Acclimatizing

So AZ isn't so bad. We open the windows and night and have fresh air. Hallelujah! We have some friends too. I'm not so keen on constantly saying I want to leave the 6 month summers anymore now that I have some friends to call my very own. :) There's also something to be said for knowing an area too. I have to say some of my acclimatizing has to do with the Children's Museum, preschool, gymnastics, my gym, and various stores like Trader Joe's where I feel like everyone knows my name. Maybe AZ is growing on me after all...

Affirmation link

I found this very interesting, and enlightening.

Letter from Joseph Dallin to Richard Wilkins

Come and see the Prego dance!

Hi friends and family,

As you know, I am a dancer. A modern dancer to be exact, and my first (and last) pregnant performance is coming in just a few days at ASU.

This weekend is the run of "Common Ground", an Emerging Artist ASU modern dance performance. My good friend from back at BYU, Sara Malan-McDonald, has choreographed beautiful work for us to see. I can only get a certain number of tickets for the student price of $7, so let me know if you want a cheaper ticket and I'll try to hook you up. Otherwise, you can check out this link for ticket information: http://herbergercollege.asu.edu/calendar/eventOne.php?ID=1324%3C.

Somehow I have ended up in a lot of the program: I'm the facilitator for the movement experience at the beginning of the concert. I helped choreograph the first piece called "Push/Pull". I'm also in Sara's solo project in all my pregnant glory. You should all come and see if I can keep my balance. There are performances Friday evening, Saturday evening, and Sunday afternoon. Please support the local arts!

Below is the email I got from Sara explaining a little more about the concert and it's choreographers. They have all worked so hard. I hope to see some of you there! Feel free to email me with any questions or write a comment here on the blog.
K
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Dear Friends and Family,

I am very proud to invite you to Emerging Artist 1, October 24th- 26th presented by ASU Herberger College Dance's MFA students, Sara Malan-McDonald and Holly Wooldridge. Sara Malan-McDonald and Holly Wooldridge find common ground in their thesis projects as they question: who gets to dance, how do we frame dance and how do we experience contemporary dance?

Holly Wooldridge explores the dancer's experience in relationship to Antonio Damasio's ideas on consciousness in two unique and kinetic pieces: The Feeling of What Happens, set to the music of French composer Francis Dhomont, is an intimate journey that explores the complexity of human consciousness. Light, a key component in the piece, serves as a metaphor for a heightened level of awareness. It sculpts our focus, confronts the performers, and defines the space we all inhabit. You Are Here was created in collaboration with nine members of the Mesa Center for the Arts Off Center Dance Company in a site-specific piece set in a long hallway outside the Dance Studio Theatre. As the nine dancers manipulate their way in, out and through the space, they transform it from a boring campus hallway into an energetic, colorful space that shrinks and expands with the directional tug and pull of movement.

Sara Malan-McDonald strongly believes that everyone has a story and each story deserves telling. She explores and encourages storytelling through movement in two collaborative dance works: Push / Pull is a collaborative, inter generational dance project exploring relationships of power in the classroom and studio. This highly physical and emotional work offers an insider's view of performers' experiences in the roles of teacher and student and encourages audience members to examine alternatives to an authoritarian teaching model. A Place of Crossing, choreographed by Mary Fitzgerald, is a physical exploration of Sara's personal spiritual journey. Accompanied by a chorus of individuals who have been present at places of crossing throughout her life, Sara wrestles with making sense of her life at this time of change. Watch for gestures inspired by Buddhist and Christian iconography.

For more information regarding the process of my thesis project I encourage you to visit my blog: http://saramfa.blogspot.com/
Tickets can be purchased online, via phone or at the door.
www.herbergercollege.asu.edu/tickets
480.965.6447

No on Prop 8, No on Prop 102

So many Mormons are publicly and actively supporting Prop 8 in California (and Prop 102 here in Arizona) that people may assume that I support these Props just by being Mormon.

I want people to know that some of us are also on the other side. I'm against Prop 8. I just wanted to state it publicly here. I urge you to give money to the No on Prop 8 campaign if you are able, even if you do not live in California. Or just put up a sign in your yard. Or just privately vote and make a difference. They can use your help.

Please also visit MormonsForMarriage to see some of the reasons I have for being against Prop 8. And to see a list of how many donations there are from Mormons to the Yes on Prop 8 campaign, see this link, then look for the "Pages" sidebar and click on "Mormons for Proposition 8 Donors". The spreadsheet it pulls up tracks the money given by Mormons to push Prop 8 through. This massive donation dollar amount in support of Prop 8 is why I feel so strongly about getting some donations to the other side to even it out. See the links below to contribute to No on Prop 8.

The message below is a plea from a friend in California right now. There are useful links at the bottom if you are interested.
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Dear Friends,

In just three weeks, California voters will decide whether to change the California Constitution to single out gay and lesbian couples and eliminate their fundamental right to marry. I believe this is inconsistent with Mormon values and in this final hour I urge you to do what you can to defeat Proposition 8.

So many of us from LDS backgrounds value our own Constitutional protections and believe strongly that the Constitution should protect freedoms, not take them away. Regardless of how any one person or faith feels about marriage for same-sex couples, we know that it is wrong to use the Constitution to treat a group of people unfairly.

The truth is that passing Prop 8 would hurt gay and lesbian couples – our family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors – and devalue their relationships and their lives. Coming from Mormon backgrounds, we believe in the importance of families and want all families to be treated equally and fairly, which includes having the right to marry the person you love.

As you may already know, proponents of Prop 8 have a significant fundraising advantage and are currently blanketing the airwaves with advertisements that contain misinformation designed to scare voters into voting Yes on Prop 8. Despite what the Yes on 8 Campaign would have us believe, the vote on Prop 8 is not about what children are taught in school, whether churches will lose their tax-exempt status, or whether people of faith may define marriage however they choose. The proposition mentions none of these things. The vote is about whether the State of California should take away the right of a group of people to get married and enjoy the dignity and respect that comes with marriage. Doing this would be profoundly wrong.

I call on all people from LDS backgrounds – active members and former members alike, those in California, Utah, and across the country – to make a personal sacrifice and donate to the No on 8 Campaign. You may do so at the following URL:

http://www.actblue.com/page/mormonsagainst8

If you haven't donated yet, please do so; if you already have, please consider doing so again. And please enlist your friends and family by forwarding this message to 10 people.

For those who would like to volunteer to call undecided voters in these final weeks, please contact the No on 8 Campaign to learn how to sign up. You may volunteer at phone banks across California, or you may also phone bank remotely from your home anywhere across the country. Go to this URL to sign up:

http://www.noonprop8.com/action/phone-bank

Thank you for helping to defend the fundamental right to marry for all Californians. Contribute as much as you can today and remember to VOTE NO ON PROP 8!!

Jolly Happy Fun Time

I discovered a wonderful thing today. Well two, actually: 1. The mailed coupon you actually use (like for a museum). 2. The Children's Museum of Phoenix.

M spent 2 hours completely happy and distracted and most importantly, NOT bored. This is important because I've been a pregnant worthless slug for a while now. And there is no preschool this week. I'm pretty sure I'm the most boring mom ever. But not today! Today I was super-cool-mom just by driving somewhere, sitting in an air conditioned building, and occasionally saying "wow!" The museum is so great! It's very hands on, has lots of things to do involving running around, has a craft room (free!), and has strategically placed chairs for those of us with swollen feet and a tendency for feeling faint.

So, y'all should go try it out. I liked it so much I bought a membership for a year. M and I both will be happier for it.

Pajama Party

Well, M was up at about 1:30 this morning yelling for his water because he wanted to put it up his nose. This is because it's been really dry here in AZ and he's getting over a cold. Plus, sometimes we squirt saline drops up his nose so he thought his water sippy would do the trick. He is a strange child. In fact, he asks for those drops sometimes which I find amazing considering how loud he screamed as a baby when we did that to him. Oh man!

He rolled around trying to fall asleep for another 3 hours. This was after he had a humidifier, nose drops, more water, a potty break, vitamins, allergy medicine, and a stern talking-to by his father.

I figured since I was up anyways I would watch the monitor and surf the information superhighway. Then I watched Sex and the City and Conan. And then he finally fell asleep and so did I. With my five pillows. I'm not kidding. Four to be propped up on and one to hold. It's ridiculous. And I have 3 more months to go of weird loose bones while sleeping. I'm just glad it's my favorite time of the year! Perhaps this will distract me from all pregnancy woes.

P.S. In honor of the first day of October I'm making the pumpkin cookies I like so well today, with M.

Initials

So I've changed all the first names on my blog to first initials. If anyone has my blog listed on their blog, would you mind just putting it under "k-land" like the title here? Thanks! (I don't want to go totally private, this is my compromise :))

Ranting

So IN CHURCH today I was told how to vote on Prop 102. Prop 102 in Arizona states that marriage is defined as one man and one woman.

Here's what I DON'T have a problem with:

• The Church taking a moral stance.
• Mormons, who have given this ample thought, voting yes on Prop 102.
• People in general feeling differently from me. It's fine.

Here's what I DO have a problem with:

• The Church taking a political stance: especially after saying they officially do not take a stance.
• Mormons voting yes on Prop 102, for the sole reason that the Church told them so.
• Being told in church that "they aren't telling us how to vote, but go vote yes on Prop 102." Contradictory? Out of line? In this Mormon Democrat blogger's opinion, yes.
• Hearing fear tactics that are misleading. See this (fear tactics) but only if you then see this (a legal breakdown of the tactics).
  
• Mormons taking a suggestion from the First Presidency and making it into Doctrine, capital "D". Again, in this Mormon Democrat blogger's opinion, it's not doctrine. Fortunately I was also at least told in today's (appalling) lesson at least, that we should ultimately vote on our conscience. I will.

Alrighty. Sorry if this offends, but it's my blog.

Ultrasound Follow-up

We saw Dr. S yesterday, our perinatologist (sp?), and she had this to say:

KIDNEYS:

• my amniotic fluid level is normal, which is especially good with E because it means that he's peeing a lot (amniotic fluid is glorified baby pee I'm told :)), which means that his kidneys are functioning the way they should.
  
• they still can't tell whether or not he has a connected horseshoe kidney, or just abnormally shaped individual kidneys. (We go back in October to follow up again; the older he gets, the better they can see and diagnose.)
• he does, however, have 3 fluid-filled cysts (benign) towards the left side of his kidney(s): this doesn't affect function of the kidneys, and most people have them and don't know it; it's not as common in fetuses and infants, but cysts DO run in R's family...)
  
• when E is born, they will do a renal ultrasound to make sure his kidneys are okay; I don't know how often he'll need this done, but I'm assuming they keep an eye on him for things like urinary tract infections and kidney infections.
  

CLEFT LIP/PALATE

• his cleft lip and palate also look fine, the width being an average size: right cleft lip, right cleft palate
  
• however, they saw a little shadow on his LEFT lip (but NOT the palate). So it's possible that he has a slight cleft on the left lip as well: obviously it's not nearly as wide since they cannot tell if it is there or not. In October maybe they'll be able to tell if he has the two cleft lips or not (two cleft lips are called "bilateral cleft lip": as opposed to just one which is called "unilateral cleft lip")
  
• this is also something they will be able to see more clearly as he gets older. It doesn't affect his surgery either way, nor his chances of recovering well. It DOES affect how he'll be able to eat, so I'm hoping that he'll have a strong sucking instinct to make up for all this :)

So, nothing scary. We're just filling in the blanks at this point. I feel somewhat prepared for how he'll look, but you never know. R is worried about it too. I think we have some challenges ahead with feeding, but fortunately other people have done this before and we can ask them questions and get their help.

To all those planning to visit:

• Prepare yourself so that R and I won't stress out about your reaction to E's appearance. Look up pictures of cleft lips and palates. Look at before and after photos. It really helps. Even with preparation, it will still be surprising. Don't be embarassed, we're going through it together.
  
• Don't be afraid to ask questions about E's recovery, or eating, or anything like that. We'll be happy to answer, and it's quite complicated. You should have questions.
  
• Don't worry about your kids asking blunt questions. We have a 3 year old, we're used to it! But seriously, it won't offend us, just come and be yourself.
• Please don't say things like: "I can't even tell." or "Don't worry, he'll be so handsome after surgery." We want to love him the way he is, both before AND after surgery.

Well, I think those are all my thoughts for today. I think I'll find some before and after pictures myself and post them here so you can see them. To start out, click here to go to the Cleft Advocate photo gallery. Thanks for all your thoughts, prayers, and love. We're doing much better :)

Another Favorite Couple Websites

I've been gearing up for having another baby in the house. In light of recent Bisphenol A discoveries, as well as not-so-recent concerns about PVC, pthalates, and lead, I have been reading up on sippy cups, bottles, toys, dishes, Tupperware, etc.

I really like the comprehensive lists that I have found. They aren't all inclusive and I still have a lot of unanswered questions (mostly about specific toys), but they help. I was happy to find that that sippy cups we already use are relatively safe. They are the Playtex insulator brand. And the "Take n' Toss" utensils, bowls, cups, and straws that we have are also at least BPA-free. Please take the time to find replacements if you are using a hazardous product currently.

• BPA-free lists: sippy cups, bottles, milk/liquid/powder storage, baby food/storage, breast pumps
• BPA-free lists: teethers, pacifiers
  
• products to buy that already are screened for no BPA, PVC, and pthalates
• generally helpful websites: The Soft Landing, Safe Mama, Z Recommends (especially this post), EWG,

Also, for reference in other daily products:

• survey of common children's brands, and their toxicity
• quick rundown of ingredients to avoid (in personal care products)
• list of "Top 5" products and their rating: shampoo, conditioner, body wash, liquid soap, toothpaste, sunscreen, baby wipes, lotion/moisturizer, diaper cream, baby powder, play makeup
  

Baby Wraps

So instead of getting a Baby Bjorn carrier I think I will get one of those nifty stretchy wrap thingys. My friend J recommended one, and after looking them up online today I think I agree. The people on Amazon that reviewed the Baby Bjorn said that it's great but only works if your baby is smaller (15 pounds or less). But these wrap thingys go up to 30 or 35 pounds. Plus they look pretty versatile. My SIL has one, but I don't remember which brand. The one I like is here, and it's, shockingly, on my wish list.

I think I'm going to attempt to make my own baby food this time around, by the way. We have a really cool local co-op that has organic food baskets every other weekend. So we'll see. I will accept any encouragement from folks who have tried it. I already have a good cookbook to go from: First Meals by Annabel Karmel. I'm doing it!

P.S.

I've added things to the wish lists, including little notes of explanation, about the various baby gear discoveries I have been making. It makes a nesting mom feel prepared.

Cleft Discoveries

I've been trying to gain some understanding of what to expect after E is born. I mostly wonder about what it will be like trying to breastfeed him. It sounds like anything goes: he could latch, he might not, he might take to a Medela Special Needs feeder, or a Mead Johnson/Ross nipple, or a Pigeon Bottle, he might spit up a lot, he might have milk come out his nose and choke, sheesh. So far I've procured a 12 pack of cloth diapers for burp cloths, and one Medela bottle from the surgeon. Plus, this link explains distinctions between the three kinds of bottles available. Slowly but surely I'm feeling knowledgeable. I'm leaning towards the Medela bottles because they are made of safe plastic. It is the most expensive bottle, but it has no BPA, no pthalates, no PVC, no lead, etc. But guess what option I thought of? Glass bottles.

I know, I know, they could break and they are heavier, but what about this?!! They make glass bottles with a silicone "skin" so that it doesn't break, slip, etc. The ones I found are ever so cute (polka dots, I'm a sucker), and also happen to fit the nipple size of a Medela Special Needs feeder. I found this out with the help of a lovely online messageboard for cleft palate folks. It's so nice to talk to people who have already done the trial and error work for you. Anyways, I think these glass bottles will last a long time without wearing out, they will be easier to heat if I decide to do so, they hold more milk, and will generally end up being less expensive. They are about $12 a bottle.

On the other hand, there are also these bottles by Green to Grow. They are cheaper than the Medela bottles, made of plastic, but with the same benefit of being free of all those bad plastic things I already listed. Again, they fit the Medela nipple size=lucky me. Also, this brand is at Whole Foods, so I can go look at them and bring the bottle I have to make sure it fits.

This morning: didn't know anything about these bottles other than how expensive they were. Now I know: where to buy Medela bottles and teats, where to buy other bottles that are cheaper, safe, and still fit the Medela teats. Hooray! Now, I just need to bug people about breast pumps...

new link list: wishing!

So I went a little crazy with the Cheez Whiz and put wish list links on my side bar to your immediate left. Look at them! Look at them now! Please feel free to buy me everything in the world I want for myself, my R and my kids. If you don't, we are not friends anymore. No pressure.

But seriously, E's is mostly diapers and breastfeeding paraphernalia. I will add more things that are fun as I begin nesting more ferociously in the next 2-3 months. I also need to get out all the bins full of clothes and toys from when M was a wee one and go through them. That will help me nest a little more responsibly. I feel so organized!

R's response to my Radiohead post

=Hi friends,
I've never had a guest blogger before, but I find my husband so funny that I thought I would post the comment he made about my previous post idolizing/worshiping Radiohead. So please enjoy:

Hey Cyberbuddies-

I don't usually get involved with K's blog, but I figured I would add my two cents.

This was a great show, possibly outstripping "Ska Patrick's Day" or even The Brad Mehldau Trio as my favorite show that I've been to. In fact, it was so good that Radiohead may finally have obtained my elusive favorite band status (competing with such heavyweights as Pink Floyd and the Miles Davis Quintet of the late sixties.

My only complaints were the opening band, which was openly satanic. That didn't bother me so much as their satanic refusal to play more than one chord per song or sing in-key. They sucked. And they just kept going on and on.

My other complaint (more of a wish) is that Radiohead didn't play at least one of the following songs from OK Computer: "let down" "subterranean homesick alien" or "electioneering." But most of the chart-topping hits were there, so I can't complain.

My Dance in October

Here's the link to buy tickets and get information on times and places. Please come! More information as the performance date nears.

Visit to the surgeon

The surgeon we have for E seems really great. My friend A who has had 2 children with cleft lip/palate recommended using The Cleft Palate Foundation to find teams in our area. So the doctor my OB/GYN recommended happens to be the head of one of the AZ teams. Hooray! R and I met him this morning and he seems great. The nurse talked to us as well, mostly about breastfeeding issues, and we got a special needs feeder from her to try and get used to.

So E will have the lip surgery around 2.5-3 months (10 weeks or so), and he has to weigh 10 pounds. I think there is a rule of 10s: 10 weeks, 10 pounds, 10mg (?) of hemoglobin. Then, the palate surgery will be at 6-7 months. Both surgeries are overnight stay, and I think he said that the lip surgery was about 60 minutes of anesthesia. I'm not sure if the palate one is longer, so I'll let you know when I find out. E is due January 1st, so that puts him in surgery around March, which they said is good because RSV season will be about over.

That reminds me: I'm publicly announcing that I'm not taking E anywhere for the first 3 months. If you want to come over and see him you must wash hands and not be sick at all! I may even keep some face masks available. Not kidding. I don't want him catching anything on top of everything else. So, y'all know :)

I'll keep you posted on any new information. The next bit will probably come after the ultrasound next week. Fingers crossed that everything looks great in there!

Speechless, or not.

So, Radiohead. Need I say more?
They played everything I wanted to hear with the exception of one song, they sounded amazing, I was able to wear my Vans and a sweater (I love California!!), we took pictures, we danced and even clapped (which we don't do), and generally felt the love. It was one of the most singularly amazing experiences of my life. I think you might not totally appreciate it, unless you are already a devoted fan. Radiohead, in my honest opinion, takes artistry to a new level. The stage design, the camera work, the sound design, not to mention the music itself, and not to mention the artists themselves, were all perfection. It's transcending! My only missing piece: a Radiohead T-shirt, which I did not want to wait in line for. So I shall buy one on the the website. Okay, pictures:
prior to the concert
during the concert
blue stage
green-purple stage

So, in conclusion: the best thing ever! With my birthday money I have purchased/received 2 more Radiohead CDs: Pablo Honey (which I used to own, but lost), and I Might Be wrong (a collection of live songs). I've also gone a little crazy looking up EPs and b-sides and whatnot. My amazon wish list is chock full.

Second Half of Test Results

Good news: the full chromosome analysis is back and is completely normal. Of course, there's always something more it could be, so they're going to run another test that looks really close at tiny parts of the chromosomes to rule a few more things out. But I don't think that it will be anything that rare.

The geneticist herself said that even though unrelated birth defects usually indicate an underlying problem, she has seen this happen before with her own eyes: two unrelated birth defects that just happen. I think E is one like that :) Thanks for all your prayers, thoughts, fasts, hopes, and wishes. I already felt like I dodged a bullet with M coming out perfect, so now I really feel like I'm beating the odds. I think we may just be a family of four after this little scare. Wow.

The plan now:

• See a cranio-facial surgeon next Tuesday. He'll be taking care of the lip and palate surgeries that happen around 3 months old and 12 months old, respectively. When we meet we get to ask all kinds of questions and hear the plan for the first year of E's life. I'm guessing that I will have yet another ultrasound so they can track his development and plan for surgery with as much information as possible. I'll keep you posted on how he looks at various checkpoints along the way.
• Go to my regular OB/GYN checkup next Thursday. I'm assuming they'll put us in contact with a pediatrician a little earlier than usual. I like the one M has, so I may call and set up something with her in a few weeks. I'm also assuming they'll put us in contact with a pedatric geneticist to make sure everything is good at the birth.
• Meet with the La Leche League to gain support for breastfeeding issues that will inevitably come up. Also, try and find "special needs feeder" bottles and nipples made with safe plastic (no pthalates, no biphesonol-A) for E in case he can't latch. (Special needs feeders are specifically made for cleft lip/cleft palate babies to help them eat). Plea: anyone who knows anything about this please share!
• Go to another ultrasound on September 26th to track growth, kidney development, and cleft lip/palate development.

So there you go. Updates. Finally! I've been pacing for the last few days, and now I'm just going to chill, do some yoga, have some reading time, and watch the Sopranos with R. Phew.

First Half of Test Results Back

The geneticist called just now and said the major chromosomal problems have come back negative. So that means there's no Trisomy 13, 18, or 21 (Down's), and the X and Y chromosomes are in tact. Now we wait for the testing to come back for any partial chromosomal abnormalities. The geneticist sounded hopeful though, so that's a small relief. More news to come late this week or early next week, to rule it ALL out. We're still praying and fasting.