Homemade Bourbon Vanilla

I love the bourbon vanilla from Trader Joe's.  So I figured I would make my own and see how it compared.  I love my version, but it tastes different than the TJ's brand.  I recommend either one.

(I may make another batch with rum or vodka, and then experiment with mixing bourbon vanilla into the new batch.  Perhaps a combination will yield a similar flavor to the TJ's bourbon vanilla?)

Regardless, this vanilla is pretty kickass.  And if you want to save money, this is a biggie.  I have also thought that homemade vanilla would make an excellent, frugal Christmas gift.  Get some cute bottles and give the gift of great flavor.  You could even experiment with different flavors.  But remember to start by November!  It takes about a month to get the right flavor.

Homemade Bourbon Vanilla

one bottle good, spicy bourbon (I used Wild Turkey)

6-8 vanilla beans

1.  Pour bourbon into a glass canning jar.  Split vanilla beans down the middle to release all those delicious vanilla bits, but do not cut all the way through.  No need to scrape the beans or do anything else, just put split beans into bourbon and screw on a lid.

2. Put the glass jar in a paper bag to keep light out.  Shake it once a day for 2-4 weeks, to get the vanilla beans to release their flavor.

(Justified?) Cheating

Today's breakfast and lunch were totally legit.  I repeated the same breakfasts and lunches from the last two days, to keep it simple: super scramble, bacon and milk, and then salmon roll-ups, carrots, celery, kefir and kvass.  I even started my dinner out on the right foot: leftover lamb curry.  But then I gave in to something I had been thinking all day.  That I wanted to eat something whole grain that had NOT been soaked, sprouted or sourdoughed.  And I wanted to do it on purpose to get rid of the heavy metals I had been feeling build up in my body the last few days.  Let me explain.

The point of soaking grains, beans, nuts, and seeds is to reduce phytic acid and enzyme inhibitors (this is true for nuts in particular).  Here is a good "how to" on soaking.  And here is one on sprouting.  If you don't soak or sprout your grains, then the phytic acid doesn't allow your body to properly soak up nutrients in the grains, like trace minerals including calcium, magnesium, etc.  It also can pull these good minerals from your body.  You can become depleted of calcium, and have problems with your teeth, for example.  Like me!

I am to the point where I never consume a grain, legume, nut or seed without preparing it properly.  My body takes too much of a beating if I don't follow this rule.  I have been suffering from adrenal fatigue this year, and my body has been hormonally out of whack ever since I conceived E.  I have noticed that the more real food I consume, the better I feel.  I'm not as tired, I have more energy, my emotional ups and downs are manageable, I'm happy.

I have recently started to oil pull every morning.  Oil pulling help pull toxins out of your body.  It helps keeps your teeth strong and plaque-free.  It helps with adrenal fatigue.  Since I suffer from the fatigue and poor tooth health, I committed to oil pull daily.  I learned later, however, that if you have silver fillings oil pulling can cause them to leak heavy metals, like mercury.

I noticed last week that one of my silver fillings was very sore.  I stopped oil pulling for a couple of days, and the pain went away.  I started oil pulling again and the pain returned.  So I decided two days ago to stop for good.  Once my silver fillings are replaced with white ones, I will take up oil pulling again.  The pain was my indicator that my fillings were being affected.  Only after that did I realize that I had been feeling very fatigued the last several days.  I have been affected by this extra heavy metal dose in my body the last few days.

So that brings me back to eating non-soaked whole grains, on purpose, to pull the mercury out of my body.  So I did.  After I had my bowl of curry, I had a bowl of multi-grain Joe's O's with raw milk and a spoonful of rapadura.  Maybe it's the placebo effect, but I have already been feeling better.  I am hoping the phytic acid in the oats and wheat of that bowl of cereal gives me a boost to get the excess mercury out of my system.  Then tomorrow morning I can start afresh, following the meal plan, and not needing a nap. :)

Lunch: Salmon Dill Cream Cheese Roll-ups, Crackers, Celery Sticks, Carrot Dilly Sticks, Kefir, Kvass

That's a really long title, but everything fit onto one small plate.
Coconut Oil: two tablespoons coconut oil taken in raspberry leaf tea
Lunch:

• Smoked Salmon Roll-Ups With Dill Cream Cheese
• Rich, Whole Grain Spelt Crackers (soaked)
• Lacto-fermented Carrot Dilly Sticks and celery sticks
• Strawberry Kefir Soda
• Beet Kvass

Smoked Salmon Roll-Ups with Dill Cream Cheese

serves two

6 tablespoons cream cheese, softened

2 tablespoons chopped fresh dill, or 1 teaspoon dried

salt salt and pepper to taste

4 ounces sliced smoken salmon, preferably wild*

(*I found very reasonably priced wild smoked salmon at Trader Joe's, woohoo!)

1. In a small bowl, mix cream cheese with dill and season with salt and pepper.  Spread mixture over salmon slices and roll up.  Chill well.  Slice into 1/2-inch rounds.  Serve with toothpicks, or on crackers.

Rich, Whole Grain Spelt Crackers

1 cup plain, whole milk yogurt

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened

3 1/2 cups freshly ground whole grain flour (I have used spelt and whole red winter wheat, both with good success)

2 teaspoons sea salt

1. Cream yogurt and butter together. Add flour and salt and stir to combine.

2. Cover with a towel and a plate, find a warm place to soak 12-24 hours (or overnight).

3. After the soaking period, preheat oven to 400 degrees.

4. At this point you can add any herbs, cheeses, or spices to your dough you might like to try. I have only attempted cracked pepper and parmesan cheese, but it was delicious! The possibilities are endless, but the crackers are truly delicious all on their own. Don't feel you need this step, it is optional.

5. Use white flour, sprouted flour, or arrowroot powder (because each of these options have no phytic acid) to roll your dough out very thin. Use a pastry or pizza cutter to cut dough into small squares or rectangles.

6. Place onto a parchment-lined baking sheet. You can put the crackers fairly close to each other, they do not spread. You can prick with a fork, but I have not seen much of a need for it.

7. Bake 8-12 minutes, checking every minute or so after 8 minutes have gone by to make sure they do not overbrown. You know the crackers are done when they are slightly brown on the edges and the middles of the crackers look drier.

8. Remove from baking sheet to cooling racks immediately, but be gentle so they do not break. Enjoy!

Lacto-fermented Dill Carrot Sticks

several carrots, peeled, cut into sticks (to fit into your glass jar)

1 tablespoon whey

1 tablespoon salt

1 tablespoon fresh dill, chopped, or 1 teaspoon dried dill

filtered water

1. Put carrots into a glass canning jar, packed tightly.  Add whey, salt, dill.  Then add water to fill the jar, screw on a lid tightly and leave at room temperature for several days.  It's normal for the water in the jar to get cloudy.  Taste after 5 days and see if you like the flavor, if not, wait a few more days and taste again.

Strawberry Kefir Soda

1 package hydrated kefir grains

1/2 cup organic sugar

1-2 tablespoons molasses

1 pastured egg shell, rinsed clean

1 cup diced fruit

Note: do not use tap water, it will kill your kefir grains; do not use Brita water, it doesn't remove flouride and other toxins that can kill your kefir grains

1. Fill a half gallon glass jar with filtered water.  Now pour a little of the water out into a saucepan and bring to a boil.  Turn off heat and add sugar to boiling water, stirring until sugar dissolves, and then pour sugar-water back into the jar to fill it up again.  

2. Add molasses to the jar of water and stir with a wooden spoon to mix in.  Gently add water kefir grains and egg shell.

3. Cover with a dish towel or cheesecloth to keep out dust and bugs and so the kefir can breathe.

4.  Let sit on the counter for 1-2 days.  Then, pour contents through a strainer into a new jar.  Discard egg shell.  Reuse kefir grains for your next batch.

5.  With the strained kefir in the new jar, you can now choose a fruit to flavor the kefir.  I like using strawberries.  Add diced fruit to kefir jar, cover again, and let sit at room temperature for 1 more day.

6.  Remove cover and replace with a screw top lid.  Leave at room temperature for a couple of hours to build up fizziness.  Place in refrigerator to stop the fermentation process.

Beet Kvass

2-4 beets, peeled, and cut in a large dice

1/4 cup whey

1 tablespoon sea salt

1. Place beets into a half gallon glass jar.  They should fill the jar about 1/3 of the way up.  Add whey and salt.  Add water to fill the jar.  

2.  Cover with a cloth to keep bugs and dust out, leave at room temperature for 2 days.  

3.  Using a strainer, remove diced beets from kvass.  Then using a screw top lid, transfer to the refrigerator to stop the fermentation process.

Breakfast: Super Scramble, Bacon and Milk

I'm really exhausted today, so I'm just going to post the recipes and expound more on things tomorrow.
Coconut Oil and Fermented Cod Liver Oil: two tablespoons coconut oil taken in raspberry leaf tea, and two capsules FCLO
Breakfast: 

• Super Scramble and sausage or bacon (I had bacon)
• Cup of raw milk

Super Scramble

serves two

2 whole eggs

2 egg yolks

1 tablespoon cream

pinch of sea salt

2 tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped, or one teaspoon dried parsley

1.  Whisk eggs and cream together in a bowl, breaking up the yolks.  Add salt and parsley and scramble over medium low heat until eggs are cooked through.

Dinner: Red Lamb Curry, Watercress Endive Salad, Lacto-Fermented Sour Pickles, Raw Milk

Tonight's dinner was not only surprisingly delicious, but surprisingly easy to make.  When I read "curry" I imagined being in the kitchen for an hour chopping things and doing various steps.  Not so.  And I was so glad, because I am bone tired tonight.  I should mention that it really helped that I didn't need to go to the store for anything either, since I had planned ahead and bought all the ingredients last Sunday.

Coconut oil: 2 tablespoons taken in pomegranate white tea 20 minutes before dinner
Dinner:

• Leftover red meat curry: I used leftover lamb from Wednesday
• Watercress Endive Salad with Balsamic Dressing
• Lacto-fermented sauerkraut: I subbed Bubbie's pickles, since my kraut is still fermenting and Bubbie's uses lacto-fermentation
• Choice of Quick and Easy Beverage: I drank raw milk, but I could've done kefir or kvass

Watercress Endive Salad

serves 4

2 bunches watercress, stems removed

4 heads Belgium endive

1 head radicchio, or 1/4 head red cabbage, finely shredded

1 small red onion, thinly sliced

2 tablespoons toasted pine nuts

1/2 cup Balsamic Dressing

2 ounces blue cheese, crumbled

1.  Wash and dry watercress.  Remove outer leaves of endive and slice at 1/4-inch intervals.  In a large bowl, mix all ingredients except cheese with dressing and divide among 4 plates.  Sprinkle cheese over salad and serve with dressing.

Balsamic Dressing

makes 3/4 cup

1 teaspoon grainy Dijon-style mustard

2 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar

1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil, or Mary's Oil Blend

2 teaspoons expeller-pressed flax oil

1.  Shake all ingredients in a small plastic container with a lid.  It's a lot easier than whisking :D

Leftover Red Meat Curry

2 tablespoons lard or Mary's Oil Blend

2 cups leftover beef or lamb, cut into 1/4-inch pieces

1 can whole coconut milk

2 cups beef stock

1 teaspoon red curry paste

1-inch piece ginger, peeled and chopped

juice of 1 lemon or 2 limes

1 teaspoon coconut or maple sugar (coconut sugar is sometimes called palm sugar)

1 teaspoon sea salt

2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil leaves

1 red bell pepper, seeded and cut into strips

1 cup Chinese peas, ends removed and cut on an angle into 1/2-inch pieces (I used sugar snap peas, I couldn't find Chinese peas)

1. Warm lard in a large pot over medium heat.  Add meat and saute, stirring frequently, for 10 minutes, or until meat has browned. 

2.  Add remaining ingredients and simmer until vegetables are tender (it took about 10-15 minutes).

(Cross-posted.)

First Hiccup

You may notice that I never posted dinner on Friday.  That's because I was about to make the Lamb Curry last night when M came out of my room and said that there were ants all over my bed.  It was most unfortunately true.  Blaaahhhh!!  We have had ants bombarding our house for a week now.  They win not win this war, haha!  But I digress.

So needless to say, I spent dinnertime cleaning up ants with a vacuum and doing several loads of laundry.  But do not fear, gentle reader, I improvised a dinner that passed muster with Eat Fat, Lose Fat.  I made eggs and bacon and put them on a sprouted hamburger bun with raw cheese, had a glass of raw milk and called it good.

As far as today goes, I ate the same breakfast and lunch as yesterday.  Coconut Smoothie and milk in the morning, and Hazelnuts, Cheese, Fruit, Kvass, and Kefir for lunch.  Although today I opted for organic strawberries instead of the apple.  So there you go, it's a Real Food Miracle!

Lunch: Crispy Nuts, Raw Cheese, Kefir, Beet Kvass, Honeycrisp Apple

This is my kind of lunch for a hot day: no cooking!

Coconut Oil: taken 20 minutes before lunch in tangerine ginger tea
Lunch:

• Crispy nuts, I used hazelnuts
• Raw Cheese, I had raw cheddar
• One piece fresh fruit, I had a honeycrisp apple
• One cup spritzer or purchased kombucha, I used kefir and a little beet kvass (I don't know if that's allowed!)

The health benefits of kefir and kvass are numerous.  They are both lacto-fermented beverages rich in probiotic bacteria.  The more probiotic foods you eat, the better your body can balance itself against the toxins and germs out in the world.  This is why so many people in the real food community trouble themselves with homemade yogurt, pickles, kefir and the like.

The good bacteria that grow when you make homemade lacto-fermented foods and drinks are good for your gut.  Most of the probiotics you may have heard of are in the form of capsules at the store or pharmacy.  Ever wonder where they originally came from?  Traditionally fermented foods!  These days the only fermented foods we are familiar with are beer, wine, and yogurt.  There are so many more than that.  And they can be truly delicious.  This is what we need to be truly well.  It is how we evolved.

Water Kefir

1 package hydrated kefir grains

1/2 cup organic sugar

1-2 tablespoons molasses

1 pastured egg shell, rinsed clean

1 cup diced fruit

Note: do not use tap water, it will kill your kefir grains; do not use Brita water, it doesn't remove flouride and other toxins that can kill your kefir grains

1. Fill a half gallon glass jar with filtered water.  Now pour a little of the water out into a saucepan and bring to a boil.  Turn off heat and add sugar to boiling water, stirring until sugar dissolves, and then pour sugar-water back into the jar to fill it up again.  

2. Add molasses to the jar of water and stir with a wooden spoon to mix in.  Gently add water kefir grains and egg shell.

3. Cover with a dish towel or cheesecloth to keep out dust and bugs and so the kefir can breathe.

4.  Let sit on the counter for 1-2 days.  Then, pour contents through a strainer into a new jar.  Discard egg shell.  Reuse kefir grains for your next batch.

5.  With the strained kefir in the new jar, you can now choose a fruit to flavor the kefir.  I like using strawberries.  Add diced fruit to kefir jar, cover again, and let sit at room temperature for 1 more day.

6.  Remove cover and replace with a screw top lid.  Leave at room temperature for a couple of hours to build up fizziness.  Place in refrigerator to stop the fermentation process.

Beet Kvass

2-4 beets, peeled, and cut in a large dice

1/4 cup whey

1 tablespoon sea salt

1. Place beets into a half gallon glass jar.  They should fill the jar about 1/3 of the way up.  Add whey and salt.  Add water to fill the jar.  

2.  Cover with a cloth to keep bugs and dust out, leave at room temperature for 2 days.  

3.  Using a strainer, remove diced beets from kvass.  Then using a screw top lid, transfer to the refrigerator to stop the fermentation process.

(Cross-posted.)

Breakfast: Coconut Smoothie

Coconut oil and Fermented Cod Liver Oil: 2 tablespoons coconut oil taken in tangerine ginger tea, and 2 capsules FCLO

Breakfast: Coconut Smoothie, and Raw Milk

I really enjoyed breakfast this morning.  The smoothie was smooth and slightly sweet, and not very coconutty.  It is a great quick breakfast.  I even drank it in the car like people on the go do.

Coconut Smoothie

1 ripe banana
2 egg yolks
1/2 cup coconut milk
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla

1. Blend all ingredients together in a blender.  Enjoy!

(Cross-posted.)

Dinner: Leg of Lamb w/ Root Vegetable, Coconut Corn Soup, Sauerkraut and Raw Milk

Coconut Oil: 2 tablespoons taken in tangerine ginger tea
Dinner: 

• Leg of Lamb with Root Vegetables: carrots, turnips, new potatoes
• Leftover Coconut Corn Soup
• Sauerkraut (mine isn't ready because it's still fermenting, so I am subbing lacto-fermented pickles)
• Raw Milk or Coconut Milk Tonic (I am having raw milk)

I just put my leg of lamb into a broth of white wine and water herbed with several teaspoons of dried thyme and dried rosemary, several cloves of unpeeled garlic, and several bay leaves.  It is going to braise for 3 hours and then I will add my root vegetables for another hour.  Therefore: 4 hour leg of lamb.  

I looked at the recipe in Eat Fat, Lose Fat and sort of combined it with this recipe for 4-Hour Lamb I saw from Ina Garten when I was watching Barefoot Contessa a few weeks ago.  I did that because Ina's recipe uses a Dutch oven to braise the meat over a long period of time, and that sounds delicious.   She also browns it first before putting it in the oven.  I will post the hybrid recipe I used.  Someday I will try the book version, it sounds good too.

A note about ingredients: I found the best price for lamb at Whole Foods, where a leg of lamb was on sale for $4.99/lb.  I always buy Kerrygold butter from Trader Joe's, because they have the best price.  Kerrygold is the cheapest grass-fed butter I can find around here.  Sea salt is much better for you than iodized salt which has additives.  Most of my root vegetables are organic, which I buy in bulk on Azure Standard.  You can do your own searching in your area, but make sure you know where your food comes from.

4-Hour Leg of Lamb

by K

1 small leg of lamb
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) melted butter
sea salt and pepper to taste

1 bottle (750 mL) dry white wine (I used Sauvignon Blanc)

2 cups water

15 sprigs fresh thyme, or a palmful of dried thyme

15 sprigs fresh rosemary, or a palmful of dried rosemary

6 bay leaves

2 heads of garlic, broken up into cloves, unpeeled

4-6 carrots, peeled, cut into large sticks

2-3 turnips, quartered

6 new potatoes, cut in half or quartered

1 onion, sliced

3-4 cups beef stock

1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees.  Place Dutch oven over medium heat until hot.  Meanwhile, rub leg of lamb with 1/4 cup melted butter (reserve other 1/2 cup) and season generously with salt and pepper.  Sear in hot Dutch oven on all sides until browned all over.  Remove leg of lamb and set on a plate.  

2.  Add entire bottle of wine and water to the Dutch oven, scraping all the browned bits up with a wooden spoon or spatula.  Add thyme, rosemary, bay leaves, and garlic to the liquid.  Place leg of lamb back into the Dutch oven, cover with a lid and place in the oven.

3.  Cook, covered, for four hours.

4.  Meanwhile, peel and chop vegetables.  Put onto a roasting pan or jelly roll pan lined with parchment. Brush or drizzle with remaining 1/2 cup melted butter, season with salt and pepper, and put in the oven on a rack underneath the Dutch oven during the final hour of the four hours of cooking.

5.  In a saucepan, reduce 4 cups of beef stock down to 1 or 2 cups of stock.  This way it will be concentrated down to add later to the sauce.

6.  Remove Dutch oven from oven and remove lid.  Remove leg of lamb from the Dutch oven, set on a plate, and cover with foil.  Check vegetables to see if they are tender.  If they are, remove them from the oven and cover with foil as well.  If not, let them roast a little longer while you make the sauce.

7. Add reduced beef stock to the Dutch oven, over medium high heat on the stove.  Bring liquid in the Dutch oven to a rapid boil, reducing down to one cup or so.  Season with salt to taste.  Serve over lamb and vegetables.

(Cross-posted.)

Breakfast: Soaked Oatmeal w/ Raw Milk

Coconut Oil and Fermented Cod Liver Oil: 2 tablespoons coconut oil taken in tangerine ginger tea and two capsules of FCLO, taken 20 minutes before breakfast


Breakfast: Soaked Oatmeal with butter, maple syrup, and Coconut Sprinkles, one cup of whole raw milk


Breakfast was surprisingly good this morning.  I have made soaked oatmeal before, and I like it fine but it isn't usually my favorite.  I prefer eggs and bacon to grains in the morning.  But I was very pleasantly surprised by this particular bowl of oatmeal.  I usually don't add butter to my oatmeal but it was a welcome addition indeed.  The buttery, mapley smoothness was punctuated by the crunchiness of the coconut sprinkles.  No kidding, this is my new favorite way to have oatmeal.

It was also nice to have a warm breakfast after waking up with cramps and a baby who was feeling a little...grumpy.  I have been feeling pretty good the last couple of days on the new food regimen.  I like having my meals planned out for me, and I like trying new things.  Tonight I am trying lamb for the first time.  And last night I had blue cheese salad which I am really trying to like!

Soaked Oatmeal with Butter, Maple Syrup, and Coconut Sprinkles

1 cup rolled oats

1 cup warm water

2 tablespoons whey, lemon juice, or yogurt

• Combine oats, warm water and whey in a glass bowl, cover with a towel and let soak overnight or 24 hours.

1 teaspoon sea salt

1 cup filtered water

• Transfer soaked oatmeal to a saucepan, add sea salt and water and bring to a boil.  Then lower to a simmer for 1-2 minutes, until oatmeal thickens.

1-2 tablespoons butter (or coconut oil)

2-4 tablespoons maple syrup (or other wholesome sweetener like Rapadura, Sucanat, honey, maple sugar, date sugar, palm sugar, etc.)

sprinkling of Coconut Sprinkles

• Scoop oatmeal into bowls and add butter, wholesome sweetener, and coconut sprinkles.  I also added a little raw milk from my cup to thin it out a little.  Enjoy!

(Cross-posted.)

Preview to Breakfast: Soaked Oatmeal

Before I go to bed I wanted to give you a quick update on the day.  I ate all the same meals today as I did on Monday.  I had a lot of leftovers, and it was a lot of work!  Plus I don't mind the repetition, the simplicity of having nothing to cook today was a welcome change.  Here are the links to breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

When I checked the schedule for tomorrow's meals, I realized that tonight I need to start soaking the oatmeal for tomorrow's breakfast.

Soaked Oatmeal

1 cup rolled oats

1 cup warm water

2 tablespoons whey, lemon juice, or yogurt

1.  Stir all ingredients together in a glass (or other non-reactive) bowl, cover with a towel and let soak overnight at room temperature.

Dinner: Baked Chicken w/ Coconut Peanut Sauce, Salad, Green Beans, Pickles, and Kefir

Wow, that's quite the title.


Coconut Oil: taken 20 minutes before dinner, in pomegranate white tea


Dinner: 

• Mesclun Salad with Balsamic Dressing
• Baked Chicken with Coconut Peanut Sauce
• Green Beans fried in coconut oil
• Kimchi (homemade or purchased)--(I couldn't do it!  I had Bubbie's pickles instead, they are also lacto-fermented)
• choice of Quick and Easy Beverage--I chose kefir

By the time I made it to dinner today I realized how much I don't like making three meals a day.  But no problem, I will just eat the leftovers for a day or two and then move on to the next "day" of menu items.  R goes a little crazy eating the same thing over and over, but I love it.  Simplicity, less work?  Hooray!

Mesclun Salad

4 cups mesclun salad (baby lettuce)

1 tablespoon toasted pine nuts

1/2 cup Balsamic Dressing

2 ounces blue cheese

4 croutons (I omitted them)

Balsamic Dressing

1 teaspoon smooth or grainy Dijon-style mustard

2 Tablespoons plus one teaspoon balsamic vinegar

1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil or Mary's Oil Blend

2 teaspoon expeller-pressed flax oil

sea salt and pepper to taste

1.  Mix mustard and vinegar in a bowl.  Add oil in a steady stream, whisking until the dressing is well-mixed and emulsified.  

Baked Chicken

1 whole chicken, including head and feet if possible

1 tablespoon melted butter (I just rubbed room temperature butter on the chicken)

sea salt and pepper to taste

1 3/4 cups Coconut Peanut Sauce

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Cut up chicken, reserving back, feet, head and wings for chicken stock. Place breasts, thighs, and drumsticks, skin side up, in a roasting pan or Dutch oven.  Brush with butter and season with salt and pepper.  Bake for 2 hours or until golden brown.

Coconut Peanut Sauce

6 garlic cloves, coarsely chopped

2-inch piece of fresh ginger, peeled and chopped

1 large bunch of cilantro, chopped

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

1 teaspoon Asian hot chili oil (I couldn't find it, so I omitted; plus the boys don't like it spicy)

3/4 cup natural peanut butter

3/8 cup naturally fermented soy sauce

3 tablespoon rice or coconut vinegar

1/2 can whole coconut milk

1. Place garlic, ginger, and cilantro in a food processor and pulse until finely chopped.  Add all remaining ingredients and pulse until well-blended.  To warm sauce, place in a medium bowl set in a pan of hot water over very low heat.

(Cross-posted)

Lunch: Coconut Corn Soup, crackers and cheese, spritzer

Coconut oil: 2 tablespoons taken 20 minutes before lunch, in tangerine ginger herbal tea

Lunch: 

• Coconut Corn Soup
• whole grain (soaked) crackers or Coconut Crackers, with raw cheese
• spritzer or purchased kombucha

Coconut Corn Soup is simmering away on my stove right now, in my new Le Creuset Dutch oven no less!  I got this recipe from Eat Fat, Lose Fat by Dr. Mary Enig and Sally Fallon. This soup is part of the two week meal plan I am following from the book, as part of my Operation Lose Baby Weight project I started this morning.

I made crackers a couple of weeks ago, so I am using the soaked spelt version I made then.  When I run out I will try the Coconut Crackers recipe from the book.

I am going to drink spritzer with grapefruit juice in it today.  I was really digging my half a grapefruit from breakfast, so I'll use a little more of it for my lunch drink.  The citrus juice aids in digestion.

Coconut Corn Soup

1 can whole coconut milk

4 cups chicken stock

28-ounce can fire-roasted tomatoes

kernels from 4 ears of corn

1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

sea salt and pepper to taste

1. Combine all the ingredients in a large pot or Dutch oven and bring to a simmer.  Simmer for 10 minutes.  Serve.

Basic Rich Crackers

1 cup plain, whole milk yogurt

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened

3 1/2 cups freshly ground whole grain flour (I have used spelt and whole red winter wheat, both with good success)

2 teaspoons sea salt

1. Cream yogurt and butter together. Add flour and salt and stir to combine.

2. Cover with a towel and a plate, find a warm place to soak 12-24 hours (or overnight).

3. After the soaking period, preheat oven to 400 degrees.

4. At this point you can add any herbs, cheeses, or spices to your dough you might like to try. I have only attempted cracked pepper and parmesan cheese, but it was delicious! The possibilities are endless, but the crackers are truly delicious all on their own. Don't feel you need this step, it is optional.

5. Use white flour, sprouted flour, or arrowroot powder (because each of these options have no phytic acid) to roll your dough out very thin. Use a pastry or pizza cutter to cut dough into small squares or rectangles.

6. Place onto a parchment-lined baking sheet. You can put the crackers fairly close to each other, they do not spread. You can prick with a fork, but I have not seen much of a need for it.

7. Bake 8-12 minutes, checking every minute or so after 8 minutes have gone by to make sure they do not overbrown. You know the crackers are done when they are slightly brown on the edges and the middles of the crackers look drier.

8. Remove from baking sheet to cooling racks immediately, but be gentle so they do not break. Enjoy!

Spritzer

sparkling water

juice from 1 lime, 1/2 lemon OR 1/4 grapefruit

pinch salt

1. Add juice and salt to a glass of water.  Stir to combine.

(Cross-posted.)

Ready, Set, Go!

Coconut oil: taken 20 min. before breakfast in pomegranate white tea, along with two capsules of high vitamin cod liver oil

Breakfast:

• two eggs fried in butter or coconut oil
• one piece of whole grain (sprouted) toast with butter or coconut oil
• half a grapefruit with coconut sprinkles
• one cup of whole raw milk or coconut milk tonic

I am sitting here eating my grapefruit with Coconut Sprinkles, having already finished my eggs, toast, and milk. But before I ate anything I took my two tablespoons of coconut oil.

As you will recall, one of the methods of this weight loss plan is to take two tablespoons of coconut oil 20 minutes before each meal. If I was braver I would have just taken them off the spoon, but I am a squeamish sort. I took the author's recommendation from Eat Fat, Lose Fat and drank my coconut oil. I have a pomegranate white tea that I like, so I used that pink concoction as a vehicle for my coconut oil this morning before I shuttled M off to preschool.

I woke up this morning looking and feeling different. I can tell that it is the right time for me to take on this weight loss goal. I feel energized. I feel capable. I am excited. In fact, I had a good omen as I made the eggs this morning: one of them came out as a double yolk. That's never happened to me before. I think it is significant that my first breakfast became a little bit magical.

I have struggled for years to gain a healthy relationship with my body and my body image. As many of you readers know, I was raised by abusive parents. My dad sexually abused me, which has really done a number on my sexuality. I have steadily gained healthier ways of seeing myself. My mom, being a severe emotional abuser, criticized how I looked and what I ate as I grew up. So I have also struggled with how I see food as an enemy or an ally.

I am to a place where I simply see food as food. I am noticing how fast or slow I eat, and why. I am noticing my connection to food in terms of it's history. It is becoming sacred and cleansing to understand my food and where it came from, and then lovingly prepare it for me and my family.

Well, I must be off to Trader Joe's to get some corn and other produce for the rest of the day's recipes. Up next for lunch: Coconut Corn Soup, raw cheese and crackers, and spritzer or purchased kombucha

Still Preparing: Mary's Oil Blend

I have never made this blend, but Eat Fat, Lose Fat calls for it in several recipes. I understand that this oil blend doesn't burn as easily as pure coconut oil during cooking. You can also use it in salads and to make mayonnaise.

Mary's Oil Blend

1 cup coconut oil, gently melted

1 cup expeller-pressed or cold-pressed sesame oil

1 cup extra-virgin olive oil

1. Mix all together in a glass jar, cover tightly, and store at room temperature.

(Cross-posted.)

Preparing for Monday: Sauerkraut

Okay this one I am saving for last because I am a little scared. I have never made sauerkraut, but several recipes reassure me that it is very simple to make. There are some with just cabbage, salt and water, and others add caraway seeds. For simplicity I am going to stick with the cabbage-water-salt recipe.

I have done a similar lacto-fermentation process with these Dilly Carrots, and it was VERY easy. Sauerkraut, kimchi, and various other naturally preserved condiments are all lacto-fermented and therefore contain beneficial bacteria.

By way of clarification, lacto-fermentation includes whey and salt in the preserving process. You can use the term "cultured", by using just salt, usually twice the amount called for in the lacto-fermented recipe. For example, if I am making sauerkraut with 1 Tablespoon salt and 1 Tablespoon whey, then I can omit the whey and just add two Tablespoons salt.

Lacto-fermentation is sometimes called lactic acid fermentation. I like this definition from "The Benefits of Lacto-Fermentation" by The Nourishing Gourmet: "Lacto-fermentation happens when the starches and sugars in vegetables and fruit convert to lactic acid by a friendly lactic-acid producing bacteria." So there you go! This is how you can awaken your foods into live, cultured, probiotic foods. Think yogurt, but with way more possibilities.

Cultured Sauerkraut

2 heads organic green cabbage

3 1/2 Tablespoons salt

1. Shred cabbage, mix in salt, and put into a non-reactive bowl for 15-30 minutes. The salt will draw the water out of the cabbage, making it unnecessary to pound it.

2. If you have a fermentation crock or fermenting jar, like this one I have, then transfer cabbage to the fermenter. That will ensure that no air is in contact with the cabbage. Cover with a towel to keep light out of the jar. If you do not own one of those fermenters, you can weight down the cabbage with a plate, or bowl, or jar, or bucket filled with water, placed directly on top of the cabbage in the bowl. Just make sure the cabbage is completely submerged. Cover with a kitchen towel to keep dust and bugs out.

3. Let ferment for several days at room temperature. Just taste it every day and see how the flavor is. If using a weight method, make sure you take the weight off and clean it every day, and skim any scum that might appear.

Try to have one lacto-fermented item per day, preferably per meal. Enjoy!

(Cross-posted)

Preparing for Monday: Crispy Nuts

Soaking nuts is important, so that the enzyme inhibitors will be neutralized and your body can digest them better. There is also a small amount of phytic acid in nuts which will be neutralized in the soaking process, also helping with digestion.

I have read about this process in Nourishing Traditions and on several Real Food Media blogs. If you google "phytic acid soaking" you will find a plethora of information on why people go through the trouble of soaking nuts, seeds, and grains. I am partial to this overview on The Nourishing Gourmet, and this overview on GNOWFGLINS.

Soaked Nuts

4 cups of nuts

1 Tablespoon of sea salt

filtered water

1. Put the water and salt into a non-reactive bowl or a glass canning jar. Stir to dissolve salt. Add nuts and stir. Cover with a sprouting screen or kitchen towel to keep dust and bugs out, but let it breathe.

2. Soak for different amounts of time, depending on the nut:

• pumpkin seeds, pecans, peanuts, almonds, macadamia, pine nuts, hazelnuts: 7 hours-overnight
• walnuts, 7 hours-overnight (store in fridge, walnuts have a high oil content that can spoil at room temperature)
• cashews, 6 hours only!, otherwise they get slimy

3. Dehydrate at 150 degrees or less until completely dry and crispy.

(Cross-posted)

Preparing for Monday: Coconut Sprinkles

According to Eat Fat, Lose Fat coconut sprinkles can be used on desserts, salads, and curries. It looks pretty easy, too. I am going to try it on my grapefruit on Monday morning's breakfast.

Coconut Sprinkles

2 cups unsweetened desiccated coconut

1/2 cup maple syrup

1. Mix coconut and maple syrup together, spread out on a baking sheet, and dry out at a low temperature in the oven: 200 degrees or so.

2. Break up with hands and store at room temperature in an airtight container.

(Cross-posted)

Preparing for Monday: Beef Broth

I have a lot to do in preparation for Monday. I am making beef broth, coconut sprinkles, sauerkraut and crispy nuts. While the beef broth gets started I will start soaking the nuts and cutting up the cabbage for the sauerkraut. After all those are done I will make the sprinkles.

In Eat Fat, Lose Fat they point out that one of the most important weight loss tools is to have a calcium-rich food three times a day. Raw milk is an obvious choice. And in the book they offer a Coconut Milk Tonic recipe that includes dolomite powder which provides calcium. But another excellent source is bone broth. Between milk in the morning, raw cheese or cream with lunch, and a bone broth included in dinner, I will be getting my three servings of calcium per day.

In bone stocks, minerals and marrow are leached from the bones of healthy, pastured animals (chicken, beef, fish, lamb) over the course of 24 hours of slow cooking. I use my slow cooker plugged in in my garageI have already made chicken stock, but I am in need of some beef stock. I will make fish stock later in the week, as long as I can find bonito flakes or fish carcasses somewhere! I will have to make another trip to LeeLee's Asian Market tomorrow.

First for today, the beef broth. If I start it this afternoon, then it will be done by tomorrow afternoon.

Brown Beef Broth

2-3 pounds of beef marrow bones

one calves foot, cut into pieces, optional

2-3 pounds meaty bones (rib or neck)

filtered water

1/2 cup raw apple cider vinegar

3 onions, quartered

3-4 stalks celery, cut in half once or twice

3-4 carrots, cut in half once or twice

sprigs of fresh thyme, tied together with kitchen twine

1 teaspoon peppercorns, whole or crushed

1 bunch of parsley

1. Place marrow bones and optional calves foot in a very large stock pot or slow cooker, add the vinegar, and cover completely with water. Let sit for one hour.

2. In the meantime, brown the meaty bones: place in a roasting pan and cook at 350 degrees until browned. After they are browned, add them with the vegetables to the stock pot or slow cooker.

3. Pour the fat out of the roasting pan and discard. Add cold water to the roasting pan, bring to a boil, and loosen the browned bits and coagulated juices from the pan with a wooden spoon or spatula. Add to the stock pot or slow cooker. If needed, add water to slow cooker to cover all the bones and vegetables.

4. Bring to a boil. With a spoon, skim off any foam or scum that rises to the top. After skimming the broth, add thyme and peppercorns, lower the heat to a simmer and cover the pot with a lid.

5. Simmer stock for at least 12 hours, and up to 72. I always aim for 24 or so.

6. Add parsley about 10 minutes before the stock is finished.

7. Remove large pieces with a slotted spoon and throw away. Strain remaining broth through a fine mesh sieve, possibly lined with a paper towel or cheesecloth, into a bowl. Let cool, and then put in the refrigerator to let the congealed fat rise to the top. Remove this with a spoon. Your stock is done! Keep in the fridge for about a week (?), or freeze for longer storage.

(Cross-posted)

Monday is THE day: Operation Lose Baby Weight

It's official. Monday September 27th is my day. I have gotten my goal sheet out. I have marked down my steps: prepare stocks and lacto-fermented condiments, go shopping, write out menu. I have committed to my two week span. I feel emotionally ready. I even feel excited. It's time.

I am embarking on a two week schedule of real food designed for weight loss. I will document my progress and share the recipes I make here on my blog.

I have tried so very many things over the last 10 months since weaning E. I exercise. I don't eat sugar. I sleep well. I take my cod liver oil and adrenal supports. I oil pull every morning. But the weight is stubborn, and I believe it to be hormone-related and toxin-related. It's time to follow a schedule made by people I trust who believe in real food. Real food is raw, pastured dairy, fresh vegetables and fruit, soaked and sprouted grains, healthy fats like coconut oil and lacto-fermented condiments.

I bought and read Eat Fat, Lose Fat by Dr. Mary Enig and Sally Fallon. There are two phases I can try in the book: Phase One and Phase Two. My two weeks from September 27-October 11 will determine whether I need to move to Phase Two or not. If I lose weight on Phase One, then I will continue with it. If not, then I will move onto Phase Two and use that plan. No matter the Phase I end up with, my long goal after these two weeks will be to lose 50 lbs.

The basics:

1. Take coconut oil 20 minutes before each meal, it curbs appetite and provides nutrients.

2. Three meals a day, with no snacks, will set up a proper dynamic between satiation and hunger.

3. Follow Phase One to see if you lose weight, if not then follow Phase Two.

The book comes with recipes and schedules. It's perfect for a control freak like me :)

Monday's menu looks like this (recipes in the book are capitalized):

Breakfast:

1/2 grapefruit with Coconut Sprinkles

2 eggs fried in butter or coconut oil with 2 pieces nitrate-free bacon

1 slice sprouted whole-grain toast with coconut oil or butter

1 cup whole raw milk or warm Coconut Milk Tonic

Lunch:

Coconut Corn Soup

raw cheese or butter on whole-grain (soaked) or Coconut Crackers

spritzer or purchased kombucha

Dinner:

Mesclun Salad

Baked Chicken with Coconut Peanut Sauce

Green Beans with Coconut

Kimchi (homemade or purchased)

choice of Quick and Easy Beverage

New Look

I like green, and I like the streamlined, clean, easy-to-read format I found in the Blogger templates. If I was more tech-savvy, I would incorporate more of the "green grass"/country look. But I am going to think on it first.

Things E Says (Part Ten)

E, at night as either R or I walks out of the room: "Nigh-niiiigh!!"

Things M Says (Part 33)

Whilst singing the revised "Spider on the Floor" song today in the car:

M (singing): "There's a spider on the switch on the swiiiitch,

there's a spider on the switch on the swiiitch

...(thinking of a rhyme)...

he looks like Harry Potter looking for the Snitch,

that spider on the switch,

there's a spider on the switch,

on the swiiiiiiiiitch!!"

Things M Says (Part 32)

On the way home from preschool lately, M and I have been singing "There's a Spider on the Floor", but with silly words put in. It's a good way to learn rhyming, and creativity, and just be plain ol' silly. (Though it's not like we have a shortage of silliness at our house.)

M was singing his own version of "There's a Spider on the Floor" when he came up with this rhyme:

M, singing: "Oh there's a spider on the flag, on the flag. Hey mom, 'gag' rhymes with 'flag'. There's a spider gagging on a flag, gagging on a flaaaag!"

Things M Says (Part 31)

While M and R are playing "20 Questions", M's new favorite game:

M: "Is it something we can go inside?"

R: "Yes."

M: "Is is a big dinosaur bone with cracks in it so that people can walk inside it?"

R: "Uh, no."

M: "Oh, I should have said a big dinosaur skeleton."

R was thinking of a house. Lol!

Things M Says (Part 30)

This morning while I was in the kitchen making breakfast, I heard M on the couch calling for me: "Mom! I'm a little birdie freaking out for it's mom. TWEET! TWEEEEEEEET!!!!!"

"Eat Fat, Lose Fat", Adrenal Gland Fatigue, and B Vitamins

I mentioned this is my previous post: In the interest of weight loss, I finally broke down and bought a copy of Eat Fat, Lose Fat by Mary Enig and Sally Fallon. Paired with my commitment to not eat sugar anymore, and to temporarily get off grain, I think this book will help me get out from under my baby weight.

I suspect that I am also having a difficult time losing weight because of exhaustion as well. I think I have adrenal gland fatigue and I know I have a B vitamin deficiency.

I have started taking a maca root supplement twice daily that I usually only take during my period. Maca root is shown to balance hormones and help with energy. You shouldn't take maca raw, so only buy brands that are "gelatinized" or pre-cooked. (I use the Royal Maca capsules by Whole World Botanicals that I bought at Sprouts.)

I wanted to buy this supplement from Radiant Life, but it was too freaking expensive. Plus, I didn't know if I would realistically take a liquid daily if it wasn't tasty. But I do like that it's derived from whole foods, fermented, probiotic, and has the full B complex. I found a similar (?) one at Whole Foods today called Raw B-Complex by Garden of Life that was a lot cheaper, claims to be made from whole food sources, and is a lot cheaper. We'll see how that goes as I take it over the next month.

GAPS and Biokult Probiotic Giveaway at CHEESESLAVE

Okay real foodie folks, there is a giveaway you should know about over at CHEESESLAVE's blog. If you follow the directions on the blog, then you will be eligible to win a copy of Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride's book "Gut and Psychology Syndrome" and a bottle of Biokult probiotics, which is a $53 value. I am hoping I win :)

Either way I am going to get my hands on this GAPS book. I think it is a fascinating subject, how food can go greatly affect our well-being. I also just got a copy of Real Food: What to Eat and Why by Nina Planck and I am looking forward to reading it as I expand my real food library. I finally broke down and bought a copy of Eat Fat, Lose Fat by Mary Enig and Sally Fallon. Paired with my commitment to not eat sugar anymore, and to temporarily get off grain, I think this book will help me get out from under my baby weight.

I hope you'll all click over there and learn a little more about real food!

Things E Says (Part Nine)

E, while poking my sore, scraped knee, repeatedly: "Boo-boo. Boo-boo."

Things E Says (Part Eight)

E, while going to bed: "Na-niiiigh, na-niiigh!"

Things E Says (Part Seven)

E, while waving: "Hi-eee, Hi-eee!"

Things M Says (Part 29)

I was trying to remember the whining exchange M and I had earlier today and just blogged in the previous post (Part 28), so I asked M if he remembered what I had thought was cute and funny in the car. He said he didn't remember, and asked why I wanted to know.

I explained about my blog and said: "I like to write cute and funny things you say on there."
M: "Like 'funny quarters'?! Hahahahaha!!"
me: "'Funny quarters?' You are so silly!"
M: "That's funny! Write that on your blog!"
me: "Okay!"

Things M Says (Part 28)

me, in the car: "No you can't hold the iPod, we're almost home."
M, after a moment: "I was about to whine, but I thought to myself 'Hmm, I think if I whine I will go to time out, and I don't want to go to time out' and then I didn't whine!!!"
me: "Good job, buddy!" *snicker*

Things M Says (Part 27)

While driving in the car with R and E earlier today, listening to the iPod, commenting on E's dancing in his carseat: "E's really feelin' it."

Things M Says (Part 26)

M, while dancing to Metallica: "Mom, now there are LOTS of ninjas doing cartwheels around me."

So. Awesome.

Things M Says (Part 25)

me: "M, you need to pick up all this paper money, because E will rip it up."

M: "I don't like that idea."

me: "I know, but it must be done!"

M: "I reaaaally don't like this idea!"

me: "Well, you still need to do it."

M: "Mom, if you say that again, even when you're 45, I will still not pick these up. I will go with my dad to find a new family, and I will not clean these up!"

me: *eyeroll*

Things E Says (Part Six)

E, whenever R is around, or even when he's not, or even when E sees a picture of R, or every time E talks on a phone, or whenever E pretends some other toy IS a phone: "Da-deeeee!"

Things M Says (Part 24)

M, while blowing bubbles in his kefir soda with a straw: "Mom, bubbles are so amazing. I know a lot about bubbles. I am an artist. If you breathe air into this straw, then bubbles come up from the bottom!"

me: "So you're a bubble artist?"

M: "Yeah, sure am."

Another Guest Post over at The Exponent

You can read my second guest post over at The Exponent here. The first one I did last year is here.

Things M Says (Part 23)

while making a train track shape on the carpet:

M: "Mom, this is the most amazing thing I have ever made in my whole life!"

Watching Food, Inc.

You can watch Food, Inc. on Netflix for free. I just (finally! sorry Brian/Uncle Bones!) finished watching it on my DVR after recording it on PBS last week. Perhaps it will be on again? Go check, I highly recommend it.

I am really loving the rallying force this movie has been. It is shedding light on what a lot of us intrinsically know. The anger is even good, because you can harness it into personal changes that grow into local changes.

I especially love that Michael Pollan (from Food, Inc.) said on Oprah a few weeks back something to the effect of "we can make a political decision three times a day, for each meal and what we decide to spend our money on".

Things E Says (Part Five)

E: "miwwww!!" (milk)

Things E Says (Part Four)

E: "wa-wa!!" (water)

Things M Says (Part 22)

R and M like to play "bucking bronco" where R tries to shake M off his back onto the bed. M loves this game! But he doesn't remember to call it "bucking bronco". He sometimes says "brucking bronco", but even funnier, he usually says "bruck and bronco" which cracks me up.

Things M Says (Part 21)

M: "I want to be an ant scientist."
R: "Well, that is called an 'entomologist'."
M: "Yeah, I want to be an antomologist."

Things M Says (Part 20)

While at the park this weekend, getting a drink from the drinking fountain with R:

R: "Let's get a drink."
M: "I don't think I can reach it."
R: "Well, one of them is lower."
M: "Slower?"
R: "No, lower."
M: "You need to be more pespific." (Specific.)
R, thinking: (Sheesh.)

Is anyone surprised to find that this is something I say to M a lot? "M, please be more specific. I don't know what 'this' means." Now it has been turned back on us. It was only a matter of time.

Things E Says (Part Three)

Crawling over with a ball: "Ba! Ba! Ba!"

Things E Says (Part Two)

E (while waving): "Haa!"

He says hi like he's from the South or something.

A newer development, also while waving: "Baa!"

Again, as if from the South.

Things M Says (Part 19)

At my friend's house:

me: "M, it's time to go home, go find your shoes."
M: "No! Shut up!"
me: "If you say shut up you will have a time out in the car, strapped in to your car seat, when we get home."
M: "Grrrr."
me: "C'mon, come get your shoes."
M: "I feel like if I walk over to get my shoes, I will say 'shut up' again."
me: "Well, if you don't get your shoes then you will also have a time out strapped into your car seat when we get home. So just try not to say shut up and go get your shoes."
M: "Well, we have a problem."

I am so glad M couldn't see my face at the time, because I barely held in a laugh. M has some good emotional intelligence going on.

Things M Says (Part 18)

me, making a mistake by saying: "Hey M, I signed you up for swimming lessons, and they start in April!"
M, gasping: "Really?!"
me: "Yep!"
M: "What month is it?"
me: "March."
M: "What is the day today?"
me: "March 19th."
M: "How many more days are there in March?"
me: "19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31!"
M: "Oh, okay."

(later)

M: "What day in March is it today?"
me: "The 19th."
M: "Oh, I thought it was already the 21st!"

Here we go for the rest of the month!

Missing Gramma

I am home from my gramma's funeral. For the funeral I was in California with my entire family, and it was both wonderful and sad. We spent time going through her music, books, clothes, jewelry, dishes, and the like. It was very strange, but so meaningful to be able to take pieces of her home with me. I loved that we all got something that was special to each of us. I also found the white ceramic rabbit that my gramma had said reminded her of me, ever since I can remember. The most wonderful part was that she had written "K (heart) Gramma" on the underneath. As I unpacked a few hours ago and placed it on my dresser, I felt a distinct realization that she is really gone. I keep thinking I can call her, or that I will hear her shoes clicking on the hardwood floor at her house as she walks out of the hallway.

We got to see her one last time at the viewing, where she didn't look quite like herself. I think the body alone literally looks like it is missing half of itself when the soul is gone. I am trying to feel lucky and grateful that she went peacefully in her sleep, and in her silk pajamas!, and that she lived a full life.

During the service I was able to play an easy Bach piece from the Well-Tempered Clavier that I remember also playing on my gramma's piano approximately one billion times in the course of growing up there. Each grandchild got to share a memory, and it was such a beautiful tribute to her life.

Then, we all went back to the house and gathered our things. We hugged and took our keepsakes home. I spent time taking pictures of the eucalyptus trees, the creek, the weeping willow, the house numbers, the piano, the yard, and even the handles on the kitchen cupboards. My grandpa is going to go and live with my mom, and then the house will be sold. I am at peace with what has happened, but I am still aching with the newness of this change.

In the meantime, I keep looking at that ceramic rabbit and tearing up with the realization that it is at MY house now. It no longer resides on the white counter-top in San Jose as I come back to visit and Gramma tells me again "you know, this has always reminded me of you".

I will think of Gramma every time I see that rabbit. Every time I wear the red flats I found in her closet after she passed on. Every time I see that second edition of Mormon Doctrine on my shelf, with her highlighted passages. Every time I watch The In-Laws, or Frasier, or Hook, or My Blue Heaven, or Mary Poppins, or Fox News (ha!). Every time I see a Saks 5th Ave., or Nordstrom, or Macy's. Every time I see silk pajamas or pearls or Cadillacs. Every time there is an Easter egg hunt outside in the trees. Every time I get a back-scratch. Every time I see eucalyptus trees. Every time I use one of her ice cream bowls with the silver edging. Every time I think of the piano, especially Fur Elise of The Spinning Song. Every time I see an organ, or play an organ. Every time someone mentions My Turn on Earth. Every time I use the Dutson Family Directory to find a phone number. Every time I think of E's health problems and how much she cared about the details, never tiring of me talking about it. Every time I stay up late to get things done. Every time I see a garnet ring set in gold. Every time I believe that I am smart because she told me so. Every time I cannot shut up about something I feel passionate about, and I wonder where the genes come from :D.

And every time I get to St. George and go visit her grave, so that I can put flowers on it just like I used to put flowers on her baby's grave here in Arizona any time I could get there. I miss you, Gramma, but you are alive in me. I am happy to find parts of you not only in the things I brought home from your house, but in my being.

More Real Food Links

I forgot some links I need to add to my list! Some are links I had overlooked, but others are recently found in the days since my last post. In fact, finding links will be an ongoing process, so I added a tag "links" for these posts so you can find them easily as my number of posts about real food links grows.

I have already mentioned the link I found about budgeting for real food here. Ever since reading it I have been researching sources, both local and via the Internet, for purchasing in bulk. Azure Standard is already very helpful for many items. But I need a good source for pastured chicken, grass-fed beef, and healthy fish. I have found several good beef sources at farmer's markets and online, but not as many satisfactory ones for chicken as you will see.

Grass-fed BEEF:

• Doublecheck Ranch (at Phoenix Public Market): more expensive, sell suet and broth bones
  
• A Bar H Farm (via their website and pickup locations on delivery day--schedule found here): the cheapest price per pound I have found online, as long as you buy 1/2 animal or so
  
• US Wellness Meats (via their website): very high quality, not the cheapest but does specials for free shipping sometimes, check for sales. I have their ground beef in my freezer and it is delicious!
  
• Ahwatukee farmer's market (I do not know the name of the vendor, but will find out this weekend and post it here): the cheapest local beef I have found, we buy steaks and grill them on the weekends
  
• List of local vendors for Arizona (all grass-fed meats): I haven't tried all of these sources, but I am sure they are good based on my success with the others I have tried above.
  

Free Range and Pastured CHICKEN:

• Rosie's Free Range Chicken (at Sprouts or Sunflower Market): this is the chicken I have purchased for the last few years, it produces stock that gels in the fridge, so I know it is good enough produce healthy gelatin when turned into stock. However, I have heard these chickens may not be truly pastured, and they DO eat soy and corn in their feed which I dislike. I am trying NOT to buy these anymore.
  
• Rosie's, Rocky, and Shelton brand free range chickens (at Azure Standard): similarly problematic for GMOs and corn and soy. Will NOT be buying these, unfortunately.
• Mary's Pastured Chicken (at Whole Foods): my current main choice for chicken since contacting Mary's brand and they have said that though the chickens do have meal made with corn and soy, it is NOT GMO, and they eat very little of it, preferring being outside eating bugs. Also, if you ask Whole Foods, they will order you a box of chickens (8 come in a box, around 25 lbs. total) and you can have a 10% discount for ordering in bulk.
  
• Tropical Traditions Pastured Poultry (via their website): my current supplemental choice for chicken because it is so expensive. These are the most nutritionally superior chickens I have found. (I will use one of these chickens per month, and use the Mary's brand for all the other needs of our family. That way I need only buy 12 of these per year, hopefully during times when they are on sale, like right now.)
• There are still a few vendors here in AZ I need to call, so I will add to this list in the next day or so if I find anything out.
  

FISH:

• Fishhugger (via their website and the Ahwatukee Farmer's Market): very expensive, but very high quality to the point of being sushi-grade. We buy it once in a while.
• Trader Joe's, Fresh 'n' Easy, Whole Foods, for fish on sale, using the Seafood Guide to know what is safe to buy at any given time.
  

Real Food Links

First I read Nourishing Traditions, which I talked about in my previous post, and then:

• I found the Bountiful Baskets co-op
  
• I found the Dirty Dozen and Clean 15 (full list) to help with produce shopping
  
• I found information about raw milk that eased my mind
  
• I found raw milk in my area (and you can too here)
  
• I found The Nourishing Gourmet, and subsequently Cheeseslave
• I found Real Food Media which is a network of real food bloggers
  
• I found a budget breakdown of how to afford raw milk/dairy, pastured eggs/chicken, grass-fed beef
• I found an Arizona Local Food website with tons of links and information
  
• I found local ranchers and farmers for grass-fed beef
• I found a farmer's market (Phoenix Public Market) on Saturday in Phoenix for pastured eggs from Chile Acres, produce from Maya's Farm and grass-fed beef from Doublecheck Ranch (not the best price, but they carry suet and broth bones)
  
• I found a Sunday farmer's market in Ahwatukee for grass-fed beef (best price I have found)
• I found a list of good cod liver oils, various brands; also, a CLO explanation here
  
• I picked the Green Pastures brand, and found their website had the cheapest price for bulk buying
  
• And finally, the crowning glory: I found Azure Standard: they carry the cheapest organic grains, wholesome sweeteners, pastured eggs, raw cheese, natural parchment paper, canning supplies, pastured meat, cod liver oil, spices, and stainless steel baking supplies that I have found in all my local and internet searching. I cannot recommend them enough.

(cross-posted)