Plug

My sister-in-law just started selling cute little clippies on Etsy. She is very talented, so check it out here!

Nicknames

Here are just some of the names I have used for E in his short life of 5 1/2 weeks:

• the tiniest man
• The Boy
• little buddy
• little tiny face
• baby boy
• little boy blue
• little burrito (for when he's wrapped up in his swaddle blanket)
  
• Mr. Fussy Pants
• tiny friend
• the growliest man
• the squeakinest man
• the angriest man
  
• tiny vampire (he tries to chomp your neck when you hold him)
  
• the chubba bubba
• chunka munk
• tiny R (they look very alike!)
• chubby cheeker
  

There is a general theme, no? I am reminded that I did a similar thing when M was brand new. Then it evolved to silly songs that would occasionally make me think "hmm, when did I get so ridiculous?" For example: "It's the tiniest man that you ever did see, the tiniest maaaaan!"

On the other hand, I really enjoy singing these songs which are not ridiculous at all: "I Wonder If I'm Growing" by Raffi, "Baby Mine" from Dumbo, "Gartan Mother's Lullaby" as sung by Meryl Streep on the "For Our Children" CD I stole from my parents several years ago.

P.S. E officially smiled at me on purpose today. I have been coaxing him to do it for several days, but today was the day he looked into my eyes and smiled big. :D

Preliminary Conclusions

Both of E's tests today were good news. His ultrasound showed one perfectly functioning kidney, and one crazy non-functioning kidney chillin' way down on his bladder. We have to wait for the other test in a week and a half to see if that one is working a little bit or not at all. Then we did the VCUG and it really was not so bad. E had his pacifier and his mommy, so he cried a little bit but mostly was quite brave and content. They saw that his bladder is functioning perfectly as well, and has no reflux. So E can stop taking those darn antibiotics. My favorite part of the visit: the tiny hospital gown they put on E. Adorable!

My fears were pretty much unfounded as far as stress with feeding/sleeping/soothing E. The people working at Phoenix Children's Hospital seem to be the best medical folks I have met, possibly ever. They are helpful and nice and understanding. When I had to pump they gave me my own exam room and helped me carry everything there. I feel better :)

Happiness has found me

I have been dwelling on things I do not like. The top 2 things: taking E to his test tomorrow, and being so tired all the time.

In spite of that, I have turned a corner today. I still want to get tomorrow over with, but I feel happier in general. I think it may be for these reasons.

• I look forward to seeing M when he wakes up from his nap.
  
• I laugh more than I used to. Especially during the pregnancy. I never realized how grouchy I was until I got de-pregoed. (Sheepish smile at M and R.)
  
• I snuggle E and don't even mind that he is approaching the 6 week peak of fussiness. I think his crying face is so adorable. Poor little man!
• I feel satisfaction getting laundry, dishes, cleaning, book-reading, and various chores done.
• I am walking more lately and not sore.
• M brings toys to E when E is crying.
• I am doing yoga and living more in the moment.
• I take time during the day to meditate and breathe.
• I love it when M says "I love you, too!"
• M says funny things on a regular basis.
• I talk to my sister on the phone and hear my funny nephew V talk about things.
• I enjoy, as always, talking to R at the end of the day.
• I feel freed from previous stresses. I have had the courage to let certain things go.
  
• Today has been rainy. This always puts me in a great mood. Weird?
• E stops crying sometimes when M talks to him.
  
• All the members of the family are on the mend from being sick last week. We are all much happier=I am happier.
• I am handling the cloth diapering like a pro if I do say so myself.
  
• I have good friends.
• I am reading good books: "Strangers in Paradox" and "Peace is Every Step"
• I have fun things planned this year: a few women's retreats, a trip to UT, a trip to CA. Hopefully we can swing all that :)

Today is a good day.

Tests, sigh.

So E is having a few tests done in the next couple of weeks. I know its crazy, but I am more worried about him eating and sleeping well during our outings to get the tests done, than I am about the actual tests. Next Tuesday we go in for an ultrasound and a voiding cystourethrogram (VCUG). I do not think it will take a super long time, but I really do hate taking E out in public right now. There is the germ thing. There is the sleeping thing. There is the eating thing. I like staying at the house where I have everything I need. But now I have drag all the f-ing breast pump stuff with me because it might take longer than 3 hours start to finish. Grumble.

Cripes

I have been saying this a lot lately. It is better that what I would like to say. So I go "Ah, cripes!" and then M says, "Why you say cripes, Mom?" I most especially say it on days like yesterday when almost everything went wrong. Okay, that isn't true. It could have been worse...

Miles got a fever and started coughing like crazy. My newborn-mommy-mind immediately thinks: "RSV?", "pertussis?", "flu? no, M got a flu shot", then "ahhhhhhhh! I don't want E to get sick and possibly hospitalized!" I called and made a doctor's appointment.

Then my breast pump stopped working on one side. I cried in frustration. We went to the pediatrician (E weighs almost 10 pounds! M got antibiotics and a guess that he does NOT have RSV.). We took the pump back to the store and exchanged it. E slept the whole time driving home, did not get a fever, and ate well while at the doctor's office. This was the silver lining part of the day. Then the poop hit the fan.

M coughed so hard while we were going to pick up R that he threw up all over himself and the carseat and started bawling. So I turned around and drove home, put him in the tub and proceeded to spend the next few hours bleaching everything, doing several loads of laundry, taking everyones temperatures, and generally freaking out about germs.

Today is better. Thank goodness for Azithromycin, mother-in-laws, naps, pleasant children in spite of being ill, Jell-o, more bleach, orange-flavored vitamin C, "Wall-E" and "Robots" on DVD, a baby that sleeps/eats well, breathing exercises, and really nice weather.

Conversation with M

I called R yesterday as he was driving back from a Superbowl party with M. M wanted to talk, and this is how it went.

M: Mom? Hey, Mom?
K: Yes?
M: Sometimes big dogs cwash into you.
K: Oh, did you see Heather's dogs and they knocked you over?
M: Yeah. Mom?
K: Yes?
M: Mom?
K: What, buddy?
M: Hey, Mom?
K: M, what!?
M: Mom? What are you doing, Mom?
K: Oh, I'm on the computer, checking my email.
M: Why?
K: Because I like to check and see who wrote to me.
M: What are you doing?
K: I'm still on the computer.
M: Why?

etc.