Saturday, October 29, 2011

Things E Says (Part 10)

Everyone looking up at a helicopter:

E: "My hewicopper!"

Sure buddy, it's totally yours!

Things M Says (Part 42)

M and R talking during bathtime:

R: "It's a pain in the butt."
M: "Why is it called a pain?"
R: "If you say something is a pain, then you mean that it's annoying."
M: "Why do you say it's a pain in the butt?"
R: "It's just a figure of speech to say 'pain in the butt'."
M: "A butt?!" (lifts his bum out of the bathwater and points at it) "You mean like this little cutie?!"

Thursday, September 15, 2011

I Love...This Thing!

It was recently my birthday on September 11th, which brought along with it reflections on the national tragedy in conjuction with the Birthday Fairy.  The Birthday Fairy is my mother's invention (don't tell my kids!), and she makes birthday mornings ever so much fun!  You wake up on your birthday with a trail of goodies from your bed to the living room where, like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you get some presents.  My kids love it, even when it's their mom's birthday.  M woke me up bursting and said "come see what you got, it's so exciting!!"

This year I chose several items from Amazon to "help" the Birthday Fairy choose things that I would truly love to have.  I found an old Super Nintendo game I used to love to play when I was a kid visiting my cousins house for under $10, as well as an almond flour cookbook to give support to my GAPS diet, and a CD that I haven't heard in years.  But the thing I am loving most is having this little doohickey around.  It's a scalp massager and I love it.  It relieves my stress and it was about $3, which relieves my stress a little more, ha!  The first time I used it on M he stopped in his tracks with half-closed eyes and said "it makes me feel all shiver-y".  Exactly.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Chocolate Coconut "Larabars"

Chocolate Coconut "Larabars"
Put these items in a food processor and mix until they form a ball.  Set the ball aside in a bowl.

1 cup pitted dates, chopped
1 cup dried fruit (figs, raisins, etc.)*
1 1/2 tablespoons cocoa powder
pinch salt

Now put these items in the food processor and mix until the consistency is like coarse flour.  Add the ball back in by pinching pieces of it off and adding them into the food processor bowl.  Then add the coconut oil and water by drizzling over the bowl evenly.  Process until the dough becomes a ball again, or close to it.

1 1/3 cups soaked and dehydrated nuts (almonds, walnuts, cashews, hazelnuts, pecans, etc.)**
1/4 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
1/4 cocoa powder
2 tablespoons coconut oil (to desired consistency)
2 tablespoons filtered water (to desired consistency)

Press into a 8x8 glass pan, then cut into bars and serve immediately.  You can also store them in an airtight container at room temperature.

*I used dried figs

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Herbed Chicken Salad

Herbed Chicken Salad
3-4 cups of cooked chicken, cut up into cubes
1/2 cup mayonnaise (preferably homemade)
1/3 cup sour cream
two handfuls of parsley, finely chopped
handful of tarragon, finely chopped
handful of thyme, finely chopped
several sage leaves, finely chopped
2 pickles, finely chopped OR dill pickle relish
1 tsp dried dill
1 cup of grapes, sliced in half (optional)
1 cup of pecans and/or walnuts (preferably soaked and dehydrated) (optional)
salt and pepper to taste

1.  Combine all the ingredients in a large bowl and stir to combine.

Use to make sandwiches on sprouted bread, or if you are on GAPS, like me, eat wrapped up in a lettuce leaf.  Yum!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Onion, Pepper, Broccoli, and Herb Fritatta

photo credit:

Onion, Pepper, Broccoli, and Herb Fritatta

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Chop all the vegetables and heat up a cast iron skillet to medium heat.  Grease a glass pie plate with butter or palm shortening or coconut oil and set aside.  Now saute these items together, until the onions are translucent, about 8 minutes.

2 tablespoons butter
1 onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp dried basil
salt and pepper to taste

Pour the cooked vegetables into the prepared pie plate.  Add all these items to the cast iron pan next, and saute until broccoli is bright green and tender, about 8 minutes.

2 tablespoons butter
1 cup chopped broccoli
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp dried basil
salt and pepper to taste

Pour this batch of cooked vegetables into the prepared pie plate as well.  Spread around evenly.  Then combine these items in a separate bowl:

8 eggs, whisked
1 cup shredded cheddar
salt and pepper to taste

And pour the egg mixture over the vegetables in the pie plate, making sure they are all covered and with egg (for the most part).

Add more salt, pepper, thyme and basil to taste on top.  Bake at 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

How Do I Start GAPS?

I've had a lot of people ask me about how to get started on GAPS now that I have been at it myself for 5 1/2 months. Whoa! That's a long time! Anyways, I wrote an email to my friend, and it turned into this post. Hopefully you will find the links and structure inspiring so that you might take GAPS on for yourself.

GAPS Introduction and How-To
Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to staaart! Okay, so first of all here's the basic overview of the diet: GAPS Diet Overview. Now you know where you're going, and it's time to prepare prior to starting Intro Diet:

  • buy GAPS books:
    • do NOT buy Gut and Psychology Syndrome unless you can afford it no problem and you would like to read it; it's not essential, it's haphazardly written, but it's also very interesting in a rambling kind of way!
    • DO buy GAPS Guide by Baden Lashkov, which is much more clearly written, shorter and cheaper :)
    • DO buy Internal Bliss, which is a spiral-bound book full of GAPS recipes
    • you can buy any or all of these books here more easily (and cheaper!) than on Amazon (which I linked to for review purposes, not price/ease): List of GAPS Books
  • buy cod liver oil: Green Pastures Cod Liver Oil
  • buy probiotics:
    • Bio-Kult is recommended and it really IS awesome; you can buy it here: Bio-Kult Probiotics
      • I would recommend buying in bulk since it goes from $42/bottle to $37/bottle.
    • The next best probiotic I have found is the Garden of Life Vitamin Code Raw Probiotics (it says 85 billion live cultures on the bottle), and it's a little cheaper: Garden of Life RAW Probiotics - Women
  • find bones/meat using this link: Eat Wild Directory or this link: Grassfed Beef Directory
    • find grass-fed beef, lamb (if stuck, Whole Foods has them, but they are pricey)
    • find pastured chickens (Whole Foods has a decent price on pastured chickens: the Mary's Air Chilled Pastured chickens; buy in a "box" and they will give you 10% off)
    • find wild seafood (this is easy to find, but harder to find with bones; try Asian markets)
  • make bone broth ahead of time, store in freezer (make sure to store in large glass jars or safe plastic like polypropylene)
  • buy/make sauerkraut, pickles, other fermented veggies
  • find good local eggs: How To Buy Eggs
    • ask if their chickens eat soy, you do NOT want soy in the feed
    • ask if their chickens eat bugs outside in the sun, since this produces dark yolks full of vitamin D and other nutrients
    • you may pay $5/dozen at farmer's markets, but people with backyard chickens tend to charge around $3/dozen, so keep your ears open for those opportunities
  • find raw dairy: Where To Get Real Milk
    • how to make raw milk yogurt:
      • buy some store whole milk organic yogurt and put 1-2 tablespoons in a quart mason jar and fill with raw milk, stir, cover with a cloth, and let sit at room temperature (around 85 degrees) for at least 24 hours; then you have yogurt!
      • OR you can make your own starter and then make raw milk yogurt from that; here's a how-to: GAPS Yogurt OR Homemade Yogurt
      • OR you can simply buy and use Strauss, Humboldt or Trader Joe's yogurts; make sure they are whole milk, organic, plain, and have a long list of different strains of bacteria in them (the longer the list the better!)
    • how to make sour cream:
      • recipe:
      • OR buy Daisy brand or any other sour cream that has only the ingredients: cream, milk, culture, salt (no skim milk, no milk powder, no thickeners)
    • how to make whey (from raw milk, yogurt, etc.): How To Make Whey
    • how to make ghee: How To Make Ghee
      • use Kerrygold or Humboldt butter (they are grass-fed), or other grass-fed butters you might find in your area
    • find raw cheese:
      • there are raw, grass-fed cheeses on Azure Standard
      • Rumiano is a grass-fed brand
      • Tillamook is grass-fed MOST of the time if you are in a bind (it's also not raw)
      • Organic Valley is raw, but I don't know if they are grass-fed
      • Trader Joe's carries some grass-fed cheeses
  • soak and dehydrate nuts for later in Intro Diet
    • How to soak: Soaking Nuts
    • then dehydrate out in the sun or in a dehydrator until crisp again
    • to use as "flour" just grind up in a food processor
  • find coconut flour, coconut oil, coconut shreds (unsweetened): all available at Azure Standard
    • virgin coconut oil tastes and smells like coconut, whereas the expeller-pressed kind has no flavor or taste
    • coconut flour is VERY handy for making treats, but has a lot of fiber so eat carefully
    • coconut shreds are tasty and filling, plus you can add them to yogurt bowls and things like that
  • make water kefir, milk kefir, or kombucha (all are allowed):
Okay, now you're ready to start.  You should have a fridge/freezer full of stock, yogurt, sauerkraut, whey, eggs, veggies, grass-fed meats, ghee and such (eventually in stage 6 of Intro Diet you can add nuts and fruit)
Below is a Google doc with all my recipes in it, both for Intro Diet and Full GAPS Diet.  It's a work in progress because I haven't transferred all the recipes over, plus I'm always finding new ones.  Feel free to check it out, and add more links in comments if you have them!
Also, I have two additional Google docs that go into more depth with real food and candida, both of which are very helpful:
I hope this helps (and doesn't overwhelm!) you as you get started.  I'm so excited to help you transition into this!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Peanut Butter Brownies with Chocolate Buttercream Frosting (GAPS, grain-free)

I saw this recipe on Grain-Free Foodies and was inspired to make a chocolate-peanut butter version for my GAPS dessert quota.  They came out so beautifully!  I would even make these for company, kind of like the Lemon Curd Bars that even "regular" people like.  I tend to worry about my taste buds these days, since having been on GAPS and real food for so long I don't need as much sweetener in my desserts.  But really, these brownies are good enough for anyone to like, even if they aren't a fellow GAPSter.

Chocolate-Frosted Peanut Butter Brownies
2 1/2 cups peanut butter
1 cup raw honey
4 eggs
3/4 tsp. baking soda--optional, do not use if on GAPS

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees.  Combine all ingredients together with a stand mixer using the paddle attachment, until the batter is well-mixed, glossy and slightly stiff.  However, do not beat too long!  If it's too stiff, then the brownies will be tough.
2.  Butter a 10x15 glass pyrex pan very generously.  Pour batter into the pan, spreading out with a spatula.  If this doesn't work, get your fingers wet with water and press into an even layer.
3.  Bake for 30-35 minutes, until golden brown and set in the middle.
4.  Let cool completely before frosting.

Chocolate Buttercream Frosting
2 sticks grass-fed butter, at room temperature
1/2 cup raw honey
2/3 cup cocoa powder
2 tsp. vanilla

1.  Put butter and honey into a bowl on your stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment.  Whisk at a high speed for 3-5 minutes until well-combined and light colored.  Turn mixer off and add cocoa powder and vanilla.  Start mixer slow until combined, then whisk on high for another 3-5 minutes.  Turn off, scrape down the sides of the bowl and combine by hand.  
2.  Chill entire bowl and whisk attachment in the fridge for 30 minutes.  Remove and whisk once more for 3-5 minutes.  Use to frost immediately.  Store leftover frosting in the fridge.

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Daughters of Mormonism Podcast: Gender Bias in the Book of Mormon

For the last three days I have been listening to the Daughter of Mormonism podcast, one after another.  I have been blown away by how much I love this podcast, perhaps because I consider myself "over" a lot of the issues that are raised in some of the episodes.  I was particularly struck by this feeling as I listened to the third episode called "Gender Bias in the Book of Mormon".

I was surprised by the strong emotional reaction I had as I listened to this episode.  I have given up on believing in a literal translation  of the Book of Mormon, so why would I care about whether or not there are as many "he" references as "she" in the text?  It turns out that I still care an awful lot.  The Book of Mormon and it's portrayal of men and women were a major part of my childhood, affecting the way I thought about myself and where I fit in in the grand scheme of things.

I was the kind of believer growing up who would have denied that gender bias made a difference to me.  It could have been because I was young, or I just didn't see the impact, or that I could sense that admitting that would be something you might say if you didn't have faith.  But ultimately, as is the case with feminism and sexism in general, once you see it you can't "un-see" it.  A friend of mine once put it this way, to quell fears of those who say feminism is unrealistic because feminists see it everywhere: "I see it everywhere, but it isn't the only thing I see".  That really resonates with me.

I realize now the damage that gender bias in the Book of Mormon has done in my life.  The great and abominable church, the daughters of Zion, and the gates of hell are all "she" and "her" in the BoM passages Sybil read in the podcast.  It became a burden I was used to, to "take the extra step".  I took the extra step to change all the words he to she, him to her, men to women.  I took the extra step to tell myself that I mattered even though the scriptures forgot to mention my sex.  I took the extra step to excuse the men over the pulpit who forgot me, to tell myself that they didn't mean it and I was actually included.  I took the extra step to fit myself back into a structure that was made for men, over and over again.

I accepted it because I didn't know any better.  But that doesn't mean that I didn't want something better, even back then.  And it certainly doesn't mean that I accept this now, not when I have done so much work to value myself as a whole person. I am deserving of, yes, even my own pronouns!  At the very least my own pronouns.

It is similar to the damage done by being taught and believing that the greatest deity is male, God the Father.  Mormonism's redeeming quality here is that we believe in a Heavenly Mother, but it doesn't do all that much since she is essentially silent and absent.  It wasn't enough for me to simply knew that she existed.  I wanted a female god to relate to, to imagine myself being!  And for that matter I wanted to have female scripture heroes, female General Authorities to emulate and revere, and women in my local ward who had real power and influence.

It's taken me a long time to admit how I was affected by this one specific part of Mormonism.  How did you feel while you were growing up in the Mormon faith, as a female reading these gender messages in the Book of Mormon?  Can you look back now and see more clearly how it affected you?

(cross-posted at The Exponent)

GAPS Chocolate Nut Bars and Coconut Lemon Bars

Oh boy are these good!  I based them off the wrapper of the Chocolate Coconut Chew Larabar I ate earlier yesterday, using this recipe as a template from Wardeh over at GNOWFGLINS.  I made a double batch and pressed them into a 9x13 pan and they fit perfectly.

These bars are great because they are high in protein, the only sugars are from the dried fruit, and they are made with organic items.   The nuts called for have been soaked in salty water and dehydrated to reduce enzyme inhibitors.  This is also a raw and GAPS friendly recipe, not to mention portable and relatively easy to make in bulk.  I haven't priced it out, but I am also pretty sure that my homemade bars are cheaper than the individual price of a Larabar at $1.29 at Trader Joe's and $1.49 at Whole Foods.  But that's not to say that they aren't worth it, because I am known to buy a box of 12 bars at Whole Foods upon occasion!

Chocolate Nut Bars
1 cup pitted dates
1/2 cup dried figs
1/2 cup raisins
3 T cocoa powder
large pinch of coarse sea salt

3/4 cup soaked and dehydrated almonds
3/4 cup soaked and dehydrated walnuts
scant 1/4 cup cocoa powder
scant 1/4 cup shredded coconut

approx. 2 T. expeller-pressed coconut oil
approx. 2 T. filtered water

1.  Put dates, figs, raisins, 3 T cocoa powder and salt into a food processor and process until it turns into a paste and forms a ball.  It should take a few minutes, and may require you to hold your food processor down firmly for the first minute or so!
2.  Remove ball of paste and set aside in a bowl.  Add almonds and walnuts to the food processor and process until a fine nut meal forms (don't go too long or you will have almond-walnut butter).  
3.  Turn off and add the ball of fruit paste back in, pinching into smaller pieces to ease the mixing process.  Add remaining cocoa powder and coconut and process until 

it makes a dry paste that you can press into a glass pan.  If needed, add a little coconut oil and water to moisten, about 1/2 teaspoon at a time.

Coconut Lemon Bars
1 cup dates
1/2 cup dried figs
1/2 cup raisins
2 T. shredded coconut
large pinch of sea salt

3/4 cup soaked and dehydrated almonds
3/4 cup soaked and dehydrated walnuts
scant 1/2 cup cocoa powder
juice of 3 lemons

approx. 2 T. expeller-pressed coconut oil
approx. 2 T. filtered water

1.  Put dates, figs, raisins, 3 T. shredded coconut and salt into a food processor and process until it turns into a paste and forms a ball.  It should take a few minutes, and may require you to hold your food processor down firmly for the first minute or so!

2.  Remove ball of paste and set aside in a bowl.  Add almonds and walnuts to the food processor and process until a fine nut meal forms (don't go too long or you will have almond-walnut butter).  
3.  Turn off and add the ball of fruit paste back in, pinching into smaller pieces to ease the mixing process.  Add remaining shredded coconut and lemon juice and process until it makes a dry paste that you can press into a glass pan.  If needed, add a little coconut oil and water to moisten, about 1/2 teaspoon at a time.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Chocolate Buttercream Frosting (w/ Chocolate Mint and Chocolate Orange options)

Basic Chocolate Buttercream
1 cup softened grass-fed butter
1/2 cup raw honey
1/2 cup cocoa powder
2 tsp. vanilla

Mint Chocolate Variation:
add 1 tsp. mint extract

Orange Chocolate Variation:
add 1 tsp. orange extract

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Things M Says (Part 41)

M, after talking incessantly to Super Mario World: "Hey Mom, is there a guy that pops out right here that goes 'zoop! zoop! zoop! zoop! ahh! and then throws fireballs?" 

Um, nope. Pretty sure I would have noticed that.

Thursday, July 07, 2011

My Planned Parenthood Carnival: My Story

(The carnival hub is here.  And there are lots of other posts on Shakesville here.  You can also look for the #MyPP hashtag on Twitter.)

I have actually never been to Planned Parenthood.  I live a life of white, middle-class privilege where my parents always covered my insurance.  And when I went to college, got married, and had children, I always had insurance.  I'm very lucky to have had that coverage.  For so many other women, Planned Parenthood is there for them for patient care.

My experiences with Planned Parenthood are more second-hand than anything else.  I had a roommate in college who used Planned Parenthood because she didn't have any insurance as a poor, newly-married student.  She had her first child under the watchful and affordable care of the Utah Valley Planned Parenthood.  I'm glad that she had that security.

A more recent second-hand experience involves my work with Phoenix Youth at Risk.  A youth in one of our programs came to me when she had just lost her virginity.  Her partner, a so-called best friend, snuck his condom off right before they started having intercourse.  He thought it was funny.  He thought maybe she wanted to have a baby.  She was 14.  I made sure that I wouldn't be breaking any rules by taking her to our local Planned Parenthood.  I found out that I was allowed to take her there, but I couldn't go inside with her.  I told her that I would take her.  She never did take me up on the offer, especially after she found out she wasn't pregnant.  But I'm glad that I have PP to lean on if another youth ever comes to me for help.

In short, I believe in Planned Parenthood.  They fill a vital, non-judgmental role in our communities all around the U.S.  I hope the voice of the people in every state holds Planned Parenthood up at this time of need.  If you can spare any donation money right now, please give what you can to Planned Parenthood.

Monday, July 04, 2011

Bone Broth Challenge (not so hard when you're on GAPS)

CHEESESLAVE is doing a Bone Broth Challenge for the month of July.  Since I am about halfway through my third month on GAPS, I decided to join in and raise awareness on bone broth and all it's benefits.

First things first, how do you make bone broth?  Well, I use the Broth is Beautiful recipe here.  You will find recipes for basic chicken, beef, and fish stock there.  Or I make my delicious basic Homemade Chicken Soup, without dumplings for now while I complete GAPS.

Lately I have been just throwing bones, water, carrots, celery, and a little apple cider vinegar into my slow cooker for one hour at room temperature (the vinegar draws the minerals out of the bones).  Then I move the slow cooker outside on a chair and cook it on high overnight.  That's the easiest way to make stock I have found.

I have had some truly amazing healing take place for me as I have drunk three cups of broth every day for the last 3.5 months.  You don't need to commit to GAPS or cups of stock every day to feel better though.  If you do the Bone Broth Challenge, you are only committing to one cup every day.  See how you feel after this month.

Benefits of bone broths include:

  1. Healing your gut lining: stock is alkalizing, which balances and soothes leaky gut syndrome (which most of us have from growing up eating the Standard American Diet (SAD)).
  2. Collagen: this can help reverse wrinkles and cellulite.  For me this is a possible added bonus while I do GAPS!
  3. Calcium and other minerals: this can revitalize your teeth and bones, hair and fingernails.  I have even heard some people swear they have remineralized teeth that have been hit by decay.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

My Planned Parenthood Carnival

What Tami Said and Shakesville are co-hosting an upcoming blog carnival.  On July 7th please join in on your own blog and link up with Shakesville and What Tami Said to share your story.  Planned Parenthood provides vital services to too many Americans for us to stand by and be silent.

Here is the blog announcement of the carnival so you can read more about what do to.  For example, on idea is to use the hashtag #MyPP on Twitter to raise awareness of the issue.

My Planned Parenthood: raise your voice. tell your story. July 7.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Modesty: Rape Culture, Rape Apology, Young Women, Young Men

[Trigger warning for rape and body policing.]
I have recently come across a few posts regarding what Young Women wear, and what they are told to wear.  Some say Stop Telling the YW to Be Modest for the YM, and some rebut with Please Keep Telling the YW to Be Modest for the YM.  Of course, whenever we veer into telling someone what to wear, there is a possibility for blame.  If we tell the Young Women not to show their shoulders, their legs, their skin, or even the outline of their body, because it will "make" the boys aroused, it sends a clear message: You are responsible for how the boys think and react to your sexual body.
While discussing what YW should wear, two different friends of mine used typical victim-blaming language.  One friend essentially said that he didn't think women are responsible for dressing modestly for men, but just that the men would appreciate it.  And another friend said that it would irresponsible for him not to teach his daughters that they can avoid unwanted sexual advances by how they dress.  I emphasize the italicized parts, because they are the most vital to understand the rape culture we live in.
The problems with these two statements?  It's still not a good reason to dress modestly for someone else, even when a benign word like "appreciate" is used.  It's still forsomeone else, essentially making women responsible for men's reactions to women's bodies.  And when women are responsible for how they dress "making" men aroused, the victim-blaming has commenced.  As for the second statement, how you dress has been shown NOT to affect rates of rape and sexual assault.  It could not be more clear that when we teach our young women how to dress for safety, we are not arming them with safety at all but simply reinforcing rape culture under the guise of concern.
This situation with good friends puts me in a difficult position, aptly described as The Terrible Bargain, where I either keep quiet about their rape apologetic answers or I do bring it up and risk friendships and credibility as I will most likely be seen as a shrill harpy for being so difficult to talk to.  In this case, I spoke up.
I pointed out to my friend that even if we tell our daughters to think a little bit of what they are wearing and how it makes men react, then it is still victim-blaming.  I also talked about how we generally deal with rape as "how can people avoid rape as victims", as opposed to "how do we hold perpetrators responsible".  Why are we so focused on the victims?  Because rape culture perpetuates our default explanation to be geared towards the victims.
It's easier to deal with victims than with aggressors. It's easier to tell women what to wear and how to act and how to avoid rape, than to root out sexual violence in our society and culture.  Easier is not good enough for me.  I expect more.  Let me say that again: I expect more.  Maybe instead of worrying about how we talk to our daughters about what they wear and and how they act and how that will get them raped, we need to be talking to our sons about how they treat women, or objectify women, or use women.
Addressing rape culture and the rape apologetics that we have all heard is a tricky business, but it is vitally important.  And here's the rub: people you know, people you like, people you respect, and people you love will, at some point, apologize for rape or victim-blame.  I still do myself sometimes, and I care about this issue passionately.  I am personally committed to eradicate victim-blaming from my thoughts, speech, and actions.  I expect more from myself, so I feel confident that I can reasonably expect more from people in my life.
The truth is that I'm not trying to hurt someone's feelings when I ask them to examine what they are saying.  I care too much about women to let rape apologia reign.  The truth is that I am not dense.  I understand what someone means when they say they want to protect their daughter by teaching her to avoid rape by dressing modestly.  But like so many other feminists, I expect more.
So in my defense, let's have a little quote, the portion that deals with how women dress in particular:
Rape culture is 1 in 6 women being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is not even talking about the reality that many women are sexually assaulted multiple times in their lives. Rape culture is the way in which the constant threat of sexual assault affects women’s daily movements. Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how you wear it, how you carry yourself, where you walk, when you walk there, with whom you walk, whom you trust, what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, what you drink, how much you drink, whether you make eye contact, if you’re alone, if you’re with a stranger, if you’re in a group, if you’re in a group of strangers, if it’s dark, if the area is unfamiliar, if you’re carrying something, how you carry it, what kind of shoes you’re wearing in case you have to run, what kind of purse you carry, what jewelry you wear, what time it is, what street it is, what environment it is, how many people you sleep with, what kind of people you sleep with, who your friends are, to whom you give your number, who’s around when the delivery guy comes, to get an apartment where you can see who’s at the door before they can see you, to check before you open the door to the delivery guy, to own a dog or a dog-sound-making machine, to get a roommate, to take self-defense, to always be alert always pay attention always watch your back always be aware of your surroundings and never let your guard down for a moment lest you be sexually assaulted and if you are and didn’t follow all the rules it’s your fault.
--Melissa McEwan from Shakesville, on FAQ: Rape Culture 101
Amen.  It's harmful to young women to be saddled with not only their own growing and changing bodies, developing sexuality, and insecurities, but also with the responsibility not to tempt boys and men.  And not just to tempt them in an impure-thoughts kind of way, but not to tempt them in a it's-your-own-fault-if-he-rapes-you kind of a way.  No woman deserves that kind of pressure and responsibility.
So not only is the question of rape culture and rape apology a tricky one, but now we get to figure out how we DO talk to our children and the Young Men and Young Women about sexuality, modesty, responsibility, and boundaries.  How do we navigate those waters without victim-blaming?  How do have these conversations without blaming women for men's thoughts?  If anyone can figure this out, it's our community here at The Exponent.  I'd love to hear your progressive, body-positive, feminist ideas.