Place beets into a half gallon glass jar. They should fill the jar about 1/3 of the way up. Add whey and salt. Add water to fill the jar.

2. Cover with a cloth to keep bugs and dust out, leave at room temperature for 2 days.

3. Using a strainer, remove diced beets from kvass. Then using a screw top lid, transfer to the refrigerator to stop the fermentation process.

Basic Salad Dressing

2010-11-12T15:41:00.002-05:00

Basic Salad Dressing

1 cup olive oil (I use Chaffin Family Farms from CA, it's very mild and buttery)

1/2 cup raw apple cider vinegar (I use Bragg's)

1 teaspoon onion powder

2-3 tablespoons whole grain mustard

3-4 cloves minced garlic

1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

1/2 teaspoon dried basil

1 teaspoon sea salt (I use Celtic Grey Sea Salt)

1. Add ingredients in order to a jar or salad dressing shaker. Shake together to emulsify and pour over salads. Store in the refrigerator.

Rogue Cinema: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

2010-11-12T10:24:00.000-05:00

I am crazy about this new website called Doves & Serpents. The pictures and posts are beautiful and thoughtful. The writers are amazing, and the comments are always fun to read. I love it over there!

I especially love their Rogue Cinema column on Fridays. A movie schedule is up so that you can watch a film every Friday and then read and comment on the film's review. I suggested we watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind in comments, one of my favorite films of all time. Lo and behold, I was asked to write the review myself. How exciting!

Yesterday I finished my contribution, and this morning it went up officially. I love cultivating my writing this way. It's fun, and I push myself at the same time.

You can read my review here: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Please go comment so I don't go crazy wondering why no one is commenting :D

Real Food Media Keeps Getting Hacked

2010-11-08T13:43:00.000-05:00

I usually have a Real Food Media widget over on the right sidebar of my blog. But this morning I was told to take it down because hackers have attacked Real Food Media for the fourth time in the last few weeks. Ann Marie over at CHEESESLAVE is the major force behind the Real Food Media machine. I really feel for her as she has been dealing with this the last several weeks. The real food movement won't be derailed, we will keep going.

Pumpkin Cake with Sweetened Cream and Chopped Hazelnuts

2010-11-06T22:13:00.000-04:00

I made this pumpkin cake last Tuesday, because I just HAD to have something pumpkiny. It fit the bill!

Pumpkin Cake

2 sticks unsalted grass-fed butter, softened, plus more for baking dish

3 1/3 cups sprouted whole grain flour

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon ground allspice

1 teaspoon sea salt

1 teaspoon (non-aluminum) baking powder

1 teaspoon (non-aluminum) baking soda

2 cups whole cane sugar (or other whole sweetener like palm sugar, coconut sugar, maple sugar, etc.)

4 large pastured eggs

2 cups pumpkin puree

1 cup warmed milk

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter a large 9 X 13 pan, then flour the pan with more sprouted flour and tap out excess. (You could also use two round cake pans, or two square cake pans.) Set aside.

2. In a large bowl, sift together flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, salt, baking powder, and baking soda using a whisk. Set aside.

3. Place softened 1 cup of butter in a bowl of a stand mixer. Add sugar and mix on medium until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add eggs one at a time. Add pumpkin puree and milk. Mix in reserved dry ingredients on low. Mix until just combined.

4. Pour batter into prepared pan and bake until a toothpick poked in the center comes out clean, about 55-60 minutes. Place cake on cooking rack and let rest 20 minutes.

5. Serve with whipped cream sweetened with a little rapadura or stevia powder (make sure your stevia powder is green; if it's white it is too processed), and a sprinkling of soaked, dehydrated, roasted and chopped hazelnuts.

Chocolate Hazelnut Spread (Homemade Nutella-type Spread!)

2010-11-06T21:52:00.003-04:00

Okay, so I have wanted to make chocolate hazelnut spread for a long time. I don't like that Nutella has sugar in it, nor milk powder and soy lecithin. Plus, I like soaking my nuts before I eat them, that way the enzyme inhibitors are neutralized and they are much easier to digest.

Soaked, Dehydrated, and Roasted Hazelnuts

4 cups raw, organic hazelnuts

sea salt

filtered water

1. Get out a large glass jar and fill halfway with filtered water. Add 2 tablespoons sea salt and stir with a wooden spoon. Add hazelnuts and cover with a cloth or coffee filter. Let sit at room temperature overnight.

2. The next day, pour out water and put hazelnuts onto a baking sheet or dehydrator sheet. If using a dehydrator, dry at low heat, less than 150 degrees. You can do this in the oven if you oven will set a temperature that low. Or you can set it as low as possible and open the oven every now and then to let the temperature drop. Dehydrate either way for 12 hours or more, until the nuts are nice and dry and crisp. How do you know they're done? Taste one!

Chocolate Hazelnut Spread

2 cups (soaked, dehydrated, and roasted) hazelnuts, cooled

1/2 cup raw honey

1/3 cup organic cocoa powder

1 1/2 teaspoon Homemade vanilla

1 teaspoon coffee liqueur (I used Kahlua)

1/4 teaspoon sea salt

1/2 cup coconut oil, gently melted (I used expeller-pressed so there is no coconut flavor)

1. Place hazelnuts, honey, cocoa powder, vanilla, coffee liqueur, and sea salt to the bowl of a food processor. Pulse a few times to combine. Then turn on the processor and add melted coconut oil in a slow, steady stream. Add more or less coconut oil depending on the consistency you want. Serve.

Go-To Meal: Homemade Chicken Soup (with or without Dumplings)

2010-10-28T15:56:00.005-04:00

When we all got sick, this was the obvious choice for dinner. The soup simmers all day, ready for dinner that night. This is perfect when you don't mind if the stove heats up your house. Plus, if you simmer a pastured chicken all day, the resulting broth is full of nutrients from all the minerals in the bones and organs.

Even in Arizona, we have had a few days where we can simmer soup all day. This is my tried and true recipe that I have been making for a few years now.

Homemade Chicken Soup

1 whole pastured chicken including neck and giblets, preferably with head and feet still attached (I can't find heads and feet for a good price around here, so I omit)

2 onions, large diced

5 carrots, peeled and sliced into thick rounds

5 ribs celery, including leaves, sliced

2-3 tablespoons raw apple cider vinegar

1-2 bay leaves

1 bunch parsley, finely minced

sea salt and pepper

For the Dumplings/Noodles:

sprouted whole grain flour

1 pastured egg

olive oil or Mary's Oil Blend

garlic powder

onion powder

sea salt and pepper

1. Remove bag of giblets from the cavity of the chicken. Rinse chicken in cold water and then place into a large stockpot or large Dutch oven. Add giblets to the pot carefully. Add head and feet if you have them and they are separate from the chicken body. Add onions, carrots, and celery. Cover chicken and vegetables with cold filtered water, leaving at least an inch below the top of the pot. Add apple cider vinegar and let stand at room temperature for one hour. (The vinegar draws the minerals out of the bones of the chicken.)

2. Turn on burner under the pot, bring to a boil, then reduce heat to keep soup at a simmer. Add bay leaves and salt and pepper. Let simmer all day long, preferably 8 hours or more. (Try and start the pot very early in the morning to time it right).

3. About an hour before you want to serve the soup, remove chicken from the pot, along with giblets and head and feet. Discard the feet and head and giblets. Remove chicken meat from the bones and discard the bones. Cut chicken meat into cubes, or shred with a fork and then return to the pot. Add half of the minced parsley to the pot, cover and keep simmering while you make the dumplings/noodles.

4. Make dumplings/noodles. Combine one cup of flour and the egg in a small bowl. Add a few tablespoons of oil and mix with a spoon until a dough forms. Add seasonings to taste: salt, pepper, onion powder, and garlic powder. For a simple version of the soup, use a small ice cream scoop to drop spoonfuls of dough into the simmering soup to make dumplings. For a fancier version, or if you like the shape of flat noodles, roll out the dough and cut into small strips with a knife or pizza cutter to make noodles. Drop into the soup a few at a time to keep them from sticking together.

5. The dumplings/noodles cook up in only a few minutes. Try one and see if the texture is what you like. Serve immediately with homemade crackers floating on top, or with buttered sourdough toast. Either way, use the remaining minced parsley to sprinkle on the soup for a fresh herb flavor.

This post is part of Real Food Wednesday by Kelly The Kitchen Kop.

Go-to Meal: Taco-Seasoned Ground Beef

2010-10-27T21:00:00.002-04:00

This is one of my favorite healthy, inexpensive ingredients to use: ground beef. I buy it in bulk from U.S. Wellness Meats here. If I could fit 50 lb. into my freezer, I would. Lucky for me, I have a friend who likes to order with me and we each put 25 lb. in our freezers.

I found a recipe for homemade taco seasoning over at Kelly the Kitchen Kop, and she is right, it does taste just right. I made a few changes, but it's essentially the same. I can't tell the difference between this seasoning and the packets I used to buy at the grocery store. (Except after I eat this real food version, I don't get that sick feeling from the MSG in the commercial kind. Remember that MSG isn't just in monosodium glutamate. It is also in hydrolyzed food starch, autolyzed yeast, and citric acid among others.)

I either make tacos out of this recipe or taco bowls. By using sprouted corn tortillas, shredded raw cheddar cheese, salsa, and cubed avocado, you have great classic tacos with the real food spin. Or skip the tortillas and layer meat, cheese, salsa, and avocado in a bowl. You could also add lettuce and diced tomato.

Taco Seasoning

1/2 cup onion powder

1/4 cup chili powder

1 1/2 teaspoons cayenne pepper (this gives medium heat, adjust to your preference)

1 tablespoon dried oregano

1/4 cup sea salt

1/8 cup garlic powder

1/8 cup ground cumin

1. Place all spices in a glass jar, then cap and shake to combine. Use two heaping tablespoons per one pound of ground beef.

Taco-Seasoned Ground Beef

1 pound ground beef, thawed

2 heaping tablespoons taco seasoning

1. Brown entire pound of ground beef over medium-high heat until lightly browned on each side, then break up and cook until no pink remains. Sprinkle with taco seasoning and optional 1/2 cup water (I don't use it), cover and simmer 5-10 minutes. Serve.

Unintentional Break, Aaaand I'm Back!

2010-10-27T20:08:00.001-04:00

I'm still going on my Eat Fat, Lose Fat goal. It's Operation Lose Baby Weight! So far I have only managed to get about 3 pounds off, but I have only been at it about 4 weeks. Really, I am right on track. I need to remember to keep going, and not to judge myself. I haven't posted many recipes lately, because we all got sick for about a week and half, starting with M and then spreading to all of us.

During that time I made a lot of repeats of recipes I had already posted here. I kept breakfasts simple: either Coconut Smoothies, or variations on bacon, eggs, and toast with milk. For lunches I kept it easy too: I did a lot of crackers and cheese, or crackers and braunschweiger, with fruit and kefir. Then there was dinner, which was a lot of chicken dumpling soup and taco-seasoning ground beef bowls. Those are two of my go-to meals when it comes to time crunches or sickness.

And of course, I kept taking my coconut oil. It not only helps with weight-loss, but is a very good food to eat when you are sick. Coconut oil is antiviral, antibacterial, and antimicrobial. Coconut oil is a tried and true traditional fat, and helps your body detox and regulate. It made my throat feel better, that's for sure!

I will post my go-to dinner recipes forthwith. I am glad you are sticking with me, dear reader. :)

Things M Says (Part 34)

2010-10-26T16:07:00.000-04:00

M, looking out the window at the moon: "Hey Mom, do you see Earth's moon?"
K: "Yes."

Lol!

Green Pasture's giveaway over at Kitchen Stewardship

2010-10-22T16:00:00.000-04:00

Kitchen Stewardship is sponsoring a giveaway of Green Pasture's various cod liver oil and butter oil products. That is the brand we use, and I love it! If you want a chance at a free bottle of your choice, go check it out here.

Chocolate Chip Cookies (for M)

2010-10-20T22:33:00.001-04:00

M has been begging me for chocolate chip cookies. I had not found a good real food recipe yet, so I didn't have one on hand when he asked. I spent some time perusing Teh Interwebz for a good recipe to modify, but nothing really spoke to me. Then I remembered that my sister T has a good recipe in the Martha Stewart Cookies book that I had made before. So I tracked that one down, modified it with real food and it turned out beautifully!

I haven't been making much food in the past several days, since developing a nasty cold given to me lovingly by my boys. It was nice to mix up some cookie dough and make the house smell warm and homey while knowing that the next morning my little M would wake up to cookies for breakfast. I didn't worry about the fact that they were eating cookies for breakfast, and here's why:

grass-fed butter is good for you
palm shortening is good for you
sprouted whole grain flour is good for you
sea salt is good for you
pastured eggs are good for you
rapadura is good for you (in small amounts, not at every meal)
cacao nibs are good for you

I made these cookies, and they were not only good for my kids, but tasted pretty good too. The recipe yields a flatter, chewy cookie. The rapadura and homemade vanilla give a nice earthy, carmel flavor. The cacao nibs give a nice chocolatey crunch. Enjoy it with glass of crisp, clean raw milk and afternoon snacktime is a big hit.

This recipe makes quite a bit of dough. Feel free to freeze half the dough in logs wrapped in plastic wrap and then placed in a freezer bag. That's what I did.

Real Chocolate Chip Cookies

2 sticks (1 cup) grass-fed butter (I used Kerrygold)

1 cup palm shortening* (I used Tropical Traditions, it's made by non-exploited workers)

3 cups rapadura, or other whole sweetener* (I used Rapunzel I bought from Azure Standard)

4 large eggs (I used duck eggs. Yes, duck eggs!)

2 teaspoons Homemade Vanilla Extract

3 1/2 cups sprouted whole grain flour (I used soft white wheat berries)

1 1/2 teaspoons sea salt (I used Celtic Sea Salt)

2 teaspoons baking soda (I used aluminum-free from Food Wise)

1 1/2 cups cacao nibs (I bought these in bulk at Whole Foods)

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper and set aside. In a stand mixer, cream butter and palm shortening until creamy. Add rapadura and cream together until fluffy, about 3-5 minutes. Beat in eggs and vanilla.

2. Into a large bowl, combine dry ingredients: flour, salt, baking soda. Whisk with a wire whisk to remove lumps and sift ingredients together. Add to wet ingredients in stand mixer slowly. Mix until combined. Fold in cacao nibs.

3. Drop by large spoonfuls (2-3 tablespoons) either with a tablespoon or small ice cream scoop. Space at least 2 inches apart to give them room to spread. Bake two cookie sheets at a time with racks placed in the upper and lower thirds of your oven.

4. Bake for 8-10 minutes, until golden. Remove from cookie sheets and let cool on cooling racks.

Results After Two Weeks

2010-10-14T16:02:00.000-04:00

I'm losing weight! I have lost 3-5 pounds now, depending on which part of the day I weigh myself. I'm going to continue on with recipes in the Eat Fat, Lose Fat book, as well as modeling my tried and true dinners and recipes to work within the framework I have started.

For example, last night I had grass-fed ground beef flavored with homemade taco seasoning. I topped it with shredded raw, grass-fed, mild cheddar, salsa and cubed avocado. Add one cup of milk, and lacto-fermented carrot sticks and all the bases are covered.

(The only thing I would have liked would have been to make my own lacto-fermented salsa like this recipe over at Nourishing Gourmet.)

I'll post new recipes soon.

Dinner: Indonesian Coconut Steak, Sauerkraut, Salad, Milk, Macaroon

2010-10-10T21:35:00.000-04:00

This recipe for dinner was pretty good. I made it two nights ago and am just getting around to posting it. I'm getting tired of coconut-flavored everything though, so tonight I am making a plain ol' grass-fed steak and a green salad with milk and a pickle. I ate these coconutty leftovers today for lunch, so I'm ready for a savory change.

I will probably make this one again because it incorporates beef stock so nicely though. That's a big plus. I am aiming for more calcium in my diet, so bone broths are one surefire way to increase my intake. I am also drinking a cup of raw milk twice a day instead of once like before I started my Operation Lose Baby Weight challenge.

Coconut Oil:
Dinner:

Indonesian Coconut Steak
Homemade Sauerkraut
Green Salad with Carrots, Celery, and Parmesan Cheese with Basic Salad Dressing

Indonesian Coconut Steak

serves 4

3 tablespoons lard or Mary's Oil Blend

1 large onion, sliced

1 garlic clove, crushed

1 1/2 pounds boneless sirloin or skirt steak, sliced into 1/2-inch strips (I used grass-fed NY strip steak from Sprouts, it was on sale)

1 teaspoon ground ginger

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1 teaspoon ground coriander (I omitted this, I was out!)

1 teaspoon chili powder

2/3 cup desiccated coconut

2 teaspoons coconut or maple sugar (also called palm sugar)

1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice (I also added the zest to add flavor after having no coriander on hand)

1 1/4 cups beef stock

1 red bell pepper, seeded and sliced thin, for garnish

2 to 3 small green chiles, seeded and sliced thin, for garnish (I omitted)

small onion slices, for garnish (I forgot to reserve some, so I cooked them all and had to omit these)

1. Heat lard in a large saute pan over medium-high heat. Add onion slices and garlic and saute 5 minutes, or until soft. Add beef slices and saute, stirring, until browned, about 10 minutes.

2. Stir in ginger, cumin, coriander and chili powder and cook 2 minutes. Stir in coconut, sugar, lemon juice, lemon zest, and beef stock. Lower heat and simmer, uncovered, for 20 to 25 minutes, stirring occasionally, until sauce is reduced and meat is well coated. Garnish with slivers of bell pepper, green chiles, and small onion slices.

Basic Salad Dressing

1 cup olive oil (I use Chaffin Family Farms from CA, it's very mild and buttery)

1/2 cup raw apple cider vinegar (I use Bragg's)

1 teaspoon onion powder

2-3 tablespoons whole grain mustard

3-4 cloves minced garlic

1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

1/2 teaspoon dried basil

1 teaspoon sea salt (I use Celtic Grey Sea Salt)

1. Add ingredients in order to a jar or salad dressing shaker. Shake together to emulsify and pour over salads. Store in the refrigerator.

Why I Eat Liver, and Dinner: Liver Stir-Fry, Broccoli, Sauerkraut, Fruit, Milk

2010-10-07T16:10:00.001-04:00

Today was a momentous day. I bravely purchased liver, committed to try liver, and then made it for dinner. Little did I know that after it came out of the pan, breaded in seasoned sprouted flour and surrounded by diced bacon and browned onions, that I would fall in love. I know it sounds strange, but liver is delicious. Liver not only tastes good cooked this way, but is immensely good for you.

Organ meats have been traditionally consumed and revered for their healing properties by our ancestors. We can learn a lot from the way our forepeople valued organ meats. The added benefit of looking into the science behind what our ancestors did can help us wrap our heads around incorporating organ meats into our diets. (Though make sure that you differentiate between studies done on grass-fed organ meats and feedlot organ meats, since the nutritional difference is vast.)

Liver contains all kinds of nutrients, most strikingly a very high amount of vitamin A. Even the difference between grass-fed red meat and grass-fed liver is striking. Liver contains over three time more iron, 27 times more vitamin C, over 100 times more vitamin B-12 and folic acid, and that's not even mentioning the vitamin A. Grass-fed red meat contains 40 IU and grass-fed liver has 53,400 IU! Liver is also a source for vitamin K2, sometimes called "Activator X" by real foodies and Weston Price foundation folks. However, chicken liver is much higher in vitamin K2 than beef liver. Still, liver is good for you.

Vitamin K2 does many things, like promote bone growth and make your teeth grow in straight and strong. Here is a list of vitamin K2-rich foods, which include chicken liver, pate, grass-fed butter, grass-fed hard and soft cheese, and natto. I eat all these items except for natto. But I am determined to try it on a day when I feel especially brave. My boys love natto, which is very fortunate. You can buy natto at Asian markets, and they are cheap. Make sure you buy organic natto, so that you know the soybeans they fermented are non-GMO.

I have been easing into the idea of sauteing liver. I started by purchasing braunschweiger from U.S. Wellness Meats, which is 60% beef and 40% liver. Braunschweiger is a nutrient-dense, satisfying organ meat sausage that is wonderful on sprouted crackers and cheese. Now that I know I have the tastebuds to handle liver, I think I will try some more unusual organ sausages. Their liverwurst contains grass-fed liver, heart and kidney and looks like a good segue way into even more adventurous organ meat sausages. Maybe I will even try ordering some head cheese, which contains grass-fed tongue and heart. Baby steps, my friends. This is where they can get you to. This coming from me, the gal who thinks the texture of yogurt is gross. If I can eat liver, anyone can.

Oh, and my boys loved it. They happily chewed it, no problem. Liver is very velvety if you cook it right. They even asked for more until they were both stuffed. I know they got their nutrients, and I know that I got mine.

Coconut Oil: two tablespoons taken 20 minutes before dinner in raspberry leaf tea

Dinner:

Liver Stir-fry with Onions and Bacon (I cut the recipe in half)
Steamed Broccoli with Butter (I was too full to eat this)
Sauerkraut (homemade jar was finally done!)
Fresh fruit with Coconut Sprinkles (I had half a grapefruit)
one cup of raw milk

Liver Stir-Fry

serves 4

1 pound beef or calf's liver, cut into strips

juice of 2 lemons

1/2 cup sprouted flour, or unbleached white flour

sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

1 pound sliced bacon, cut into pieces (I did a small dice)

2 large onions, chopped

1. Place liver in a large bowl with lemon juice and marinate for several hours in the refrigerator.

2. Pat piece dry and dredge in a mixture of flour, salt and pepper.

3. In a cast-iron skillet over medium heat, cook the bacon until crisp. Remove with a slotted spoon and place on a heated platter (I used a glass pie plate set on a burner that was warm but turned off).

4. Cook chopped onion in bacon fat until browned. Remove with a slotted spoon and place on warmed platter/pie plate.

5. Stir-fry liver in remaining fat until browned on each side, only about 1-2 minutes per side, until medium-rare. If you overcook, it gets that "liver" taste. Serve immediately with bacon and onions.

Breakfast: English Breakfast--Eggs, Sausage, Toast, Tomatoes

2010-10-07T12:59:00.000-04:00

This breakfast was quite tasty though the sausage I bought was a little too herbaceous, even for me. R gave me a hard time for it, but he was still glad to have a yummy breakfast besides that. I'll look for a different brand for next time.

I made this yesterday, and even though I intended on repeating it for today, the thought of all those herbs in the sausage again was too much. So I made a triple batch of Coconut Smoothies and fed them to the little ones and myself. R opted for something coconut-free, as per usual.

Coconut Oil and Fermented Cod Liver Oil: two tablespoons coconut oil taken in raspberry leaf tea, and 2 capsules FCLO.

Breakfast:

English breakfast: sourdough bread, eggs, sausage or bacon, and tomatoes
one cup of raw milk

English Breakfast

serves 2

2 ounces additive-free sausage or nitrate-free bacon
2 slices whole-grain sourdough bread
1 tablespoon lard or Mary's Oil Blend
4 eggs
1 tomato, thickly sliced

1. Cook the sausage or bacon in a cast-itron skillet over medium-high heat. Transfer to a heated platter and keep warm in the oven on low heat (170 degrees).
2. Place bread in skillet and then turn so that both sides soak up the fat. Transfer to platter.
3. Add lard to pan, fry eggs to desired doneness, and transfer to platter.
4. Raise heat and cook tomato slices on both sides until nicely browned. Transfer to platter.
5. Return bread to pan and cook on both sides until nicely browned.
6. To serve, place a slice of bread on each of 2 heated plates. Place eggs on bread and surround with tomato and sausage or bacon.

Dessert On Hand: Coconut Macaroons

2010-10-06T14:19:00.000-04:00

When I was cheating last night, I decided to make some macaroons for the boys and me. On my meal plan it says that I can have a macaroon after dinner, thought I forget which day. After looking at the store I decided to make them. I had saved my egg whites from when I made those coconut smoothies, so I was good to go.

I got the Macaroon recipe from my copy of Nourishing Traditions, a necessity in my kitchen. Full of recipes, sources for hard-to-find items, breakdowns of fats, carbs, and proteins, meal ideas, and deatiled instructions for soaking, sprouting, culturing and lacto-fermenting, it's one of those books you will use forever. It covers all the basics. Now I just need to get my hands on the two volume set of Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child and I will be busy for a few years!

Nourishing Traditions is the book Sally Fallon and Dr. Mary Enig wrote before Eat Fat, Lose Fat. The books share a few recipes, but I am glad to own both. NT has hundreds of recipes and "how to"s, while Eat Fat, Lose Fat has practical meal plans and explanations of how to lose weight. They complement each other.

A note on ingredients:

Always use grade B maple syrup. It contains more trace minerals and nutrients. Also make sure to get organic syrup, since conventional syrup is processed with formaldehyde.
Arrowroot powder is a handy item to use in place of cornstarch or white flour. It thickens sauces without the phytic acid problem of flour, and replaces cornstarch that is most likely genetically modified.
Try to find pastured eggs in your area, asking the farmer if s/he uses soy in the feed for the chickens, and if the chickens spend their days outside in the sun.
Vanilla can be wonderful, and I prefer bourbon vanilla from Trader Joe's. It's cheap and has a fantastic flavor. However, I did recently try my hand at homemade bourbon vanilla. (It was easy! And very cheap to make.)
The cheapest dried, unsweetened coconut meat I have found is at Azure Standard, my online co-op choice.

Macaroons

makes 2 dozen

4 egg whites

pinch of sea salt

2 tablespoons arrowroot powder

1/2 cup maple syrup

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

2 cups dried/desiccated coconut meat, finely cut

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Line baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. Beat egg whites with salt in a clean bowl until they form stiff peaks. Beat in the arrowroot and slowly beat in syrup and vanilla. Fold in coconut gently.

3. Drop by spoonfuls onto parchment. Bake at 300 degrees for 30 minutes, until lightly browned. Then reduce heat to 200 degrees and bake for about 60 minutes, or until completely dry and crisp. Store in an airtight container at room temperature.

Homemade Bourbon Vanilla

2010-10-06T14:15:00.000-04:00

I love the bourbon vanilla from Trader Joe's. So I figured I would make my own and see how it compared. I love my version, but it tastes different than the TJ's brand. I recommend either one.

(I may make another batch with rum or vodka, and then experiment with mixing bourbon vanilla into the new batch. Perhaps a combination will yield a similar flavor to the TJ's bourbon vanilla?)

Regardless, this vanilla is pretty kickass. And if you want to save money, this is a biggie. I have also thought that homemade vanilla would make an excellent, frugal Christmas gift. Get some cute bottles and give the gift of great flavor. You could even experiment with different flavors. But remember to start by November! It takes about a month to get the right flavor.

Homemade Bourbon Vanilla

one bottle good, spicy bourbon (I used Wild Turkey)

6-8 vanilla beans

1. Pour bourbon into a glass canning jar. Split vanilla beans down the middle to release all those delicious vanilla bits, but do not cut all the way through. No need to scrape the beans or do anything else, just put split beans into bourbon and screw on a lid.

2. Put the glass jar in a paper bag to keep light out. Shake it once a day for 2-4 weeks, to get the vanilla beans to release their flavor.

(Justified?) Cheating

2010-10-06T00:28:00.001-04:00

Today's breakfast and lunch were totally legit. I repeated the same breakfasts and lunches from the last two days, to keep it simple: super scramble, bacon and milk, and then salmon roll-ups, carrots, celery, kefir and kvass. I even started my dinner out on the right foot: leftover lamb curry. But then I gave in to something I had been thinking all day. That I wanted to eat something whole grain that had NOT been soaked, sprouted or sourdoughed. And I wanted to do it on purpose to get rid of the heavy metals I had been feeling build up in my body the last few days. Let me explain.

The point of soaking grains, beans, nuts, and seeds is to reduce phytic acid and enzyme inhibitors (this is true for nuts in particular). Here is a good "how to" on soaking. And here is one on sprouting. If you don't soak or sprout your grains, then the phytic acid doesn't allow your body to properly soak up nutrients in the grains, like trace minerals including calcium, magnesium, etc. It also can pull these good minerals from your body. You can become depleted of calcium, and have problems with your teeth, for example. Like me!

I am to the point where I never consume a grain, legume, nut or seed without preparing it properly. My body takes too much of a beating if I don't follow this rule. I have been suffering from adrenal fatigue this year, and my body has been hormonally out of whack ever since I conceived E. I have noticed that the more real food I consume, the better I feel. I'm not as tired, I have more energy, my emotional ups and downs are manageable, I'm happy.

I have recently started to oil pull every morning. Oil pulling help pull toxins out of your body. It helps keeps your teeth strong and plaque-free. It helps with adrenal fatigue. Since I suffer from the fatigue and poor tooth health, I committed to oil pull daily. I learned later, however, that if you have silver fillings oil pulling can cause them to leak heavy metals, like mercury.

I noticed last week that one of my silver fillings was very sore. I stopped oil pulling for a couple of days, and the pain went away. I started oil pulling again and the pain returned. So I decided two days ago to stop for good. Once my silver fillings are replaced with white ones, I will take up oil pulling again. The pain was my indicator that my fillings were being affected. Only after that did I realize that I had been feeling very fatigued the last several days. I have been affected by this extra heavy metal dose in my body the last few days.

So that brings me back to eating non-soaked whole grains, on purpose, to pull the mercury out of my body. So I did. After I had my bowl of curry, I had a bowl of multi-grain Joe's O's with raw milk and a spoonful of rapadura. Maybe it's the placebo effect, but I have already been feeling better. I am hoping the phytic acid in the oats and wheat of that bowl of cereal gives me a boost to get the excess mercury out of my system. Then tomorrow morning I can start afresh, following the meal plan, and not needing a nap. :)