Halloween!

VIRTUAL AND ACTUAL PUMPKIN CARVING
My good friend Jordan, in California, emailed me this and I think y'all should try it :) We are carving our own pumpkins this weekend with The Boy. I think he's really going to dig the whole put-your-hands-inside-a-pumpkin-and-squish-the-innards thing. He does it to green beans every day, so why not a big ol' pumpkin?

TOUR OF HALLOWEEN
Later this afternoon M and I will begin our Tour of Halloween. He is dressing up as a lion (which he will also wear trick-or-treating later in the Tour) and is trekking to the Briarwood Mall here in Ann Arbor with me to hit up a bunch of local stores for candy. Also it's an excuse for me to turn Halloween into a Halloweekend, instead of a day :) then tomorrow, after Stake Conference in the morning, and after the nap, we're going to Wiard's cider mill to pick apples and go to the petting zoo, etc. On Monday I don't think there's anything going on, but on Tuesday (!) we will go trick-o-treating, again, in the very cute lion costume (hooray for Target!) on the actual Halloween. Also, I have purchased a witch hat and broom and am planning on wearing my black-and-orange striped toe socks while doing said activites with my tiny man dressed as a lion. I'm hoping I can convince him roar a lot in the next few days.

HALLOWEEN VIEWING
I have requested a copy of the film "The Witches" from the Ann Arbor library, and it should be here by tomorrow so that R and I can watch it. I think it's still too scary for M, although based off the children's book of the same name by Roald Dahl. Also, I have tried to get a copy of "Wait Until Dark" with Audrey Hepburn, another good scary/Halloweenish movie. And if I had not already seen it a few times, I would be getting my hands on a copy of "The Ring", which is the best scary movie I think I've seen. So if you're reading this, go rent The Ring and scare yourself silly. You'll thank yourself.

Cedar Point

So who would've thought that in Sandusky, Ohio, only 2 hours from where we live, there is an amusement park that has some of the fastest and tallest (and funnest!) rides in the world?? go figure. now the question has morphed into: Why didn't we know this sooner? Say, the previous 2 years we have lived only 2 hours away? Say, before I was pregnant and/or had a child who pretty much can only eat food and ride the merry-go-round at these parks? oh well :)

no, actually, even though it would've been more fruitful without a child in tow, we had a pretty great time this last weekend. R and I drove down with M (during naptime=bad idea) and met R's cousins there. B flew from UT to Washington DC to meet C, and then they drove to Sandusky. And S and J drove up from Nashville. Then we all rode the roller coasters, ate fast food, and then had to turn around and go back to our respective places. It was short but sweet :)

I mostly talked to C, who waited with me out of line with M for two and half hours while the rest of them waited for the Millenium Force. After they exited, C and I used the handy parent pass and went to front of the line to wait a few mintues for the FRONT of the ride. we're talkin' very front. as in pee you pants scared front. please note that i'm not a pansy. this ride goes faster than any other roller coaster I've been on in my life, kid you not. it's currently the 3rd highest coaster in the world, and probably one of the fastest. this is further scaryified by the fact that all that holds you in is a secure, but mere safety belt and lap bar. and you go up the first big "up" and it seems to never end! in other words, i highly recommend it!

Also, M went through his first "haunted" house at the park. there were squiggly mirrors and squishy floors and blow up pumpkins and spiders. he didn't cry once! well, except when it was over and he tried to run back in. he also saw a line of monsters dancing the Electric Slide, which besides being awesome to behold in the first place, was impressive because he reached out and touched the werewolf without too much trouble. this wasn't too surprising to me, but every one else was very impressed with his bravery. (i wasn't surprised because we've already ventured to the Halloween store before, and he was picking up big plastic, hairy spiders that gave ME the willies.)

hooray for Cedar Point! pictures to follow soon :)

Freaking out

well, last week i had a bit of a scare with The Boy. i figure i was lucky that R and I had been sick prior to this scary day, so that I at least had some frame of reference when the scariness began. M woke up Thursday morning pretty normally, although he'd been coughing and it sounded bad enough to take him into the doctor just to make sure. so i called and set up an appointment for after his nap at about 2pm. so before the nap I gave him some Tylenol to keep his mild fever down (it was about 100.3) when he woke up i took his temperature again and it was still around 100.

by the time we drove to the doctor and were seen it was about 20 minutes or so. when they took his temperature it was 105.3 and i just about died. the nurse even said something like "whoa, 105.3", which doesn't really help, you know? so (fortunately) i brought some tylenol and gave him more at that point, since he was due for another dose anyways. it turns out that the first dose i gave him was about half the size it was supposed to be. so all you Tylenol-dispensing mothers out there, please note what your child's weight is and make sure you constantly know how much medicine to give. otherwise your child may scare you to death and then proceed to cry uncontrollably in the doctor's office because of their misery :(

but don't worry, it all ended up just fine. the Tylenol kicked in and he cooled off. and then we went to the pharmacy and got Motrin and more Tylenol to get us through the remainder of the sickness. the only other part was that he had to go the hospital to get a chest x-ray (just in case), which he didn't like very much. but here we are, a few days later, taking nice long naps, eating lots of food, and playing outside with rocks again. not to mention, i've become a more seasoned mother and no longer fear (as much) The High Fever. thank goodness! the end.

I've got the Halloweenies!!

I cannot tell you all how much I enjoy Halloween, and how happy I am for a dressing-up-and-trick-or-treating excuse in the form of having a one-year-old son. Because, you know, of course now we have to buy him a funny lion costume with a huge mane hood on it and take him out with a big plastic pumpkin for candy that he can't really eat, and so then R and I will have to help him. So while I'm doing all this helping, I might as well dress up as a witch and get my own plastic pumpkin, right? Not to mention my responsibility to decorate the whole apartment with orange and black things in order to "teach M about Halloween" several weeks in advance. Actually, that one is real. I DO feel like I should be more vocab-savvy with my M time. And now he can identify and say "pumpkin", or at least something like "pa-pin". So there. I'm am now justified in my bordering on nerdy excitement for this holiday.

My love for Halloween may only be (almost) rivaled by Christmas. Christmas is also coming up soon, and now that M is old enough to appreciate it, I'm looking forward to that too. I think this might be one of the greatest perks of having a child: getting to be a child again and having a great excuse! Plus, R and I aren't travelling anywhere this year, so we'll just have our own little family vacation complete with snow and a Christmas tree. I can't believe that next year we'll all be in Phoenix with the palm trees and the flip flops during these holidays. Weird.

And this goes out to my pal M: I have not jumped in any piles of leaves. But I can't promise anything before autumn is over. In fact, R's family (parents, youngest sister, brother and wife and child) are coming in a few weeks, and so we're all going to drive out in the country and pick apples and pumpkins and eat hot cinnamon donuts and cider. I cannot wait to see those two little ones pick apples off of a Michigan tree and then chomp them right there in the orchard. I'm already feeling like Anne of Green Gables just thinking about it. So basically I'm saying that leaf pile jumping is a distinct possibility :)

happy birth to me!

once, only one year after I met R and was currently engaged to him and therefore knew his family pretty well by then, i received a card from his younger brother. he wrote something to the effect of: well, i can't really wish you a happy birthday since it's not a happy day at all, but let's just say happy birth, and leave it at that. i still have the card somewhere. so yesterday was my birthday and i turned a whopping 26, which is "so old" compared to my younger sister's 18 years, as she told me so. but even though it was the 5 year anniversary of 9/11 i have to admit that it might have been one of my best birthday's yet :)

first of all, i got a package from my grandmother by a knock on the door from the mailman. then i went and checked my mail and got a few cards in the mail (one with money in it!), and then i checked the apartment offices and my mom's package had arrived. is it pretty amazing that everything i was sent for my birthday ACTUALLY ARRIVED ON MY BIRTHDAY!? also, my visiting teacher not only remembered, and not only came over to visit me on my birthday, but also made chocolate cookies and 2 cherry cupcakes. !!!

plus, the Birthday Fairy came to visit, and i came out of the deal with party picks (colored toothpicks), Silly Sweetie Putty (with the "sweetie" drawn in), neon straws, mini Snickers, Arrested Development (Season 3), and The Office (Season 1). and the real kicker was a Barbie birthday card from R declaring that i was a "special birthday girl".

then i got calls all day from various family members and friends. this might be the real reason i had such a good day. i have a talking addiction, and the best present is to have a really good, long gab-fest (as R can affirm and tease about). so i talked to my mom, my sister, my other sister, and my other sister, my sister-in-law, my other sister-in-law, my mother-in-law, and my wonderful huband. it was delightful, wonderful, birthday talking.

i then picked up r and we went to Potbelly's, which might make the best sandwhiches ever. if you ever go, get "The Wreck" WITH the peppers. yum! and if you ever happen to go the one by University of Michigan campus, AND it happens to be your birthday, AND you love Ben and Jerry's ice cream, stop by and demand a free birthday ice cream cone. double yum!

to top it all off, i LOVE FALL. especially here in Michigan where i could seriously live for the rest of my life just to be around all the misty mornings, bright leaves, cider mills, pumpkins, farmer's markets, and general amazing scenery and feeling. i challenge everyone to visit in the next few weeks to enjoy it with me. we can all stay in my 2 bedroom apartment.

also, as a strange side note: R went to football game last week (his first Michigan football game) and they have a new kicker named "Zoltan". i am NOT kidding. his name is Zoltan. and even though Michigan has only played 2-3 games this season thus far, there are already shirts out there on the fans declaring "Zoltan for Space Emperor". i almost peed my pants in the car when r told me this. i hope to acquire said t-shirt and share with all of you. the end.

Ann Arbor is very arbor-y

so M and R and I are back in Michigan, and I'm LOVING IT! everything is green and blowing around in the wind, and the wind itself is actually a little COLD. Cold people, cold. anyone who is reading this in Arizona can appreciate the difference. I bought a green, light jacket for fall last week while shopping in AZ and thought how it would be awhile until I wore it, but that I would love it when I finally could. Well, it turns out that i'm loving said jacket today, not later.

i really missed Ann Arbor. it's soo picturesque here, and i love where we live and I love the stores and the university grounds and the parks on every block. it just feels so different from the west. i can't believe that we're moving from here in less than a year :( which brings me to the next paragraph:

R got a job offer! and he took it! hooray! and i really like the firm and the people i've met. plus R will get to do transactional work like he was wanting to. plus we're going to live in Tempe (where we lived this summer) which i like loads more than when we've lived in Mesa. it's closer (to everything it seems!), more diverse, it has a splash park and a Whole Foods and great library and great shopping nearby :) basically i like it, with a strong possibility for loving it. and we'll probably be renting an apartment there for the first two years of working.

so thems the news. i've probably been a little too vague, but alas, i am writing you all at the library and have limited time before the waitlist kicks me off. so please forgive any misssspellings and "fragments" for any of you English teachers out there. the end.

public speaking, and a rant about church

i don't know about any of you, but i find myself in minor faith crises often. i have come to know myself better and better through the years, and i am pretty convinced of my visual preference in learning, thinking, etc. this has manifest itself in my choice of major (dance, art) and interests (also dance and art, but also movies (good ones)) even though some aren't typically thought of as visual (reading, writing in this here blog). so, that's where i'm coming from.

the way i have my faith crises is when i think that i haven't SEEN God, or Christ, or the gospel, or heaven, or death, or the Tree of Life, etc. so how can i believe them? my personal answer lies in defining "to know". in English, we say that we "know" the color or something or just general facts, things we can see and are tangible. but we also say that we "know" people. we know who they are, how we feel about them. i know that i love R and M, and i've never seen Love. so why can't i know God without needing to see Him to prove it to myself? okay, so i could go on and on about faith and all it's intricacies, but that type of thing is more suited for talking and arguing and such. now i want to get to the "i have a bone to pick" portion of my thoughts:

to address "Faith Crisis" i think most Mormons might say that they have a testimony, they feel the Spirit, they pray and read their scriptures and so on. well, so do i. but i have moments of doubting. true, doing those things builds faith. am i abnormal because i'm doing them and then still wonder? do other people just not have these problems? or do other people just not admit it? i'm going to say, quite emphatically since i think i'm right, that most people do have these questions arise, but either (1) ignore them or (2) notice them and think about them and THEN ignore them.

i have to admit that i was a little irritated yesterday when i had to talk in church for this very reason. i wanted to talk about my doubts and how i found some answers. but how often do we hear people raise their hands in Sunday school and talk about fears and doubts, honestly and straightforwardly? i admit that it has happened, and i have seen it. but they are few and far between in my experience. most people i know, even my own age, are still in the habit of saying that everything's fine: Other People are the ones with faith crises, and if you're doubting then you aren't as good a member of the Church as Me.

i find it frustrating that we, as Mormons belonging to the same church and reading the same scriptures and listening to the same prophets, can't be honest with one another. we mostly end up pretending we're fine, that we don't need help, that we don't have problems (and if we do, we don't need help and/or we think they aren't a big deal). is anyone else bothered by this? sometimes i really think that i don't belong in this church. and when i say "don't belong" i'm referring to the irritating "Mormon culture" aspect of it all, the part that has nothing to do with whether or not i believe the Church is true (which i do), and more to do with being/acting happy all the time, dressing preppy, and generally being more concerned with appearances and strange competitions about who's suffered the most while also maintaining a stiff upper lip, having food storage, sewing all 10 children's clothing, and things like that. if this sounds extreme, i'm speaking from actual sightings of said strange competitions.

now, this mostly refers to my experiences in Relief Society and with women of the church in general. (when i talk to ryan, he says the men's dynamic is different. and i'm not a man, so i'm not going to speculate) i know they (the women of the church) mean well, don't get me wrong. but even so, i find myself getting labeled for things that have nothing to do with the church (example: i don't smile for no reason) and then treated as though i'm less active or one of the Doubting Ones because i'm not as smiley as the other women in the ward. are you kidding me?

can i please be different, and yet still faithful? do they exclude each other? can i value my children and God and reading scriptures just as much as the next Molly Mormon, but still like to dye my hair bright red? and most of all, can i find someone else who feels somewhat like this?

okay, here's the thing that's really getting to me, and then i'll stop typing incoherently. last year my parents split up, certain truths came to light after years of hiding, the family is divided and hurting and some aren't speaking to each other, and some might never heal. it's a BIG mess.

without giving many details, i told my visiting teachers what was going on and said there wasn't much to do really, but that was what i was going through. i remember, distinctly, being treated differently after that. partly, it's expected. but to be treated as if i'm now one of Those, one of Those Members with a Sketchy Family! to be treated as though i'm now contaminating to talk to, as if my honesty is really just pessimism. that telling about an awful thing that's real is just a downer for someone to have to listen to, who would rather think about sunshine and flowers. i have nothing against sunshine and flowers! i like them, i like to feel good. but what if i'm not? should i pretend otherwise? isn't there opposition in all things? i'm not frightened of those with problems, i WANT to talk to to them, see how they're figuring things out.

but i think some of us are too afraid. we want to have perfect families that never fight, where every child never does drugs, drinks, says the F-word, sleeps around, or better yet, never even WANTS to. (that's the kicker huh? we can't admit that it even sounds fun. i admit it! i think being drunk WOULD be fun. but i'm not going to. see? two separate things.) but most of us don't have families like that, and Heavenly Father still loves us and understands us. and last i checked, i'm not responsible for anyone else beside myself (and my children). so why am i treated as if i did something wrong, when i didn't? and didn't Heavenly Father make us different on purpose? i'm pretty happy with myself, even though i'm still learning and growing. i just want to have someone honest and unafraid to talk to about it. (besides r, of course!)

The Office and The Office

so just yesterday, R and i rented The Office Series One (this is the original show from the BBC) and were laughing just as much as when we rented the American version a few weeks ago. i would definitely recommend it! however, you may find yourself wondering if you do, in fact, speak English, because we had to turn on the subtitles in order to make sense of what they were saying. this strikes me as a bit funny, especially when after reading the subtitles you wonder why you couldn't understand in the first place.

in other news, R and i are going to have sushi tonight. i'm pretty excited, considering that it may very well be my favorite food. plus, it's with people from G and B, which is the firm that R is favoring right now. in fact, they'll probably decide if they're offering him job by about a week from now. so hopefully you'll be hearing an excitedly-toned post in a little over a week announcing our solid future next year after graduation and bar exams.

also, M and I must now go to the post office and remedy an attempted textbook purchase. i'm soo looking forward to the line :)

Lovely Lullaby Lyrics and an Explanation

I've since found the lyrics to Hushabye Mountain (courtesy of my mother who found them and emailed them to me :) I don't have the ability or motivation to get the music for it, so you'll have to either remember the tune from the movie if you've seen it, or go rent the movie and memorize the tune while enjoying the movie for the first time. In fact, I recommend seeing the movie either way, since I like it so much. I'd like to see it again myself. Well, without further ado:

HUSHABYE MOUNTAIN
A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain
Softly blows o'er lullaby bay.
It fills the sails of boats that are waiting--
Waiting to sail your worries away.
It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain
And your boat waits down by the key.
The winds of night so softly are sighing--
Soon they will fly your troubles to sea.
So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain.
Wave good-bye to cares of the day.
And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain
Sail far away from lullaby bay.

Now for the explanation: I've not posted anything until now because I was in CA for a week and returned this last Wednesday. I returned safely but was very tired from staying up later than usual for the most of the nights (11pm-ish), and ridiculously later than usual on two of the nights (3am on Saturday with 2 sisters and a brother-in-law, and 4:30am on Tuesday with one sister (M)).

Needless to say, I was making great use of my mother's willingness to babysit. And it's fun to stay up late, even though I don't do it much anymore. Babies and husbands usually put the kibosh on that whole thing. But while my husband wasn't around to be the voice of reason, and my baby was being safely watched, I just couldn't resist staying up with sisters and friends and playing card games, and eating ice cream, etc. Now I'm content to be home and go to bed early for the sake of recovery.

these are a few of my favorite things...that i never would've known about unless i had a one-year-old and spent all day with him

1.) Watching Elmo's World: this might be the funniest show so far in the Kid DVD Collection. Case in point: one episode is about ears, so they show a cartoon about The Boy Who Loved His Dog's Ears. "I love my dog's ears", he says, "they're soft and furry." But before they show the cartoon, the reception is bad and fuzzy, so a rabbit comes in and says, "You need a pair of rabbit ears!" and then contorts his ears to get the signal. Okay, maybe it's just funnier to me since being generally cut off from normal grown-up interaction. Still, I insist that it's funny. **bonus: Having a snuggly M content to sit on your lap while watching.

2.) Learning the words to lullaby's: So far I know the one from Dumbo that starts "Baby mine, don't you cry...", and the one from Mary Poppins that starts "Stay awake don't rest your head..." I would like to learn the words to Hush-a-bye Mountain from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (Does anyone remember that movie? I loved it as a kid!)

3.) (Now don't freak out) Watching The Wiggles: I may feel stupid letting M watch the Wiggles, and i may feel incredibly stupid while dancing along with them on the DVD, but it's worth it when M tries to dance and jump (especially since he falls a lot just while walking) and has the best time ever!

4.) Hearing new words forming: Just YESTERDAY something clicked inside of The Boy and he said a few words ON PURPOSE. He said "nana" when I asked him what a banana was, and just a few minutes ago while talking to my mom on the phone I asked him to say hi to Nonni and he said "non-nee". !!!!!!!!!!! That's how excited I am! Plus I'm shocked since M has shown hardly any interest in speaking until now. (more) !!!!!!!

5.) Having a schedule and being generally more responsible and "good": I actually go to bed at night a reasonable hour. I don't eat as much junk food or watch as much TV. I read more books. I feel better :)

So there you have it. I have enjoyed all of these things this week because of The Boy. So sorry to you if you didn't want to hear even MORE about a certain child called M, but I am a little preoccupied with him lately.

sicky

so i'm sick today. i woke up with a horrible sore throat. every time i get a sore throat this bad i flashback to BYU when i got mono. i wasn't kissing anyone at the time, so i must've gotten it in some unfunny way like from a shared cup. and then whenever i think of having mono, i remember something funny that paul told R once in reference to R's paranoia about having contracted mono from me (even though i had gotten over it before we met). he said, "R, think about what mono is made up of. it's MO, and NO." fortunately, i hadn't had mono when we embarked on the post-first-kissing part of our relationship. so there was no No on the MO. (fyi, the MO refers to The Making Out, just in case you aren't privy to byu slang from 4 years ago, dear reader.)

i also had a really vivid dream about being in a play that my understudy had been filling in for. this was because i hadn't felt like going for the last few weeks, apparently. so in my dream i was trying to learn my lines while onstage, and remember the lyrics to songs and steps to dance numbers. i still remember most of it now, having been awake for about 4 hours. does it mean something??!! will i suddenly find myself in such a condition one day soon?

i'm going to CA in about a week. we are flying to Fresno where my mom will pick me and M up and we'll stay for a week. i'm not sure how it'll go, but i'm still pretty excited to see people. my mom and 2 of my sisters will be there for sure, and then another sister with her husband will come and visit for 2 days. that's a lot of sisters. and since miles is walking now i expect that he'll get even more cuteness points than usual and garner love and snuggles and presents, etc.

i started a new book by Leslie Marmon Silko called Ceremony. i've only read about 50 pages, but it's already quite vivid in it's description of the deserty conditions the story takes place in. i have found myself a better water drinker the last few days. the language of the main character's inner voice is really amazing, making his pain as vivid as the desert's heat. the book, even only this far, has affected me. it also, just because the characters are Native Americans, brings up images i've imagined and thoughts i've pondered while reading Seventh Son and the following books after it in the series (by Orson Scott Card). i find that somewhat amusing :)

my cup o' soup is now ready.

S-A-TUR-DAY Night! (name that movie!!)

i'm attempting a foolish, yet exciting, and even possibly fantastic outing this weekend. we've decided to try camping with The Boy. the reason is because R has been craving nature this week. and since working every day, all summer, in AZ where there are no trees, he's developed quite the nature fixation. i'm willing to try this outing, at least once. but may i remind/inform all of you what M requires on a normal day in terms of sleep:

1.) he needs it as dark as possible: we shut the blinds, we have hung up fleece blankets in front of his window, we shut the door, and we put a sweatshirt by the crack of the door so he can't see lights on in the other room, and then instead of slumbering, yelp to us asking to be a part of all the fun.

2.) he needs to not be able to hear anything outside his room: we have a humidifier that has three settings the highest of which is LOUD and very white noisy, we have a cheap noise machine that we set to "wind" and turned up to max. between these two things he can't quite hear the ample amounts of ridiculous traffic right outside our door.

3.) he needs his blanket, or at least, it helps

4.) he needs snuggling/reading/singing for about 5-10 minutes to calm down and fall asleep by himself

(3 and 4 don't worry me, we can bring the blanket and provide the snuggling and reading and singing as usual. but 1 and 2 are a little more tricky, but i think a radio (with batteries) tuned to a fuzzy station should take care of 2. but #1 i simply can't do much about, and M needs to fall asleep around 7. will he cooperate???)

really i don't think it will be that bad. i mean it's only for one night, and he should at least enjoy the "trip" part of the adventure, right? and since he's walking now, i think he could try out some new walkin' shoes and get in touch with nature for the first time. plus, he might LOVE it! it's possible, right? (this is why i said "possibly fantastic".) and it might be worth it just to see my cute R getting so excited about bringing his little family out camping. R LOVES to camp, and subsequently would love for M to love to camp. i already love to camp, but i've never done it with a baby...a baby who eats bugs at our house, let alone in the middle of nature where they live. but i have to give my little boy the chance to experience these things. it may end up just being an experience in sleep deprivation, but we must try.

Party Pictures

Here are a couple of my favorite pictures from the party we had on Saturday (even though M's real birthday was on Friday). The pure delight with his new toy in the first picture is almost more than i can handle!! it's seriously my new favorite :) and the second one is of us opening presents. i knew that he would love his roll-a-rounds and bang them together happily. it makes me a proud mother to know my child well enough to pick out the correct toys for him. i don't know why that means so much, it just does :)

it's time to party

so there are only a few more hours until the big party. the cheesecake is made, the carrot cake is made and cut into the shape of a dinosaur (it has yet to be frosted), the gifts are piled. now all that's left is to clean a bathroom, decorate a little and frost the cake. i'm seriously excited!! i can't tell you how much fun i'm having!

plus, M has started WALKING! he falls over a lot and can only take a few steps at a time, but even this morning he seemed to make strides (punny!) with his walkin' technique. mostly he just gets so excited because we're excited that he tries to walk fast and then falls and immediately starts clapping. it's pretty much the sweetest thing in the whole world :)

i promise a full report on the party later, complete with my favorite pictures of the day. wish me luck!

not much to say...okay i lied.

so it's 10:15 here in AZ, and it feels like 3 in the morning. i have officially become extremely lame. but alas, i feel like getting out some random blurbs. i just went to the movies with my SIL and we saw The Devil Wears Prada. i came out of the movie feeling slightly frumpy from all the fun clothes in the movie, but at the same feeling more okay about my purchase a few days ago of some high-heeled shoes. i had difficulty walking in them on sunday, from the lack of practice (i haven't worn anything but flat shoes for about 3-4 years!), but alternately felt very tall and even a little bit glamorous (for me). so thank you meryl streep.

also, today i went to toys 'r' us for a shopping-idea-generating stroll with R and M. we saw LOTS of toys. too many. but the ideas were, in fact, generated. plus, M got to try some out and see what he thought. then we went to target to actually buy the toys for several dollars cheaper. original dump truck=$20. purchased dump truck (right size, plastic, no sharp corners)=$7. booyah!

i would also like to say that i'm really looking forward to miles birthday. growing up in my family, the birthday fairy visited the night before your birthday and you woke up to a birthday trail. usually it consisted of m&m's and several small items along the way, leading to the living room where your wrapped presents were in a pile. so miles will get his very first birthday trail of cheerios and such, and i can't wait! i realize that this is really more for me than for him, but it's okay. i'm still excited and unashamed of my enthusiasm.

so friday is the real birthday and then saturday the fam is coming over and also a friend named AJ who is 8 months old. we will be having strawberry cheesecake and a dinosaur-shaped carrot cake for miles (which may or may not be disgusting, since i'm varying it for a child, i.e. less sugar, only whole wheat flour, etc; hence, the cheesecake option). but lest you all become very impressed with my willingness to make these cakes, please know that i relish excuses to make these things. it's relaxing. i don't know why, and i'm not lying just to sound impressive. if i lied just to sound impressive i would say that i'm also really looking forward to cleaning the whole house before everyone comes over. so honestly, baking is like my alternative to getting a massage. don't ask.

i just finished reading In Cold Blood. i'm very disturbed by it. but i also recommend you to read it. i had never read anything by Truman Capote until this, but i enjoyed it so much that i'd also like to read Breakfast at Tiffany's sometime soon. also, i just finished Les Miserables. one of my favorite books ever. while simultaneously being one of the most annoying to read. but please, read it! the end.

Quiz

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
He had only one name for these two kinds of work: gardening.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
kitchen table chair (with no cover on it, since i washed a M-induced stain off of it yesterday and it's drying)

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
The Office Season 1 (we don't have TV, just rented movies)

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
8:15

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
8:09

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
M pushing his popping car around while he crawls, the air conditioner (yes, even at 8:09 in the morning), my tummy growling

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
about and hour ago to drive R to his bus stop

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
my blog to see if anyone had visited this early in the morning

9. What are you wearing?
some brand new jean capris i found on sale yesterday at old navy, a green, white, blue and yellow striped polo and bare feet

10. Did you dream last night?
yes, but i'm not sharing

11. When did you last laugh?
a few minutes ago when M was eating, he's pretty funny with food!

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
a calendar, a picture of Jesus Christ, a very large painting of tulips, a clock, some bookshelves, and very funny note from my 7-year-old sister who spelled things like "guys" as "gise", and "few weeks" as "fyu weeks"

13. Seen anything weird lately?
R and i had N and K over last night (his brother), and while we were talking a cricket hopped out of the kitchen onto the carpet. primitive killing urges then activated in the males and they proceeded to smash it with a flip flop

14. What do you think of this quiz?
hopefully i'm not sounding too boring because of it

15. What is the last film or video you saw?
The Producers (the new one with Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick)

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
mine and R's freedom from the student loan powers-that-be, a new car (probably a Saab), a trip to Italy, to Carmel (CA), to Hawaii, and many other amazing places. i'd also buy lots of clothes, for the whole fam. i'd also pay for my sister's beauty school tuition, and for her car.

17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
i used to bite my nails until last year, and since then i've had nice long nails that i can paint and use for scratching backs, and that i can drum on the table, etc.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
i would magically reverse the effects of global warming (i just read an article on this at the NYTimes site)

19. Do you like to dance?
i hope so

20. Comment to George Bush:
i won't get into this here

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Zooey Lyn

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Well, I DO call him M, but if we have another I'll imagine to call him Colter James

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
absolutely

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
it's okay, you did just fine

25. 4 people who must also do this quiz on THEIR blog: blah blah blah blah

Lazy Sunday, OR The Happy Nappies

i'm currently skipping church due to M's crazy sleep habits, which have only been exacerbated by his mouth deciding to sprout 3 new teeth, all next to each other creating one bumpy, red, sore set of gums. so church is at 2, and M fell asleep at 1:30. of course. but i can't bring myself to wake him up, poor thing. he's just a tiny little guy trying his best to behave while his teeth race to the surface. i wish they'd hurry up. so while he snoozes i'll relate to you all, my most surreal night out EVER, which was last night, and is something i can't stop thinking about:

I had the most amazing dining experience of my life! R and I were invited to Mastro's Steakhouse, where there are attendants in the bathroom, the waiters wear tuxedos, and they have a Personalized Iced Seafood Tower on the menu. The dinner was courtesy of R's hiring partner, who evidently has lots of money, since my halibut was $35 and R's prime, prime rib (yes, 2 primes) was around $40. and that's just the main dish...

we had lovely green salads with lots of exotic cheeses (i.e. Gorgonzola, i know it's not really that exotic, but i've never had it before), lobster mashed potatoes, creamed spinach, sauteed veggies, and then our steaks and lamb and fish fillets served on 400 degree plates plopped in front of you while still sizzling. then of course there was the warm butter cake for dessert: caramelized sugar crusted cake topped with raspberry syrup and vanilla ice cream and berries and whipped cream, which we all ordered after hearing the waiter describe it and proclaim that it was the best thing on the menu. this food was even better than my favorite thing ever: sushi at Yuri's in CA. i was full and happy and sleepy.

however, the food aside (did i mention it was the best food ever?) it was also one of the most uncomfortable things i've ever done. i'm not used to tuxedoed waiters hovering about and recommending lavish desserts with an air of culinary superiority. i'm not used to R needing Jay's advice on proper tip amount for using the restroom during dinner. and i'm certainly not used to living the rich life on summer internship weekends while having had regular conversations with R about paying off student loans, etc. and the strangest part of all was that everyone else, even R, was more okay with it than me. and i don't mean this in the "exalted poor" sense, like i felt guilty for enjoying an expensive meal. i was just plain out of place, like a little kid swinging her feet off of a too tall chair. but tom and his wife were old pros, it seemed, and 2 other couples were already working for the firm and used to it (i'm guessing), and even R has been out to lunch several times already in his workin' clothes.

basically i was finally backed into a corner with a real adulthood situation (with no way out) and it was weird. but at the same time, i'm glad it's over and i can do it again in the future without near-paralyzing anxiety. instead i'll be a regular, expecting this type of thing on birthdays and anniversaries. i've mentioned this to R and his eyes got really big. then he laughed and realized i was kidding. mostly. but seriously folks, if you have the means, i highly suggest it. yummm!

Blockbuster Online vs. Netflix

A pal has challenged me to persuade her to adopt Netflix into her life. I am a former Blockbuster Online user, and current Netflix user. Here is my report:

1. (Disclaimer): R and I used Blockbuster Online from last September until about 2 weeks ago. Since September we've used one free trial of Netflix (in February). So I'm much more familiar with Blockbuster Online than with Netflix.

2. What is the SAME for both Blockbuster Online and Netflix:
--if you want the deal where you can have 3 movies out at once and have an unlimited number of movies to rent per month, the cost is almost exactly the same for both services: $19 and some change (after taxes)
--they both use a queue where you save names of movies and put them in priority order
--they both have very large selections of movies
--they both ship movies fairly quickly, usually in 2 days
--they both allow you to pay online and view your payment history very easily
--they both allow you to change your address very easily, and the changes are effective immediately
--they both charge month to month and allow cancellation at any time

3. What I LIKED about Blockbuster Online:
--they gave you 2 e-coupons every month to use at a Blockbuster store nearby for one free rental each
--if you got a wrong movie/damaged movie in the mail, you could notify them and get a replacement disc/next movie sent the very same day (you didn't have to wait until you returned the wrong/damaged movie)
--their website was very user friendly and visually pleasing (to me)

4. What I DISLIKED about Blockbuster Online:
--their website, while nice looking, didn't function that well, especially in my queue; there were several times where I wanted to receive a DVD set in order and it would arrive out of order; also, sometimes the movie in position #1 would be skipped for no reason and you would get #2 or #3...frustrating!
--the availability of DVDs was sometimes bad and you'd have to wait until more copies became available (one time it took 2 weeks)

5. What I LIKE about Netflix:
--the availability of every DVD I've put in my queue so far has been "available now" and ships immediately
--the shipping is more consistent than Blockbuster; i've always received DVDs on the day they are supposed to arrive, never later
--they recommend movies to you as you add them to your queue and as you rate them looking around the site; i've come across a few already that seem like good recommendations
--i've had no trouble with the website functioning; my queue hasn't made a mistake so far, even with DVD sets in order

6. What I DISLIKE about Netflix:
--if you have a damaged disc and DON'T want the same disc sent again you can't get the next movie in your queue until the damaged disc is returned
--if you DO want another copy of the disc sent, it doesn't ship until the next day from when it's reported
--no e-coupons, since they only do online renting
--I've already had to report 3 discs damaged and ask for replacements; i'm hoping this is a fluke, since they were all from the Twin Peaks Season 1 collection

In conclusion: I think that I like Netflix a little better, mostly due to the non-messing-up they manage with my queue order. It's nice to get what I actually want. I also prefer getting the movies a little quicker than with Blockbuster, and also having the better availability with the movies i choose. I'll probably stick with them at least for another month or so.

strange movies you should all see

Mystery Men is a very ridiculous movie that i happen to love. i was introduced to this choice movie back at BYU when i was dating R. he and his roommates (P and J) somehow got me to see it and i fell in love. i remember that P's sister, HATED it and warned me about my agreement to see it. i admit it's weird, it's hated by some, but mostly it's just a heartwarming tale of some misfit superheroes and their wacky adventures.

this movie is also loved by my husband R (obviously) who for the first time, was a real father on Father's Day this year. so i subsequently bought him (among other things like a striped tie and some reese's pb cups) a DVD copy of this movie and am currently watching it. it's so funny! just to give you a taste of it: Ben Stiller (aka Mr. Furious) is currently apologizing to William H. Macy (The Shoveler) very angrily, and then asks him if he's seen his address book since he stormed off. "It's denim, says 'hang loose' on it, picture of a kitten..." Yeah, like i said, ridiculous. yet funny. I challenge you to go and rent this movie and see what i mean. some of you may have already seen it, and for this i commend you.

other shows i've been watching and enjoying lately: Twin Peaks Season 1 (very david lynch-y), Whale Rider (SO exellently good), Serenity (visually cool looking), The Lion the Witch and The Wardrobe (definately did justice to one of my favorite books), and Seinfeld Season 6 (always a pleasure, regardless of season number). On it's way from netflix as we speak is The Office, which ryan and i have both never seen. we tend to like renting things from TV to watch after The Boy goes to bed and R is home from work but homework free (for the next 2 months). we rent tv shows because we have no tv stations to speak of, not even basic cable. as long as you're willing to wait for your favorite shows to be released on DVD it's quite the money-saver. plus, no commercials!

well, the mystery men are about to go have their end-of-movie battle with the evil Casanova Frankenstein, and i must give moral support. happy viewing :)

weekend in sedona

last weekend i made the decision to abandon my baby for a few hours and join R at his work's weekend retreat in sedona. sedona is in the middle of red rock country. so grandma came to babysit and i drove up there and met lots and lots of very accomplished people. i kind of felt like i was at a bizarre job interview. at the end of the summer, based on R's work the next 8-10 weeks, they might offer him a job for post-graduation. so i felt like maybe i could sweeten the deal for them if they met me and i was wonderfully witty and memorable, etc. hopefully this was accomplished, because i started having such a good time with those crazy folks that i mostly forgot my goal to be charming and instead just laughed with them all night. those attorneys know how to have a good time, who knew! here is my report:

1pm: M is down for a nap, grandma arrives, i depart and drive for two hours. about 1 hour into the drive i get cut off by a grandpa and honk angrily at his boat of a car.

3pm: arrive to the hilton lunch deck where the "taco challenge" is underway. a young clerk is attempting to eat 30 taco bell soft tacos in 1 hour. he looks very sick. i meet lots of people, most of which are friendly and dressed in silly outfits made for playing golf (which they had just finished an hour or two before). R has ordered me a Reuben sandwich. yummmmm!

4pm: lunch disperses and R and i go to see our room. i change into a swimsuit and shorts and head over to the spa for my deep tissue massage. oh baby, i'm excited! R goes to the gym while i get my robe and flip flops from the counter. i change into the robe and head into the "stillpoint lounge" to find mental serenity while waiting for my appointment. 2 other ladies are there talking about their salt scrubs and facials. I read a book called "doing nothing and doing it well" or something like that. i feel very zen-like and wise.

4:30pm: my masseuse comes to get me and i finally get my massage. she is now my new best friend. afterwards she offers me a cup of cucumber water. surprisingly cucumbery.

5:30pm: in a relaxed stupor i find the whirlpool with the jets already running and sit in it for 20 minutes. finally i drag myself out to the gym to fetch R. he has done every lift available in the weight room and is then sore for the next three days. this was the most entertaining when he said "ow" for each stair he climbed at home after we returned.

6:45pm: changed into "business casual" for dinner. we go out for drinks and hors d'oeuvres. i meet a few more people, including a somewhat recovered taco challenger. then we all go to the dinner hall to sit down.

8:00pm: for the next 2 or 3 hours R and i are eating and talking. mostly i just remember being impressed with how much people knew about broadway. i've only heard of the show Wicked, but none of the others he spoke of. i realize that i am uncultured swine.

10:00pm: R and i are party poopers and go to sleep in our fabulous beds. best pillows ever!

4:30am: we get up to drive home so i can breastfeed miles when he wakes up at his usual 6:30ish.

6:30ish: we get home and knock on the door to see M looking a little confused as to why we're knocking on the door in the first place. 10 minutes go by and he starts clinging to both of us, having just realized that we DID, in fact, leave him at home and he's shocked and appalled.

so that was my first time away from M for longer than an hour and a half. according to grandma he woke up from his nap and was completely fine with us being gone. he stayed that way through the rest of the day, tromped around the house with grandma and grandpa, and went to bed like a good little boy. so i guess he won't die without me, and that's good to know :) more massages for me.