Saturday, March 21, 2009

11-year Streak Broken

Guest post by R

Well, two streaks actually. But more on that later.

I've been very fortunate these last 11 years: I've managed to traverse these eventful years only having heard 2 Spice Girls songs along the way (and these two songs, which I've managed to block out, were forced upon me while I was in a taxi in Russia and had no choice).

I'm most proud of my ability to avoid hearing that gawd-awful "Tell me what you want, what you really really want" song. Now that's not to say that I hadn't heard snippets of it; I had. But never more than about 5 seconds--15 if the remote or radio dial was out of reach.

This streak tragically ended about 2 weeks ago when I was shopping at Safeway at night. I was enjoying a peaceful, quiet stroll away from the screaming newborn at home. As I walked down the noodles/hamburger helper isle, a creepy feeling came over me, the vapid, cacophonous highly-processed musical stylings of the Spice Girls started, and I realized that fate and I were finally going to meet.

As my ears started twitching and I fought off the gag reflex I calmed myself down: "Oh well," I said to myself, "at least I've managed to make it this long. And it's not a complete loss: I've still managed to avoid that damned 'If you want to be my lover, first you got to get with my friends' song." But I was cut off in mid-thought: turns out the "really really want" song and the "get with my friends" song are the same song. I wasn't prepared for this unfortunate turn of events. How could Safeway do this to me? I'm a good guy, trying to love my kids and do the right thing. Plus, who the hell still plays Spice Girls these days, much less their 2 worst songs (which, as noted, turned out to be one super-terrible song)?


So my night was ruined. But things will be OK: my streak of not hearing any songs by "Hannah Montana" or from "High School Musical" is still firmly in tact.

Spice Girls taking their bow at their final concert together in Toronto, Canada, 26 February 2008

Their last concert together, which could not have come soon enough.

4 comments:

Matt & Kristen said...

Oh do we miss the R. Thank goodness, as the Spice Girls say, "friendship never ends". Thanks for a great laugh.

gretchen said...

A truly frightening expreience...I think the remedy is to watch as many consecutive hours of "Flight of the Concords" as you can.

k said...

In a recent turn of events, I got FOTC from Netflix! I still haven't started yet, but perhaps it is just what R needs to take his mind off the present ordeal.

gretchen said...

You'll have to tell me what you think of Flight of the Concords. I think it's hilarious.