A Typical Saturday Morning

• The sun wakes me up around 6. 6!
• I get all the baby stuff going: pumping, bottle warming, cereal
• M comes out bleary-eyed and asks "Can I watch a Wipeout? Do we have a Wipeout!?" and then when I get it ready on the DVR and fast forward to the beginning he always yells as I am pressing play "yeah yeah yeah, that's it, stooooopp!!"
• M wants to know if I am hungry, brings me a tangerine and attempts to force it into my mouth while I am pumping. It is not peeled.
  
• M and I talk about personal space.
  
• M doesn't want to wear anything but underwear today.
• As soon as I open E's door, E tries to get out of the swaddle blanket by frantically thrashing around until I unwrap him. Then he looks at me and whimpers like "Mom, the bottle's not in my mouth RIGHT NOW. I'm gonna freak out!"
• E does in fact freak out when he finds out that we are doing neck stretches before we get the bottle from the kitchen.
  
• E does a full body contraction that Martha Graham would be proud of as I bring the bottle towards his mouth. Then he relaxes into a little snuggly ball and latches onto my body like a baby monkey. Or a frog with suction-cup feet.
• M asks me if he can have gum for breakfast. Um, yeah, maybe my answer will be different this morning after the last 3 weeks of asking.
• E eats his cereal without spitting it out, but then R wakes up and E twists so far around that the cereal falls out.
• E smiles so big at R that I get a chance to shove the rest of the cereal in.
• M tells R that they are going to work together and M will be "super quiet". "But first", M says, "we are going to Safeway so we can buy bubble gum so I can show Mom how I can blow a bubble."
• M freaks out that R is not on board with this plan.
  
• R goes to work = Lame. At least it's just for a few hours.
  
• E does tummy time, back time, sitting time oh-wait-no-we-face-planted-twice-we're-all-done-with-sitting-time, and Exersaucer time.
• M plays with the marble run. The marbles talk to each other. "Shut up!" "Don't say shut up or you will go to time out!" "Ow! Don't hit or you will go to time out" Bam! Bam! Then they all go back in the top again.
  
• I sneak up on E, start stretching his neck and make a bunch of funny faces before he can remember to cry. I remember that this does not always work.
  
• E goes down for the morning nap, rubbing his little eyes all the way there.
  
• M waters the garden wearing just underwear and Crocs.
• M comes in and announces that he's Harry now and needs his wand. Said wand is found and M goes back out.
• Using a wand and a hose he "magically" waters all the plants.
• I decide to blog. I write "A Typical Saturday Morning" in the title box....