So I've been waiting and waiting for my cloth diaper exchange to take place in the mail. I had insured the box I sent the wrong-colored ones back in, but it had NOT shown up according to the cotton babies website. Grrr. So I took Gretchen's advice and bought some disposable diapers for peace of mind. That worked for a little bit, but then Christmas came and went and this week came and still no sign of the box arriving at their warehouse in St. Louis. And then I found myself completely unworried yesterday. I thought to myself "no big deal, it's insured, I'm sure everything will be fine". These are unexpected words bouncing around my mind, which is usually racing and fearing the worst about things like this. But THEN!
That same evening I was chillin' with M and the doorbell rang. It was the glorious UPS man with a package full of correct-colored diapers. Hallelujah! But the diaper website still says they're waiting for my package to arrive there. ? Was this the work of some good samaritan at Cotton Babies that took pity on my plight? I have called them a few times the past weeks just to see if it was there, but not logged into the computer: no luck. (I have also called the post office: worthless bunch of hooligans losing my stuff. If they screwed over my nice friends at CB then I will collect that insurance money and give it back.)
Either way, I happily prepared the final touches on my nest. I washed and folded my diapers and looked satisfactorily around at E's room. I feel like things are falling into place and I'm maybe, possibly, even moderately ready for all the changes about to take place. I have been meditating a bit for clarity and well-being. I have a hard time visualizing what to expect in big life changes beforehand. This is a problem because I am so visual in the first place. In order to feel prepared and not-crazy I have to see things coming, even if it's vague. I finally can see baby E coming and being here. Does that sound crazy? I think most women can see and accept their babies in utero more readily than I can. For me it takes more work. My point is that my meditative times have paid off a little in this regard. I want to enjoy E when he comes, not stress out about every little thing (I already did that with M, and I regret not just holding him and being there.) I think E will come out when he's ready. And when I'm truly ready. That feels just about right.